Michelle's Happy Dance...

The Saga Continues:
Today, I had an appointment with an orthopedic sports doctor who is a Board Certified Orthopaedic Surgeon. His specialty training is Foot and Ankle Surgery, with a special interest in sports medicine. He is skilled in ankle and subtalar arthroscopy, ankle ligament reconstruction, Achilles tendon repair, tendon transfers, hallux valgus (bunion) corrections, and foot and ankle fractures/dislocations.

Sorry to get so boring up there. Anyway, the xray.....well there is not much difference between the one they took today, and the first one taken on January 22nd. Pretty much looks the same to me. He moved my toe up and down and touched it all over and it DID NOT HURT. He was very surprised about that. This is xray from January 22nd You can see the break on the right there into the joint!
































This is today's xray. You can see the same break there on the right. THE SAME!!!

Can I run? YES! He said as long as it doesn't hurt, go for it. Do I need surgery? No, he said. Can I run the Half Marathon on May 30th? If it doesn't hurt, then you sure can!!

Oh, he did say he wants me to continue the ultrasound machine for 6 weeks and come in for another xray.
Bottom line....it may never heal. Well it may never heal with bone filling into the break. He said scar tissue may fill in a bit but probably no bone. WHY? Just a bad break in a bad area.

I have an appointment on May 12th... So, I think this may be the last of the TOE saga for a while. I know I must be fucking boring you all to tears, but this is no April Fool's joke. It's for real. My 10 weeks of ass sitting is officially coming to an end. I can call myself a runner once again! WOO!!

It is what it is. And it's fucking happy day.














I am not sure how to word this correctly, but to each and every one of you - you have made the past 10 weeks infinitely better just by being here or there or everywhere. Knowing, I was able to vent and talk about it here AND not be judged AND be accepted AND loved AND you know, all the mushy gushy stuff, well it has made a world of difference to me. Not only are you guys THE BOMB, you also ROCK and ROLL and your just plain amazing. I thank you all from the bottom of my TOE!! Ha, you thought I was going to say heart didn't you!!! APRIL FOOL's!!! WOO!!!

The Universe told me today:
Ever notice how, when someone dreams of happiness, abundance, health, romance, or friendship, they never have to wonder if it's in their best interest?

But when someone dreams of a specific house, employer, love interest, deadline, dollar amount, or diet fad, they often end up contradicting themselves?

Keep your "end results" general, . Everything else is just a how.
To the big picture,
The Universe

"Colors are the smiles of nature."

Scream Your Excitement.....

Do you see the potential here? First, isn't it every women's dream to have a "shoe" closet? Well, in my case it is my dream to have a "running kicks" closet. Dude, I am drooling over the thought. All my kicks - not only in alphabetical order BUT also in color order. I get giddy just thinking about the possibilities.

Now real dude's what up yo? Can you picture it? Green man, you out there? A dream come true I suppose.

What would your dream closet be like? What would it hold? A little bit of everything or just 1 important item in your life? I'd like to know!!
















The Universe told me today:
Michelle, the Chinese say, "The best time to plant a tree was always 20 years ago. The second best time is always today."

Funny how planting trees and taking action on the life of your dreams are the same that way.
The Universe

“When Rabbit said, `Honey or condensed milk with your bread?' he was so excited that he said, `Both,' and then, so as not to seem greedy, he added, `But don't bother about the bread, please.'” A A Milne

Lights And Sounds...

Yellow Card - Lights and Sounds
Hello you
How was the rest?
You made it through
But never the less
I got you, out on a wire
You be love and I’ll be a liar
Tell it all and fill up the air
But make it loud ‘cause nobody’s there
Nobody’s there
Nobody's there (yeah)

Stop, turn, take a look around
At all the lights and sounds
Let ‘em bring you in
Slow, burn, let it all fade out
And pull the curtain down
I Wonder where you've been

Make it new but stay in the lines
Just let go
But keep it inside
Smile big, for everyone
Even when you know what they’ve done
They gave you the end but not where to start
Not how to build, how to tear it apart
So tell it all and fill up the air
But make it loud ‘cause nobody’s there
Nobody’s there

Stop, turn, take a look around
At all the lights and sounds
Let ‘em bring you in
Slow, burn, let it all fade out
And pull the curtain down
I wonder where you've been

Stop, turn, take a look around
At all the lights and sounds
Let ‘em bring you in
Slow, burn, let it all fade out
And pull the curtain down
I Wonder where you've been
You've earned everything you've found
And painted faces frown
I'll say I knew you will....

Sunday WORD OF THE DAY:
RUNNING: WOO!!
Running is a means for an animal to move on foot. It is defined in sporting terms as a gait in which at some point all feet are off the ground at the same time. This is in contrast to walking, where one foot is always in contact with the ground, the legs are kept mostly straight and the center of gravity rides along fairly smoothly on top of the legs. The term running can refer to any of a variety of speeds ranging from jogging to sprinting. Traveling on foot at a fast pace; "he broke into a run"; "his daily run keeps him fit"

1. Running
1) the physical act of, basically, moving your feet in a fast rythmic motion to propel yourself forward at a greater speed than if you were walking or jogging.
2) a sport, wherein people run as a form of athletic activity as opposed to merely another action that a person can take. In other words, they run for the sake of running (or in order to compete with other individuals in an event called a "race.") Some people totally dedicate themselves to this sport, to the point where it is a major part of their lives. Others do it on a fairly regular basis in order to stay in shape, or as part of a training/workout regimen.
Still others run occasionally, when they feel like it.
In order to run well, it helps to have good form (running incorrectly can put stress on your joints and be even more painful), good endurance, patience, and commitment (you don't just give up after 5 seconds, or you'll never get anywhere).

So, I ran 3 days in a row. 3 miles each time. Yeah, I know. I know I shouldn't be running 3 miles YET. Here are my stats:

3/26/09 3 miles 31.48 10.36 min/mile mile 3 ran in 9.56 355 calories burned
3/27/09 3 miles 31.25 10.28 min/mile mile 1 ran in 9.55 359 calories burned
3/28/09 3 miles 31.42 10.34 min/mile mile 2 ran in 10.10 360 calories burned

I realize I am pretty obsessed with times and paces and even calories. Humor me OK?

As far as my TOE is concerned, zero pain when running, zero pain when walking. Last night it was slightly puffy and red but this morning looks back to normal. Normal being relative of course. The ONLY time it does hurt is if I take my fingers and move my toe up and down or back and forth. It is then and only then that I feel pain. And not the jumping out of my skin kind of pain.

April 1st will be exactly 10 weeks since the break.

Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a night without moon or star.
Confucius

The dark side of the mind. The mind without light to see or discover or understand new things, different ways to doing, being, thinking, believing. Even the night, with its moon and stars is light and shows the way in the world, to a new world, a new way. (thank you dear friend Pat)

I am living in the light now folks. Darkness may come over me, but I will not allow it to envelope me in a menacing way. I love the dark, but I love it so that I can appreciate the universe and the galaxy and the mystery it gives to us. It teaches us to see things in a unique way. A good way.

I am not spouting these thoughts just because its spring and I am running again. I don't spout lightly. You go through stuff, whatever it may be and you usually come out stronger at the other end.

Oh, its not all lights and music. My mom, well she is dealing with CLL. Chronic lymphocytic leukemia. So, in essence I am dealing with CLL as well. So much to say about it, but I will hold off for another post.

So, it's Sunday and raining and gloomy and dark - yet all I am seeing is light. How freaking cool is that??














“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”
Oscar Wild

You Can Turn Off The Sun, But I'm Still Gonna Shine

How much of human life is lost, in waiting??
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Think about this!
Waiting for your life to begin
Waiting for your team to win
Waiting for the train to arrive
Waiting for your kid to strive
Waiting for the rain to pass
Waiting for the bell after class
Waiting for the job of your dreams
Waiting for things to become what they seem
Waiting for inspiration to come
Waiting to become rich and then some
Waiting for a person to change
Waiting for a bad mood to disappear
Waiting for your head to clear
Waiting for your boss to see your worth
Waiting for heaven on earth
Waiting for your due
Waiting for a cue
Waiting for someone to understand
Waiting for your enemies to be banned
Waiting for the world to get better
Waiting for that love letter
Waiting for something that will never come
Waiting for things to become undone
Waiting for wisdom to teach me
That waiting is just wasting time




Me and all my friends
We're all misunderstood
They say we stand for nothing and
There's no way we ever could
Now we see everything is going wrong
With the world and those who lead it
We just feel like we don't have the means
To rise above and beat it

So we keep waiting (waiting)
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting (waiting)
Waiting on the world to change
It's hard to beat the system
When we're standing at a distance
So we keep waiting (waiting)
Waiting on the world to change

Now if we had the power
To bring our neighbors home from war
They woulda never missed a Christmas
No more ribbons on the door
When you trust your television
What you get is what you got 'cause when they own the information ooohhh,
They can bend it all they want!

That's why we're waiting (waiting)
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting (waiting)
Waiting on the world to change
It's not that we don't care
We just know that the fight ain't fair
So we keep waiting (waiting)
Waiting on the world to change


One day our generation
Is gonna rule the population
So we keep on waiting (waiting)
Waiting on the world to change
Now we keep on waiting (waiting)
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting (waiting)

I waited 10 weeks until I could run again. I know this analogy may not be exactly right but as I was waiting, I lost precious time. I lost speed and I lost my fitness level. All because I had to wait.

Waiting is tedious and unforgiving. You walk into a bank or the DMV and invariably you will be waiting. You must make allowances in your day for waiting. 20 minutes for the subway. 10 minutes in Trader Joe's. 15 minutes to use the restroom (WOMAN). It is fucking annoying but it is inevitable isn't it?

A woman waits 9 months to give birth. Patience is a virtue they say!

From Wikipedia:
Patience is the state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties. It is also used to refer to the character trait of being steadfast.

I think of myself, most times as impetuous. Impulsive, thus waiting around is rendered quite torturous for me.

The best strategy for developing patience is by example.

Do you honk at other drivers when they are going too slow? I do!! So did my dad when I was growing up. I wonder...did I learn my impatience from him? Did he set the bar so low that I simply refuse to wait?

Well, I certainly didn't "WAIT" to run did I? Something to think about!! So, I am off for my run now. I think I've waited long enough, don't you??

What are some of the things that you wait for? And, do you mind the wait - like I do? Do you believe in the old say:
All good things come to those, that wait??



































The opposite of talking isn't listening.
The opposite of talking is waiting.

Inside All Of Us Is A Wild Thing....

I didn't want to wake you up - But I really want to show you something....

Inside all of us is HOPE
Inside all of us is FEAR
Inside all of us is ADVENTURE



















There's one in all of us!!!














The Universe told me today:
Warming planet - check.
Species on brink of extinction - check.
Ice caps melting - check.
Economies in chaos - check.
Michelle "in the house" - the one and only.
Grab a seat. We're about to witness the most exciting comeback in history.

How do you always get these leading roles?
The Universe

“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.”

One Week - Jumping For Joy....

Barenaked Ladies - One Week
It's been one week since you looked at me
Cocked your head to one side and said I'm angry
Five days since you laughed at me saying
Get that together, come back and see me
Three days since the living room
I realized it's all my fault, but couldn't tell you
Yesterday you'd forgien me
But it'll still be two days till I say I'm sorry


Hold it now and watch the Hoodwink
As I make you stop, think.
You'll think you're lookin' at Aquaman
I summon fish to the dish,
Although I like the Chalet Swiss
I like the sushi'cause its ever touched a frying pan
Hot like Wasabe when I bust rhymes
Big like LeAnn Rimes
Becasue im all about value
Bert Kaempfort's got the mad hits
You try to match wits, you try to hold me
But I bust through.
Gonna make a break and take a fake,
I'd like a stinkin' achin' shake
I like vanilla, its the finest of the flavours
Gotta see the show, 'cause then you'll know
The vertigo is gonna grow
Cause its so dangerous,
you'll have to sign a waiver


How can I help if I think you're funny when you're mad
Tryin' hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean? Well, you soon will
I have the tendancy to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of taking off my shirt


It's been one week since you looked at me
Threw your arms inthe air and said you're crazy
Five days since you tackled me,
I've still got the rug burns on both my knees
It's been three days since the afternoon
You realized its not my fault, not a moment too soon
Yesterday you'd forgiven me,
And now I sit back and wait till you say you're sorry



Vampire week is officially OVAH!










It is unheard of for Raw Cool to post 2 times in 1 day, but this simply cannot be helped. Once again, Vampire week is OVAH! I just came home from DR. TOE! I was all set to have an X-ray because, well thats what he told me last week.

NO!! NO!! NO!! He wants to wait ONE MORE WEEK to take another X-ray. BUT, BUT, BUT, he uttered the words I've been longing to hear for 10 weeks now. He said "Oh, you can run 1 mile every other day OR 1/2 mile every day. I know you runner's know when to take it easy right?". Umm, like YEAH!

Then I'm all like, but I have to tell you something Dr. TOE! I, I, I ran a bit. And then I quickly looked down to avert his horrified glance. Yet, all I heard was laughing. A big hearty laugh too. Dr Toe was all like, "and you were afraid to tell me, weren't you? Umm, like YEAH!! No hard done, he said.

Now, I am not sure if Dr TOE just likes me and wants to make me happy, or he really feels I can start running a bit because he feels there is more healing? I'd like to think its the latter!

I have a running date tomorrow morning with my running/doctor/mentor and I will appreciate it for what it is. A new beginning. A start. Slow and steady wins the race!!

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one”

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours”

“The energy of the mind is the essence of life.”

“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.”

“Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.”

“If my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it, I know I can achieve it.”

"To know someone here or there
with whom you can feel
there is understanding
in spite of distances or
thoughts expressed
That can make life a garden."
~ Goethe

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.
-- Albert Schweitzer

Simply, Thank You!!!!!!

The Hazards Of Love...

The Decemberists - Hazards of Love
My true love went riding out
in white and green and gray
past the pale of office wall
where she was want to stray
and there she came upon
a white and wounded faun

Singing
Oh, oh
the hazards of love

she, being full of charity,
a credit to her sex
saught to right the faun's hind legs
when here her plans were vexxed
The shifted strange
the beast began to change

Singing
Oh, oh
The hazards of love
Singing
Oh, oh oh oh
The hazards of love
You'll learn soon enough
The prettiest whistles won't wrestle the thistles undone
Undone

Fifteen maidens lay
along in their bower
fourteen occupations pay
to pass the idle hour

Margret heaves a sigh
Her hands clasped to her thigh

Singing
Oh, oh
The hazards of love
Singing
Oh, oh oh oh
The hazards of love
you'll learn soon enough
The prettiest whistles won't wrestle the thistles undone







He met my eyes with his penetrating gaze. Suddenly, it was hard to breathe. The temperature in the room spiked into the tropical range. My heart pounded in my chest like a ritual drum, and my knees threatened to buckle. I'd never seen such a gorgeous male. My logical mind engaged in a futile attempt to regain my attention -- to remind me that I'd just met this stranger and my behavior was unacceptable. Inappropriate. But something about him felt dark and dangerous. Desirable. I lifted my chin to give him better access to my neck. He smiled, showing a hint of fangs."

Vampires are all the rage these days.

Wait, what? Vampires??

They're creepy, they suck your blood, and they turn you into a creature of the night. So why do fanged vampires spark love at first bite?

The vampire represents the quintessential bad boy, He's got a terrible reputation, he's gorgeous, he's dangerous and most of all he's vulnerable.

We're drawn to vampires because of the thrill.

The newest vampire on the scene is the moody and handsome Edward Cullen in the movie Twilight.
And Edward's not the only member of the undead who's popular these days. On the HBO series "True Blood," Bill Compton is strong, fast and has switchblade-like fangs.

There is something very sexy about a vampire. They are intense and their need to be close to other humans is appealing. It's exciting because you just never know when a vampire is going to lose control and have to bite you.

Edward is a vampire who looks like a Greek god, he's insanely good looking, forever young and all he wants to do is read your thoughts and spend time with you When is the last time most men told their wife he wishes he could read her thoughts?

Women also love the concept of succumbing to a vampire, A vampire is a powerful man who sneaks into bed with you at night and, though he doesn't take you, he promises you eternal life. Once a vampire bites you, you become immortal.

Vampires are the ultimate safe sex. In the film Twilight' there is absolutely no sex and yet the vampire, is such a sex symbol he has the girls swooning for him.

I, myself find young male vampires totally hot and inviting. It is a powerful lure and pull. Then again, I am a sucker for insanely good looking men!
















So, are there hazards in loving a vampire? They don't follow any human rules or laws. Imagine James Dean with fangs.
I read this:
Women in therapy often report disappointment with the 'human' males they're in relationship with, "Would a handsome vampire sit in front of the television, scratching his stomach and drinking beer? Are women lusting after the undead Homer Simpson? Probably not. Imagining a heart-stoppingly-gorgeous man hovering outside your window is much more fun. Most of my clients would open the window."

So yeah, my window is always open.....

The Universe told me today:
Someone loves you very, very much, Michelle, and because you received this email, no matter how you received this email, it's important that you know it.
Someone besides me,
The Universe
"Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real." — Iris Murdoch
“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.”
— Marcel Proust
“When nothing is sure, everything is possible.” —
Margaret Drabble