Thursday, June 26, 2008

My liittle corner of the world....

Come along with me to my little corner of the world
Dream a little dream in my little corner of the world
You'll soon forget that there's any other place
Tonight, my love, we'll share a sweet embrace

There's this saying, i'm sure you've all heard it at one time or another..
Ignorance is Bliss! Not knowing something is often more comfortable than knowing it! Huh?

Sophocles said, 'For ignorance provides the happiest life'. But what is the meaning of 'happiest'? Is it going about your day-to-day life not knowing why things are the way they are? Are you happy because you feel what you see is what you get, and you feel no urge to delve into it more? If you are ignorant, does the world seem a better place because you just don't know of the pressing global issues threatening society? Is it merely a simpler life you lead… without so many complications?

Funny, I don't profess to know everything. In fact, in reality, i know nothing. A lot of nothing, but still nothing. My world is very small. I live in a corner of it most of the time.

When i am depressed, the very first place i need to be is up on my beloved boardwalk. The depression lifts almost immediately. I say almost because sometimes it doesn't. I walk. I think. I observe what is going on around me. Life is being lived. And still i know nothing. I am ignorant. I say this without being harsh about myself. It's just the truth.

When i am happy, the very first place i need to be is up on my beloved boardwalk. The happiness stays with me. It lifts me up. I still walk, i still think and i still observe. I still know absolutely nothing. Am i blissfull? Nope! Not quite.

My boardwalk has provided me with years of, shall i say entertainment. It's my little corner of my world. I walked hand in hand with a boy! I did. Yet, i knew nothing. I talked and talked to the most interesting of people, met the most interesting of people, yet i know nothing. I ran some of my best times up on the boards. I even have the trophies to prove it! I knew nothing.

I had silly accidents up on those boards. I fell, on my face!!! Tooth through lip, 10 stitches later, i knew nothing. Ignorant bliss is the way i saw it. I ran in snow, wind, rain, sleet, bright sunshine, humidity, ice and yet i knew nothing.

So, where am i now? What DO i know??? Here are some of the things I think i know:

1) I know how to be a friend
2) I know how to count to 10
3) I know that life is not as tidy as i'd like it to be and thats OK!
4) I know (now) not to let things get to me! Go with the flow! Chill!!
5) I know i am a good runner! Not great, but very good!
6) I know that i do not need things the way i thought i did!
7) I know that family is #1
8)I know that ignorance is certainly not bliss!!

It's actually kind of funny! This blog was originally supposed to be all about Raw Cool! Thats it! Raw stuff, maybe some recipes, my observations about raw...its that but so much more! I love Raw, i do, but i am not quite where i want to be with it. I admit i am not 100%. I know nothing. Raw is sooo much bigger than i am. Not complicated, just big! And getting bigger! Which is so Raw Cool!

My point is, that my blog is now complicated. Its big! To me, at least it is. Most of the time i am real serious here. I have to be. I bare my heart and soul. I don't want to hide behind some invisible blog shield. I want to be open and honest! I know nothing. I am ignorant.

But, folks what i do know is how to love. I know how to express (slowly) my feelings and thoughts. My emotions. My very being. I live in such a small corner, i wonder what will happen when i turn the corner, out into the open! Do i even want to do that?? Sure!

Big world, little! Gotta get out there, experience it all. Not be so afraid.

The other doors, are the doors i always want to go through! I think we all do, thats why we eat raw. Why go through the same old doors day after day? Eat Raw!!

I have to tell you, those yodels look mighty fine to me right about now!

But, for now i am a:

Will keep you updated as things happen, or when i think i know something! Anything really!!!

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Must have done something right..... and Tatts...

I am fine! Here is an after photo of me:

I kind of wish the surgery could have taken care of my absolute dorkiness, but somehow that wasn't part of the procedure!

Seriously, it went better than i expected. There is a lot to be said for heavy duty sedatives coursing through your veins. I don't even remember falling asleep or waking up. It just was! I just was!

What i do remember:
My doc wearing funky purple scrubs, including cool hat!
Putting on horrible hospital gown and some sort of underware!
Asking my doc how many of these procedure's she has done.
Being put onto the operating table
Scooting my behind into position
Being jabbed with IV
The anesthesiologist saying "OK, its going in"

Thats pretty much it, before!

Laying on gurney in recovery room
Asking nurse what time it was
Asking nurse if i could sit up
Sitting up
Walking to chair and drinking hot cocoa
Going to the bathroom
Getting dressed

Thats pretty much it, after!

Easy!!!! Too easy actually. What can i say, i'm one brave dork!!!??

So, the plan was to get another tattoo! My 4th actually! I knew i wanted a butterfly! Why? Because, to me butterflys represent a free spirit, A butterfly is a symbol of transformation or change, love and joy.

To me, it represents beauty, changes, taking flight, simplicity and peace. At first, its an ugly catepillar and no one will give it a second look. but with time and dedication, it becomes something marvelous to the human eye. Its a natural wonder. So, with my life, after getting through some tough times, a butterfly just reminded me of myself actually. I had to take time and appreciate what I had and what I hope to be in the future.

I just got my butterfly tattoo last night. It was exhilarating, it is beautiful and calm it is colorful and vibrant...everything I want to continue to be! ~ Happy.

It was a great experience. Getting my tattoo! I have three others, but this one by far is my very favorite! It's awesome. Everytime i pass a mirror i have to take a peek! I just love it so much. Who knows, i may go for number five tatt in the future! I now realize that getting a tattoo that represents something is the way to go!

I will share my others with you when i have the perfect photos of them.

I feel happy today! When things fall into place, the place in my head responds. Life can be so much better than i even thought. There's just so much to grasp and hold on to.

Thanks for all your prayers!

Yeah thats what i'm talking about!!!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Keep the party going!!! OK???

I Wanna Be Sedated

So, tomorrow is the day. Well, it's only just a day isn't it? As a friend said, it's an adventure! It's an adventure that only i can have huh? I will be sedated and in the words of my good friend Ilene "you won't give a shit"!

The procedure, i'm told will take about 30 minutes. Thats a very long time, but no time. I will be unaware of what is happening, i hope! I won't get into the exact position i will be in, but lets just say its not too comfy.

I fully intend to pig out afterwards, as i am not allowed to eat or drink after midnight tonight. My dream is a tremendous bagel with a fried egg and some form of cheese dripping down. My reality will probably be something much less interesting. A smoothie perhaps?

The Philips Ambulatory Care Center is where i will be. Here is one of their rules:

What to Bring – Escort Requirement for Ambulatory Surgery
If you are scheduled for Ambulatory Surgery (in other words, your physician has told you that you will return home following your procedure), you MUST have a responsible escort over 18 years of age take you home. If you are unable to arrange for an escort, you should discuss this with your physician before the date of surgery. Should an escort not be available on the day of surgery, your surgery will be cancelled.

Whats really cool is that it's near Whole Foods, Trader Joes and get this...One Lucky Duck. I am not anticipating any problems or a long recuperation.

In fact, i am most probably going to get my 4th tattoo on saturday! I won't tell you what it is yet, photos will be forthcoming though!

So, i guess if you feel so inclined, maybe a prayer or two for me would be nice! Just ask God dude to get me the heck out of there as fast as possible so i can get on with my life.

There are a couple of really cool recipes for green popcorn and crusty califlower that i came across. I am excited to try these! This weekend, perhaps!

So, you see life goes on! GOD dude is protecting me! How friggin cool is green popcorn? How friggin cool is crusty califlower? It's cool, believe me!

Here's a funny:
In the middle of an international gynecology conference, an English and a French gynecologist are discussing various cases they've recently treated.

French Gynecologist : "Only last week, zer was a woman ooh came to see me, and 'er cleetoris - eet was like a melon."

English Gynecologist : "Don't be absurd, it couldn't have been that big, my good man, she couldn't have been able to walk if it was."

French Gynecologist : "Aaah, you eenglish, zare you go again, always talkeeng about ze size... I was talkeeng about ze flavor..."

Here i am in a before photo! Nope, the surgery is not for my smelly armpits!!!

Sunday, June 15, 2008


Love is patient,
Love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
It is not proud. It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
It is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
But rejoices in truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes,
always perseveres, Love never fails.

So, today my post will be about words. First...the word WORD!

Word Up

1. A greeting.

2. Another way to say, Yeah! or Damn Right!

YES, so this is cool huh? You use the word, word to express something. Something positive and hopeful.

But then there are the real words. The words you hear everyday that may or may not be so positive and hopeful. And thats OK! Thats the beauty of the written and spoken word!

Unfortunately, i'm one of those people who takes words way too literally! If something is said to me, in good faith, i tend to believe. I do, so shoot me! 2PM means 2PM, not 3.30PM. Of course, i know and realize that things happen in life that may hinder the word. Thats ok and i can accept that. What i cannot accept is when words are used in a hurtful manner. I don't like that at all.

It becomes sad when you have to pick and choose the words that you use. Wouldn't it be cool if, when the words come to you, you can say them and not hurt another living being??? Say only the good words. Don't use words like hate, kill, die, loathe, inconvenience, hostility, obnoxious, loathing, detest, evil, wicked, nasty, vindictive, cruel, mean or malicious!

These words exsist and yes they are used. But, they are not used by me and probably never will be. I know how hurtful they can be to others so i stay away.

There are many ways to say things to others. Hey dude, i love you! I use this term freely. I love freely. Love, as stated above, is kind. It rejoices in truth, it protects and never fails. WORD UP!!!

This weekend, among other things...i learned about the power of WORDS. I feel enlighted and so full of hope. I feel very happy. I've come to certain conclusions and will live my life accordingly. This is a very good thing. Trust me! I've had long talks and got to know the people most important to me. I discovered some scriptures and proverbs that totally ROCK!!! WORD UP!

Here are some i'd like to share:

A friend loves at all times. Proverbs 17:17
Walk by faith, not by sight-- 2 Corinthians 5:7
Thy word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Psalm 119:105
The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer. Psalm 18:2

Its all good believe me! This post is so positive and i feel so strongly that things in my life will take a turn for the best! The best is yet to come, i say. WORD UP!

So, tell me folks what words do you use in your life that has meaning to you? The word that has the most meaning to me right now is:
Trust! WORD UP!!!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008


I'm seeing, feeling, learning through life that it all starts with the spirit. Your spirit. When your spirit is in a good place then your thoughts will be good, and then your actions will be positive. I guess that just makes sense. But it is easy to forget in the whirlwind of life. If I can check in with myself and make sure my heart is in the right place in regards to any situation in life that feels like it needs attention, that seems to be a good way for me to get myself straight. Everything else just follows naturally.
The Daily Raw Inspiration - 6/11/08 spirit first

Coldplay - Viva La Vida Live

Coldplay - Fix You

My friend Sam over at yardsnacker did a great post about my most favorite band. COLDPLAY! I am so excited and looking forward to June 17th when their new CD Viva La Vida drops to the world. So far i've heard 2 songs off the CD and they are both great IMHO.

When music can excite me, i know its special. I've been a huge Coldplay fan for years now. Let's face it, Chris Martin is not too hard on the eyes.

Here's a bit of what Chris has to say:
Chris Martin has described this album as a new direction for Coldplay: a change from their past three albums, which they have referred to as a 'trilogy' Martin has also revealed that this album features much less of his falsetto, and he has allowed his voice's lower register to take precedence. Some songs on Viva la Vida, such as "Violet Hill", contain distorted guitar riffs and bluesy undertones.

Pretty cool huh?

The second song i included here is Fix You! Gosh i love that song. Sometimes, i listen to it over and over again. The words, the singing just resonates with me.

There is nothing like cranking up my ipod and going for a run to some amazing music. I think Coldplay has hit paydirt with this new CD coming out. Some say Coldplay has changed. Isn't change good? It is!!!

So, June 17th run, don't walk over to itunes, amazon or wherever you purchase your music and let me know what you think!

As Sam says:
These guys go dig deep into the love and what a treasure they’ve dredged up! I cannot wait to play this baby on my setup!

As Michelle says:
These guys go dig deep into the love and what a treasure they've dredged up! I cannot wait to play this baby on my setup! Hmmm, one question Sam...what is a setup???

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Friday, June 6, 2008

The Good - The Bad.....

“so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”- Ephesians 3:17-19


Excellent running all week long! No pain! But much gain!

Meeting Anthony for lunch at Quintessence! Good food, good company!

Seeing my mom (slowly) healing from shingles! She would tell you different though!

Getting cleared for surgery! HUH? This is good? It is, trust me.

Thinking about my next tattoo. YES! This will be #4 and probably my last (maybe)

Making zucchini pasta with my spiralizer. Good upper body workout!

Learning never, ever, never to keep an ipod on your lap while getting a pedicure. trust me on this one!

Discovering lots and lots of new great music. Learning lots of new raw recipes!



How can this be? Don't really know but it is! My heart feels happy this week. Sure, there are some dark moments, but you get through them. There is so much good in life, you just have to search for it and hold on tight once you find it. If you let it go, thats ok. It comes back all by itself. I promise you this. If you learn to be honest with your feelings, then others respond positively. They appreciate your candor and everything falls into place.

I try to be there for the important people in my life. I think its appreciated. Even if its just to hold the door for my 85 year old neighbor. When i see the little hint of a smile on his face, i know i touched him in some way. It's the little things.

GOD dude, i thank you every single day. He definitely has my back and pulls me through. I see this in every day little mundane things. The ordinary things that happen in life. GOD dude is there watching. I give thanks for every sunny, rainy, cloudy, yucky, beautiful, cold, hot, windy day. Life!

So, there are no bad things to talk about. I am happy today! I'd like to talk a little bit about the Jewish holiday Shavuot is coming Sunday night at sundown.

Shavuot is about the giving of the Commandments at Sinai (which happened on or very near Shavuot). It is also about the giving of the Spirit, which came upon the followers of Yeshua in Acts 2. There are parallels between Mt. Sinai and Acts 2:

-God chose Israel as his people at Sinai. Likewise, God chose the followers of Yeshua to be an extension of his people in Acts 2.
-Mt. Sinai was accompanied by signs of thunder and fire on the mountain. The Acts 2 event was accompanied by a great wind and fire on the heads of Yeshua’s followers.
-The Commandments were given to Israel as a sign of God’s covenant with his people. The Spirit was given to Yeshua’s followers as a sign, a seal, and an empowerment.

The giving of the Spirit is a sign of God’s choosing the followers of Yeshua to join his people. The giving of the Spirit is a seal, attesting to God’s ownership of each follower of Yeshua. The giving of the Spirit is an empowerment, changing our desires without removing our free will. Finally, the giving of the Spirit is a potential empowerment for more, as God can at any time use any of Yeshua’s followers in a miraculous way.

Shavuot is the Torah and the Spirit. As Paul said, God chose the followers of Yeshua “in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit” (Rom. 8:4).

This holiday really means a lot due to the followers of Yeshua being the "chosen" people by God! At least, thats what i think. Being a Messianic Jew brings these thoughts to the surface and once again, i thank God dude for all he has bestowed upon me!

So, there are no bad things to talk about. I am happy today!!!

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

The Dance.....

For everything that was written long ago was written to instruct us, so that we might have hope through the endurance and encouragement that the Scriptures give us.
Romans 15:4

“If happy comes along– that weird, unbearable delight that’s actual happy– I think you have to grab it while you can"

How I love lost evenings. How I love people with fire in their bellies. I think people without passion are missing a lot of life's experience.

I've been carrying these around with me since the weekend.
These are the little jewels in my brain. The little bits of treasure I think about when I need some perspective. I'm no great philosopher, I leave that to the earnest singer-songwriters I spend my time and money following.

I guess the closest I ever get to a world-view is this: "You've got to celebrate today, 'cause sure as hell it's all going to go to shit tomorrow". It's funny how often that comes up in my life.

Anyway. No Proust, no highbrow philosophy for me. It's all about the learning!!!!

Ah, before I descend into and I love all my friends and you're all beautiful and I love you and you're beautiful and.....well, you know. I'd better get on with some writing.

I am constantly amazed at the inordinate amount of learning that can be done. Just when i thought i knew it all, i find that nope...i really don't. Probably never will either. Like a sponge, soaking it all in and in and in! Every day when i wake up, i think to myself, what can i learn today to make, not only my life better, but the lives of the people that i care about too??? What can i learn?

I can learn anything really! Just today, i learned the correct way to give a urine sample to the doctor. There is a technique to it and now that i know that technique i will never give a bad urine sample again! Just today, i learned that woman actually use menstrual blood to water their houseplants. Would i have ever thought to do that? Absolutely not, never, ever! Just today, i learned the value of learning disabled youngsters volunteering at my local Petco store. Amazing really! These young people felt like they were valued and needed! How cool is that??

Even when i run, i learn. I learn the art of sticking with something until the end. I learn that even if i do not stick with it until the end, life goes on! I learn that wearing a baseball cap really keeps the sun out of my face. I learn that i sweat A LOT!!! Good detoxing huh? I learn that even though i am 17 years younger than a 60 year old, i cannot run as fast or as long as he can! This is all good. It makes me think about my next run and what i need to do to make it better. OR i learn that it simply cannot get any better than it already is!

I learn a lot in my friendships and relationships. I used to say i didn't want any friends and i just wanted to be all alone. Not any more though. Want to know why? Well, its simple really...i seeked out friendships with like minded, healthy people who encourage me and makes me feel whole. People who i trust 100%! People who i completely enjoy spending quality time with. People who do not judge me if i make a mistake and people who give me a chance to make it right again. I may not always get it right but i try hard. I am learning. I know a few things already. I know that most people need their space and when they say they need their space, i must respect that. I know that i must respect a persons needs and wants. I know that i must respect...period!

Most of my older friends and aquantances are just that. They don't get the raw lifestyle at all. Zucchini pasta? They are perplexed. They get confused. "You mean, you eat raw chicken??" HUH? Come on guys! Now i do not want to use any derogatory words, but raw chicken???? Whatever!

I learn about emotions and feelings. How its good to talk about those feelings and be honest about it too. "Hey, dude you hurt my feelings today"! Ok, that sounds slightly pathetic and oddly liberating at the same time. Hey, i admit i am a DORK/NERD/GEEK but i am very proud of that. I learn that its good to talk things out with a friend and get it all out in the open. Then you can learn how to fix it and make sure it never happens again. I learn when to pull back and also when to push ahead.

Its fun, in a way. Friendships. Getting to know a new friend and then realizing that even though that person may be a "new" friend you've known that person all your life!!! Just never met until now. GOD dude at work. Amazing really! Do things happen for a reason? Yeah, thats the life long question on everybody's mind lately.