Thursday, July 31, 2008

When water comes to life....

All you need to know
Is you are born of water
You are made of water
You are merely water, water, water

Cloud Cult is an experimental indie rock band led by singer/songwriter Craig Minowa. I like them. I like them a lot! You can read a bit about them here my space cloud cult.
Check this out:

In 1997, lead singer Craig Minowa created Earthology Records to release his band's recordings. This nonprofit label uses only recycled materials and donates all profits to environmental charities. The band also tours in a biodiesel van.

The most common theme to Cloud Cult's songs is the 2002 death of Craig and Connie Minowa's baby son Kaidin. After this tragedy Craig wrote over a hundred songs to deal with the loss.

One of the most distinctive features of Cloud Cult shows is the live painting by Connie Minowa and Scott West. Over the course of a show they each complete a painting that is auctioned off at the end.

What do you guys think of that?? Pretty neat huh?

I got yelled at today! Yep, i did. Not by my mom or sister or even a friend. Nope, i got yelled at by the dreaded dental hygienist!! I was a very bad girl and she knew it! See, somehow i thought if i didn't floss for 5 months Roz wouldn't know. Hey, its only 5 months. I thought i could hide it. But how? Once i opened my big mouth and she stuck that horribly sharp instrument inside, she knew. Immediately. And she yelled at me. Almost brought tears to my eyes. She said that i wasn't doing what i was supposed to do and when i told her she was hurting me, want to know what she said??? She said and i quote "tough, you deserve all the pain" HUH?? Yeah, well i guess. But still, it seemed as if she was enjoying inflicting the pain. She almost had this maniacal frenzied look as if she was purposely trying to make it hurt. ODD!!

You know its funny, i always thought i had a very high tolerance for pain and i usually do. I mean i have 5 tattoos and i sort of enjoyed getting them. I run everyday and if thats not a high tolerance for pain, i don't know what is but this tooth/gum pain is just the pits. The pain seems to reach the very core of my being and beyond. It made my eyes water and my hands clench to my sides. I almost slid out of the chair. It hurt damnit. A lot!

But, you know i have no one to blame but myself. I got LAZY! I thought to myself, i'm drinking greens and i'm eating some raw food, must make my teeth all healthy! Yeah right. It didn't. Then i started going off the wagon. Eating more and more cooked foods. Sweets. Icecream. CRAP!!! Crap imbedded inside your teeth is not good. Not healthy. It just isn't. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to know this. So. my oath to myself is to floss everyday and do whatever Roz tells me to do. SWEET!!

I went purple today.
The Color Psychology of Purple

Purple is the symbol of royalty and wealth.

Purple also represents wisdom and spirituality.

Purple does not often occur in nature, it can sometimes appear exotic.

I think i look pretty fucking cool with my purple finger nails. It's shiny and kinda gives off tiny flashes of light every time i look at it. Maybe, i glow in the dark. It's just that its summer still and i want to draw attention to myself. Yes, i said that. I want to be noticed. Why not?

I'm certainly not the most beautiful or the most exotic but with purple finger nails i stand out just a bit. In line at Whole Foods i'm noticed. Riding up in the elevator i'm noticed. Not because i'm beautiful, but because of my purpleness! Next time i may go orange!

You know i've been kicked to the curb way to many times in life. I've even been stepped on and it hurt a lot! No more i say!

Here is a wonderful quote a dear friend shared with me recently:
First keep the peace within yourself, then you can also bring peace to others.
— Thomas A Kempis

Makes a lot of sense doesn't it? If you, as an individual do not feel peaceful and calm, how can you make others around you feel it? You can't. At least i can't! I've made peace with many things in my life. I've accepted things that may at one time, been difficult and i move on. It's really that simple. Dwelling on things is so very harmful. So very negative. It's just not done in my world anymore. I have people who care about me. Lots of people here have shown this to me. It's rather incredible.

There is an incredible array of information and philosophies and joy that one can have. It's a given. It's a fact. I have it. I'm living it. Summer transforms into Autumn and you know what, i can't wait! I can't wait to feel the cool breezes as i run. I can't wait to see the leaves falling and feel the crunch underneath my feet. Believe it or not, i can't wait to feel my the cold breeze on my face as Winter approaches. It's magical. It just is.

So, why dwell? Why think stupid thoughts. I must stay positive and hopeful. Everything else is crap. It's poo! It's shit! Really, take my word for it. Trust me, i know! I am only going to do things from now on, that make me happy. I will surround myself with positive, meaningful, beautiful people. People that love orchids and writing and photography and learning and most of all, people that are loving!

Another wonderful quote from a wonderful friend:
"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." -- Bernard Meltzer.

So, who cares if i am slightly cracked? Anybody? Speak up please! The comment section will be open folks. Be honest, OK?

So, i'd really like to thank the Academy for this wonderful award! I'd also like to give a shout outz to God dude for making it all possible. My parents? Sure, them too! It was a pleasure to act in this movie with all of the celebrities i love. I am glad i had a staring role so i was able to hang out a lot in my trailer getting massages and eating wonderful raw food! I am a diva! I am wonderful! Gosh darnit, everybody likes me!! Right? You do, don't you? Hmmm, hello? Hey, why are you taking the award away from me??? Is that my alarm clock? Oh my, is it 6am already? Is this a dream? I didn't win the Academy award? Oh shit! You don't like me after all? WTF??

Monday, July 28, 2008

The songs that we sing.....

And if you need to kiss me, than youll most definatly miss me

There's a very nice quality to Ed Harcourt! Sure, he's easy on the eyes but his music speaks to me! You can certainly check his music out here My space Ed Harcourt and read about him here Ed Harcourt. I like that he's from the UK! I also like this:
Hi there. My name is Ed Harcourt and I like writing songs, painting, fishing, cooking, cats, wolves, ducks, books, charity shop vinyl, drinking in good company, buying weird old instruments that no-one has heard of on e-Bay and starting up a for myself because someone else has already done it. Confused? Me too. I'm married to the beautiful Gita Harcourt. That's all you need to know. Bye.

Oh well, he's married!

Her name is Jessica! She is 8 years old, almost 9! Her mom told me that she has started asking "questions". Her mom bought her this The care and keeping of you. It's quite a book. Here is how its described:

This “head-to-toe” guide answers all a girl's questions about her changing body, from hair care to healthy eating, bad breath to bras, periods to pimples, and everything in between. Over 2 million copies sold!

Here is Jessica proudly posing for me with her book in hand! Gotta tell you, i was a little flabbergasted when she flipped the book open, very flippantly i might add and said "Michelle, lets look at her vagina"! YIKES!!! Now i am not sure that Jess, oops she doesn't like to be called Jess..she told me quite seriously that she prefers to be called by her full name Jessica!! Anyway, i'm not entirely sure Jessica knows what it means to menstruate or even exactly where her vagina is but then again she is 8 going on 9 and knows a heck of a lot more than i did when i was her age. I'm very sure of that!! After all she is a kid growing up in a time when having an ipod and computer of your own is pretty much a given. I do think that it is a very good informative well done book. Jessica seemed to be really interested in browsing through it and also to show me parts that she thought were a bit silly! Pretty neat huh?

Here's my man Zachary!! 10 years old, almost 11 and a huge New York Mets fan! He is a very sweet, sensitive young man IMHO! He cares about his younger sister even though he likes to hit her when sitting next to her in the car! Don't worry, Jessica hits him right back much to their mom's chagrin! I tend to giggle at that, again much to their mom's chagrin!

This is what you will see Zachary doing most of the time. Nope, i won't put him down because he plays video games. Most of the boys between the ages of 7-12 do, don't they? Plus, he plays baseball video games only! No shooting games, no violent games, no bloody games, just baseball. Period! To his credit, he does love to actually "play" baseball. He told me very proudly or rather showed me his big boo-boo on his thigh! "I got hit by a pop-up" he told me! "On my leg"..."it kinda hurts a little"...being all cool like!!

Being that i do not have children of my own, and may never...i found it both fun and enlightening to spend time with these great kids. I know their mom since she was born. Jessica looks exactly like her mom did at her age. It's kinda freaky. Same personality too!

I think having children is one of the most amazing things in life. I just can't fathom the fact that somehow 1 sperm attaching to 1 egg produces a human being. It's crazy and so miraculous! It's nature at its finest. Or is it GOD dude? I really don't know. It just is!

Sometimes, i think kids can teach us adults a thing or two. They know why the sky is blue or at least they can explain it in such a way that it makes total sense. Who knew from the internet when i was a kid? I thought i was so cool using a transistor radio and tuning into the most popular rock station. Then came the coolness!!

It's just such a different world today. A little scary because kids grow up way to fast IMHO! Dating, sex, all that craziness is something that a 10 year old girl should not be thinking about. Dolls, books, Hannah Montana...thats what i'm talking about!!! 10 year old boys, video games, sports and maybe some cool music, again thats what i'm talking about!!

I am very glad i was able to spend some time with these great kids. Jessica, so cool and lady like, yet still very much a little girl. Zachary, so boyish and aloof yet always asking for a hug! So very cool.

Drink me! I'm just saying!

Wilma: I cannot believe you just sat there and let them walk out on us.
Fred Flintstone: At least I can walk around the house in my underwear again.
Wilma: And that is more important to you than 30 years of friendship?
Fred Flintstone: It is on a hot day.

Cliff Vandercave: Do you know what we do up here?
Fred Flintstone: Well me and the guys have always wondered.
Cliff Vandercave: We interface, Flintstone, we conceptualize, tenderize, prioritize.
Fred Flintstone: When do we eat?

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Kill the Batman....

I am so not the person to rave about a movie but today i feel the need! So, i saw The Dark Knight the other night with a friend. I went in with absolutely no expectations or even knowing exactly what the story was. I figured if i liked it, it was worth the $12 and if i didn't, well at least i got to see one of Health Ledger's last performances! It blew me away!!!

Let's start with Batman's last line "You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain". This movie is surely the best of the year so far and deservedly so.

The acting is top-notch. Not a single actor in this movie comes up short. Christian Bale portrays Batman better than he did in its predecessor. Aaron Eckhart impresses with his take of Harvey Dent and Two- Face, Maggie Gylenhaal does a fantastic job playing the role of Rachel Dawes. Even the small characters of Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman are very well dealth with!

But the most important person who steals the show is the one and only MR. Heath Ledger, even Batman looks a bit frightened by him (look at the eyes of Batman when he interacts with the Joker in the jail cell).

Heath's acting in this movie is unlike anything i have ever seen before. Never has a character made me feel afraid, horrified, confused then had me laughing in hysterics all in the space of 10 seconds. At times he truly is a horrifying figure to watch, then he switches to a lunatic, you cant help but laugh at. He has managed to truly capture what the Joker really is in this movie. A dangerously insane human being.

This is easily the best batman movie and way better than "Begins".

So i'll just say watch it even if u are not familiar with the Batman franchise.

Watch it simply for the cynicism of Heath Ledger and you will know why there is already an Oscar buzz.

In final thought, the Dark Knight is epic, emotional, and exciting, all at the same time. I loved this film, it was tense and disturbing while being at times a little comical through the Joker's odd, dark sense of humor. I could go on all day long talking about how perfect this film was, but I'll try to wrap things up here. The Dark Knight is easily the best film of 2008, and should definitely be considered for some big-time Oscars, in particular Heath Ledger's stunning performance as the Joker; but not only is The Dark Knight the year's best film, it is the best film of the decade thus far.

I just really enjoyed this film!

Funny story:
So with about 20 minutes left to the film, i took out my ipod to check the time. Not because i was bored, i just like to know time is all. In the back of my mind, i was thinking, Michelle please don't drop your ipod!! I dropped it! It clattered to the floor and i started freaking out because my ipod is my life! Ok, well maybe not my life, but very definitely my entire music life...So what did i do? I literally got down on the floor of the movie theatre on my hands and knees searching for the ipod. I first checked underneath my seat, then somehow i started checking under the seat of the very nice young man sitting next to me. He looked down at me and nicely gave me his cell phone to use as a flash light! So, here i am on my hands and knees with another mans cell phone, seaching for my ipod. He then politely said to me "wait till the movie is over and the lights come on"...i looked at him as if he had two heads and said in a whisper, "i cannot do that, i need to find it NOW"...Ok, i did find it, it literally fell straight down where my feet were so i was totally looking in the wrong place!! I felt strangely embarrassed and slightly stupid all at the same time!! It was as if my life depended on finding my ipod at that very moment in time!! The nice young man next to me chuckled a bit and went about settling into his seat once again to view the rest of the film! Me, well i clutched the ipod with both of my hands and smiled just a little to myself at the absurdity of the event that just took place!

Son, being popular is the most important thing in the whole world.
Homer Simpson
It's like something out of that twilighty show about that zone.
Homer Simpson
Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
Homer Simpson

And finally, Homer Simpson has advice for those who want to complain about anything. It's really an almost Zen observation on how to achieve and maintain a spiritual level of content. The problem that most people have is that they are unhappy because of something that occurred previously. For instance, many of us are unhappy that Pres. Bush lied to us about Iraq in order to win approval for sending strangers to die there. If you find yourself unhappy about something, I suggest you take these words of Homer Simpson to heart. Study them. Consider the depth of meaning that exists in this deceptively simple observation. "Everything looks bad if you remember it." Yes, no matter what your problem, no matter what it is that is causing your misery, the resolution to your discontent could not be simpler. Just stop remembering whatever it is that caused you to become unhappy. If you quit remembering it, it won't seem as bad.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Acid Wash Soul....

So, what? I'm happy. Or i was happy the day that photo was taken. Or was i? There are way to many variables on what happy means to me.

From Wikpedia:
Happiness is an emotion associated with feelings ranging from contentment and satisfaction to bliss and intense joy.

I certainly don't feel blissful. I certainly don't feel intense joy. So, what do i feel? Well, i feel mostly confused and scared. I feel as though i am floating on by and watching my life before my eyes.

I like this quote by Anne Frank:

The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature.

I guess if she could see the simple beauty of things with what she went through, why can't i? I am no where near experiencing the amount of suffering she went through, i have pretty much everything i need in life to survive daily! Lots and lots of food, a pretty nice shelter, a good family, clothes on my back, even people here wanting to read what i have to say, yet i can't help but this all there is?

I've been told by a few people that i am way too intense and i am beginning to believe that about myself. More now than ever. I really need to find a way to chill out and just be...i'm just saying!

Check this out:
I've been working on this:

1. Be present.
2. Lighten up.
3. Take care of yourself.
4. Look for the good.
5. Connect.
6. Speak up.
7. Let go of perfect.
8. Take action.
9. Give without expectation.
10. Make yourself happy.

What more can you ask of yourself really? "keep life kind". SWEET! You know, writing for me is very cathartic. It's almost like detoxing from my bad thoughts. Typing it out and reading it back to myself, it makes me feel so much better. I sweat it all out. It may take some time, but eventually it all gets released and i feel lighter and just a little happier.

Today, i would have been on an airplane to Oregon. It's ok though because i truly feel it wasn't meant to be. Too much stuff happening to go with a happy heart. At two this morning, i read something here online that startled me and made my heart race! What i read, required intense praying and i did just that! I wasn't sure how really, i just did it. So, i've been awake since two. I did my run. Solitary today. Misty, cloudy, extremely humid and very sobering. I came home to somewhat good news and that held me over.

Positive contact. I let go of my anger and went into acceptance mode. I really cannot go into more detail right now, but just know i am working on things. Really hard too! Just ask my dear therapist Liz. Boy oh boy does she tell me like it is. She says i should never write an email when i feel angry. So, what do i do? I write it, and i'm angry. UGH!! I think she knows that i didn't mean it. Do you?

Everything perplexes me lately! It shouldn't because all i need to do is go google and i find my answers! Well anyway, tomorrow should be cool. I just spoke to my friend Anthony and i will be meeting up with him over at lifethyme for some raw treats and good conversation. He always manages to make me feel happy and light.

Come on folks go with me here. In reality i am trying very hard to be happy. You know how it goes. You have your really good days and your really bad days. Are there some days that are just OK? Sure there are! I just always want really good days and i can't grasp the fact that it is not happening for me. Sheesh!! Don't worry, i'm not going to go all Heath Ledger on you and curl up and well you know. Nah, thats so not me! I'm a fighter...i always strive for more. I will continue fighting. I will improve who i am and be a friend. I will love and continue to try to inspire people with my writing. I am not raw yet i am. It's really all a state of mind isn't it?

I love this so much:

The Prophet on Marriage by Khalil Gibran

Then Almitra spoke again and said...
"And what of Marriage, master?"
And he answered saying:
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love. Let it rather be a moving sea between
the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together. For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

this photo is from my good friend Keiko's blog rawketscience i love it, its peaceful!

Floating like a white butterfly! So cool isn't it? Let's all try to float together, OK?

A wise running friend, KC is his name kcstine is his blog, well he left me a very wonderful quote i'd like to share:

I would like to beg you dear Ms, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.

-Rainer Maria Rilke

WOW!!! So, i've never shared my other blog. Can you guess? Yep, its a running blog! Here it is, maybe you wanna check it out, maybe? I am here: runningdowndreams Run there! I'm just saying!

Saturday, July 19, 2008

True Colors....

And I'll see your true colors
shining through
I see your true colors
and that's why I love you
so don't be afraid to let them show
your true colors
true colors are beautiful
like a rainbow

I truly believe that every single human being is born with colors within them. True colors. Not the colors on the outside that you can easily see. The colors deep inside them that always come out at some time or another. Let me see if i can explain. So, you think you know someone really well. You laugh at their jokes and enjoy spending time with that person. Then somehow, life happens...shit happens and you see with your two eyes, seeping out of that person a color. Or two. It's as if a little part of that person decides to show itself to the world and you. Unfortunately, it may not be what you want to see. But, you see it and absorb it into your brain forever. It may be a color you never saw before and never will again. But, that color is now a part of you. You struggle with it, trying to make sense of that true color. It may hurt as you absorb it. Soon anough though, it gets better and then that color is simply a part of your life experiences and you move on!!

Like death and taxes, there is no escaping color. It is everywhere all at the same time. Yet what does it all mean? To me, (and this is just my theory) color is GOD's gift to us humans! Think about it please, how impressive and majestic is witnessing a sunrise? How amazing is watching your smoothie turn a beautiful shade of green as you add spinach to it? How about a head full of red hair glistening in the sun?? I don't know about you, but my brain loves to see color!!!

Here is some of what i've read and what i think as well:

Black is the color of authority and power. It is popular in fashion because it makes people appear thinner. It is also stylish and timeless. Black also implies submission. Priests wear black to signify submission to God. Some fashion experts say a woman wearing black implies submission to men. Black outfits can also be overpowering, or make the wearer seem aloof or evil. Villains, such as Dracula, often wear black.

Brides wear white to symbolize innocence and purity. White reflects light and is considered a summer color. White is popular in decorating and in fashion because it is light, neutral, and goes with everything. However, white shows dirt and is therefore more difficult to keep clean than other colors. Doctors and nurses wear white to imply sterility. So, the great Apple decided on white for their Mac Book! The great raw cool decided on the white one as well. It's so cool, so much fun and i'm loving it. I even go for lessons! Sweet!!!

The most emotionally intense color, red stimulates a faster heartbeat and breathing. It is also the color of love. Red clothing gets noticed and makes the wearer appear heavier. Since it is an extreme color, red clothing might not help people in negotiations or confrontations. Red cars are popular targets for thieves.

The most romantic color, pink, is more tranquilizing. Sports teams sometimes paint the locker rooms used by opposing teams bright pink so their opponents will lose energy.

Blue (my favorite color)
The color of the sky and the ocean, blue is one of the most popular colors. It causes the opposite reaction as red. Peaceful, tranquil blue causes the body to produce calming chemicals, so it is often used in bedrooms. Blue can also be cold and depressing. Fashion consultants recommend wearing blue to job interviews because it symbolizes loyalty. People are more productive in blue rooms. How i love to sit on the beach and gaze at the blue ocean and blue sky! I have no words to describe it really.

Currently the most popular decorating color, green symbolizes nature. It is the easiest color on the eye and can improve vision. It is a calming, refreshing color. People waiting to appear on TV sit in "green rooms" to relax. Hospitals often use green because it relaxes patients.

Cheerful sunny yellow is an attention getter. While it is considered an optimistic color, people lose their tempers more often in yellow rooms, and babies will cry more. It is the most difficult color for the eye to take in, so it can be overpowering if overused. Yellow enhances concentration, hence its use for legal pads. It also speeds metabolism. Ok, so i decided to go with yellow for my finger nails today! It was really a no brainer because all the adorable mexican woman working there were loving the fact that i brought my own colors, yellow being one of them! They also all tried it and giggled as i agreed to use it! They gathered around and gave their approval with some enthusiastic clapping!!!

The color of royalty, purple connotes luxury, wealth, and sophistication. It is also feminine and romantic. However, because it is rare in nature, purple can appear artificial. Again, a color i decided on, for my toenails. I am one colorful dude today!!! There is no disputing that!

Solid, reliable brown is the color of earth and is abundant in nature. Light brown implies genuineness while dark brown is similar to wood or leather. Brown can also be sad and wistful. Men are more apt to say brown is one of their favorite colors.

Food for Thought
While blue is one of the most popular colors it is one of the least appetizing. Blue food is rare in nature, except for my favorite blueberries! Food researchers say that when humans searched for food, they learned to avoid toxic or spoiled objects, which were often blue, black, or purple. Green, brown, and red are the most popular food colors. Red is often used in restaurant decorating schemes because it is an appetite stimulant.

So, this last photo, while not easy to establish what color it is, i am proud to say it is a RAW, RAW, RAW, dessert!!! I am so happy that i not only made this, but it was good enough to eat and enjoy! Simple really and not my own recipe! Shannonmarie over at rawdorable actually posted this recipe here: chocolate-cherry-icecream - goneraw!!. Super simple, takes less than 10 minutes to make and so so good! Am i grasping raw again? Maybe!

So, back to colors. I am 100% sure that everybody here reading this remembers using at one time in their school years, crayola crayons!!! My gosh, the crayola 64 pack was so awesome. I remember, i couldn't wait to slowly crack open the box to behold all the magical colors inside!

Just quickly:
Crayola brand crayons were the first kids crayons ever made, invented by cousins, Edwin Binney and C. Harold Smith. The brand's first box of eight Crayola crayons made its debut in 1903. The crayons were sold for a nickel and the colors were black, brown, blue, red, purple, orange, yellow, and green. The word Crayola was created by Alice Stead Binney (wife of Edwin Binney) who took the French words for chalk (craie) and oily

Colors Available
Number of Colors: 8

Colors Available
Number of colors: 120

With colors like sepia, torch red, mango tango and wild blue yonder, its no wonder that crayola crayons are just as or more popular today than ever!!! Kids love to use them...they are able to create things that only their brains can envision and now they can put it on paper!!! SWEET!!!

I don't it me, or do you feel happy when colors light up your life!! Fireworks!! July 4th! I'm just loving it all really!

I wonder folks...what colors are your favorites and be honest, what do you think of my finger nails? Me, it may only last a few days and then i may go for a more subduded look but its summer time and yellow is bright and cheery!! Overpowering...yes agreed! We'll see! I have orange and hot pink to try next!!!

Creativity consists largely of rearranging what we know in order to find out what we do not know."
-- George Kneller

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

1 2 3 4....

Oh my how i wish i had children!! Or at least i wish Feist was around when i was a kid! She wasn't. Nor do i have children. It's just an all around fun video to watch and sing to. Yes, i've sort of memorized the lyrics and yes i even danced around the house to the song...sorry folks, no photos of that!

So first things first. I really want to give a shout outz to my friend Sam over at yardsnacker for his 1 year anniversary of going 100% raw! How friggin cool is that?? Go check out his blog and leave him a congrats message why don't you? He certainly deserves it. His lovely wife Heidi over at hihorosie also has a cool blog that i follow regularly! Wonderful people, always so encouraging and helpful to me. I appreciate that guys!

Now, i want you to hop on over to my good friends blog rawmodel and scroll down to "good out of bad" and just read it. This post, for me not only hit the nail right on the head, but made me realize just how mature and smart Anthony is! I've spent time with him one on one and he is a delight to talk to. Always willing to teach or explain things to me. Read his blog. He's a good man!

So, while things have not necessarily been going right for me, i am trying very hard to make some good out of some bad! If you think about it, its simple really. And believe me, i do a lot of thinking. It's all in the mindset you decide to capture.

First thing i've decided is, well i am a grown up. Grow the frig up already, Michelle! HAHA! Are you for real? Why of course! So, there are many things to take into consideration whilst being a grown up! Definitely make some good out of some bad!!!

"Of course there are some moments that seem to be simply horrendous,
but if we wait long enough things will work out." Absolutely Anthony said it best!! But, the waiting could be horrendous as well ya know? So, i say create things so that the waiting can be way less horrendous and more a learning experience! Writing is a big one for me. I like how the words just flow out of my brain onto the computer monitor. So fast!!! It helps me to keep a keen awareness or perspective on things. A quick penetrating mind so to speak!

Really though, why wait around anyway? I ask i want to just live to die or do i want to live and then die someday in the very very distant future maybe after i've written 3 best selling novels? I wait enough in doctors offices and on line at the bank. It gets old real quick.

There's really so much i want to do. So much i have to do. It's all there for me, i just have to pick and choose and sort through to uncover the richness that is simply living my life.

Sometimes, though i do things without thinking it through first. Not so important things like eating Haagen Dazs icecream too much more permanent things like getting random tattoos impulsively. But then i think, the more you think the less you will end up doing in life. So, where does that lead you??

Well, just today i had a good long time friend "look out" for me. In a caring, amazing way she made me realize my self worth and gave me a wonderful boost to my ego. She knows me and knows my abilities. She's smart and kind and a friend. I would do anything for her. She made me realize that i can really do whatever i set my mind to. And so, i am now pursuing that. (more to come)

I know i've touched on this subject before, but i am sorely lacking in the 100% eating raw department. Last November 2007, when i really got into it and got a juicer as a birthday gift from sista, i had no idea what i was really doing. I just kept reading online and learned so much and for a while i was good. Here's the part that bothers me...i constantly feel as though i failed at being raw. Raw cool - am i? But, and here's the best part...i did lose a total of 35lbs since November and i feel great about that. Sure i run everyday too but its the juicing and green smoothies and eating lots of raw (not 100%) that kick started my weight loss. Don't stop exercsing folks, even if you are 100% raw! You must move, move, move!!! Really just get out there and do something.

I've been out and about. Meeting up with old friends.

Make new friends, but keep the old!
Those are silver, these are gold...

Yeah, i guess! We'll see. I have to wait long enough don't i?

I would love to give a shout outz to my sista Sue! She puts up with all my shit, all the time. What a strong woman she turned out to be. Real smart too! Ok, she doesn't know it all, but she knows enough to know when to be there for me. I guess i realized that family does indeed come first. No matter what! Love ya sista!!! And no, we are not 12 and 14 years old!

I've got a condition for which there is no cure
I'm in a position that everyone prays for
Got a sound in my head that could wake up the dead
Like the who singing Summertime blues
Got no thorn in my side, got no secrets to hide
I'm completeley and utterly amused

I'm alive, I'm alive
It's a beautiful day and I'm happy to say
I'm alive, I'm alive
And wherever I go it's amazing to know
I'm alive

From running fast as fast as I could getting nowhere
I'm standing incedibly steadily somewhere
Got a hand on a jug and a life that I love
and it's driving me out of my mind
I'm a bird on the wing with the world on a string
and I'm feeling incredibly fine

I'm alive, I'm alive
It's a beautiful day and I'm happy to say
I'm alive, I'm alive
And wherever I go it's amazing to know
I'm alive

I'm looking older now than when I was a kid
but feeling younger now than I ever did
and I've got no situations playing tricks upon my mind
I'm feeling christmas in the middle of July

I like these words a lot!!!!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Here comes the sun.....

The upcoming hiking trip is not happening folks. It's definitely for the best. Some unforseen things have happened that need immediate attending to. Life happens. Stuff happens. I totally and completely understand the need to cancel this trip and will probably decide in the near future what to do with all the hiking gear that was purchased. The thing is, mostly all of it was purchased online so it's a bit of a pain in the butt to return things, but hey i have a post office literally 4 minutes away soooooo....

The sun will rise tomorrow. It always does. I feel very positive and happy. I have many things going on right now that also need attending too. That proverbial turning the corner i talked about..

Things have a way of falling into place. Right now, i feel relief and at peace. It's strange because you would think i'd be all upset about not going hiking. Strangely enough, its just the opposite. I feel its for the best. Hey, i said that already didn't i?? Some things are just more important. Actually, most things are more important.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Up is the new Down....!!!!

Lots of stuff happening! The above photo is my new favorite "hood" in Brooklyn! Williamsburg! I do think i mentioned it in a few posts back. This is where i visited the tattoo place..Saved Tattoo!! It's actually quite far from where i live, but i was coming from a therapy session (no comments please :O) ) and so it took only 15 minutes to get there from therapy...I wonder, do i need therapy because i'm getting another tattoo or is it because of therapy that i am getting another tattoo?? NOT!!

This is the exterior of the place! It's quite cool, a big loft space! I know, it looks kinda funky but remember this is a cool hip neighborhood in Brooklyn, NY!

Here's Michelle, she will be doing my tattoo!!
I promise to post a photo when it is all done. Until then, i must keep the secret! Only a few people know. You know who you are friends! I have to admit i was a little aprehensive about going to a new tattoo place. But, my good friend Karen put my mind at ease. Also, once i walked into the place it just felt right! I will probably get this tattoo sometime in early August so check back!

I've been happy. Quietly contemplating my future. I know what has to be done, and i will do my best to get it done. I have people in my little corner helping me and encouraging me so to them i salute and say HOLLA!!! I feel as though i've reached a turning point in my life and i really do need to turn that corner to the other side. Not far, just far enough to make a change. Sometimes, i get scared of changes in my life, but GOD dude is leading the way for me. I like GOD dude!

Hebrews 11:1 says, "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

This doesn't mean assuming that God will work everything out the way I want Him to, but rather that God can be trusted to do what is best and to guide me through.

This is a very nice scripture. I feel it means a lot to ME! Just to do what is best in life. To trust in GOD dude ya know? Hey why not? What do you have to lose, to trust in the Lord...go with it!! There are so many scriptures and i truly believe if you read them, you will always come across one or two of them that will truly speak to you!!

This is how i live now and sort of how most days i feel a calmness come over me! Not all the time, mind you. Believe me, there are days where i am scared, nervous and wondering...when i question things, sometimes to get no answers. No answers at all. But then, it hits me. It comes to me, i do not search it out. The answers hit me in the face! OUCH!! Yeah, sometimes it hurts to know the answers, but most times it calms me and i see things differently.

I know i am doing the right thing (most of the time). Hey, i'm far from perfect, but as long as i live my life in a good way, i can rest easy at night. I have love for my family and friends. Love for the good i see in people. Love for the generosity and kindness i've come to know from so many. It really warms my heart.

I know i started this post out all cool about my tattoo but somehow, this post is evolving even as i type right now. The thoughts just flow and i have to get it down fast.

This morning, after my run i was very tempted to run down the beach to the beckoning ocean, strip off my shirt (sports bra underneath) and run into the water! I was already drenched from sweat, so i thought a nice dip in the ocean would do me good. Then i realized i had my iPod with me and that was really the end of that idea! Why? Because as trusting as i may be with people, i simply didn't trust leaving my iPod on the sand, in my shoes as i swam a bit. Sad, i know but this is the life we live. I so wish it wasn't.

But, i never really ask why??? Why can't i just leave my iPod on the sand? Deep down i know the answers. I just accept it and move on.

Reminds me of a famous quote by Ghandi:
Be the change that you want to see in the world.
How about this one too?
Hate the sin, love the sinner. (thats a hard one, isn't it)
I think my favorite one right now is this:

Nobody can hurt me without my permission!

God bless you Mahatma Ghandi!

So, on to other things...i'm digging oatmeal lately! I mean i'm really loving it for breakfast!! Thanks to my new friend over at on a lobster placemat who puts some neat things on top of her oatmeal. As she says, its all in the toppings! YES!! Not raw, not even close to being raw but nothing wrong with a nice bowl of oatmeal in the morning i always say!!!

Anyway, i know where i can get some really good raw food and treats!! It's a special place and unfortunately i cannot share it just yet. Someday, i hope...

So, up is definitely the new down...things are looking up for me. Up is good!

A picture really is worth 1000 words isn't it? Enjoy my friends!!

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Give me a truth i can believe in.....

Honor, Code, Loyalty!!

I like these words! But can i handle the truth!! You bet i can! Give it to me straight up. I don't really care now do i? Give me a truth i can belive in and grasp! There's too many truths, yet really only one!

I can live my life knowing the truths. Knowing i posess honor and loyalty. For me, there is no other way. I live by a code!

Everyone goes through life learning, trying to adapt and survive. We all have our own set of values and frames of reference on how we tackle any given situation. Here is a shortlist of heartfelt thoughts and items I strive to live by or a personal code of conduct if you will.

1) Live tomorrow’s life today!
2) Never forget to say a simple please, thank you etc.
3) Never use the word ‘Ugly’ or all it’s variations to describe another human being.
4) Always tell the truth, and if you somehow cannot then I rather you be silent.
5) If there is no trust, then there is no relationship.
6) Listen with you ears and your heart, not with your mouth.
7) Choose your battles wisely, not all battles are worth fighting for nor are some even ‘battles’ to begin with.
8)If you do decide to engage in a battle, be prepared to lose. For no one ever truly wins in a battle.
9) Life is simple, it is man that makes it complicated.
10)You can only grow and move forward in life when you constantly challenge yourself.
11) Be grateful.
12) Happiness is not a state of being elated or high on life but rather it comes with inner peace and contentment.
13) Be humble.
14) The more you give, the more you receive.
15) Be the last to raise your voice
16) Count to ten, (once I have collected my wits and calm down, I can find an appropriate response)
17. Failing is fine. Aiming for second best isnt.
18) Dont dwell in the past (Live here. Live now. Live in this moment)
19) If you cant say anything nice, dont say anything at all. (REAL IMPORTANT)
19) Go that extra step in trying to please or help somebody

Welcome to my Life
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Sure, i find all the depressing songs don't i? But, you know this song speaks to me and i will go with it.

Why should i feel crappy all the time? It's insane isn't it? I know that what i do and how i live is right for me. If others think differently so be it. Everything i do makes sense to me. I will not ask for acceptence because i accept myself. I will not ask for opinions because only my opinion counts for me! I will be who i am and not change.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Geek in the Pink.....

Yo, Brotha A to z,
Yo, wussup B,
Yo, What time is it?

Ha-ha, It's laundry day!
I don't care what you might think about me
You'll get by without me if you want
Don't judge it by the color, confuse it for another
You might regret what you let slip away

like the geek in the pink
well like the geek in the pink, yeah

So, my inner geekness is finally coming out!! I've held it in a bit, but i've decided just today that i must embrace it and admit it to the world! I can't fight it anymore! My geekness. It's not even inner geekness. It's like right out in your face geekness. I don't like to use the word nerd to describe what i'm about. I perfer to go by dork and or geek! So, next time you need to contact me, please remember that!!

Ok, first things first! I love the show The Closer. Deputy Chief Brenda Johnson is my new hero!!! She is a charming character portrayed by Kyra Sedgewick, who looks like she's in over her head and a mess, but never really is. You won't like her much at first, then she'll start to grow on you and you can't wait for the next episodes. She plays Brenda Lee Johnson brilliantly!! I just love her quirky mannerisms and quick wit! But, the best part of Brenda Johnson is this: She hides ring dings in her drawer in her office!!! Last episode of season 1...she closes her case, finds out that her staff really likes her so she goes smiling into her office, closes the door, pulls down the shades and sits down on her desk!! Still smiling she slowly opens the drawer, fiddles around till she finds that ring ding and eats that sucker!! WOOHOO!!!

Once upon a time (can only happen to me)...last week when i was in Starbucks in the evening i ordered an iced tea...then i sat down in the comfy chair and there was a table right there so i put my drink on it...also on the table were 2 cups from others that weren't thrown somehow i got preoccupied with my ipod and went to take my iced tea to drink, i pick up the cup, take a sip from the straw and realize hmmm this doesn't taste like ice tea at all, it was warm and sweet like vanilla...i look up and see that i am holding one of the OTHER CUPS from the table... i drank from a total strangers cup....SO, i immediately ran over to the napkins, (i didn't swallow what was in my mouth) and i spit it into the napkin, the napkin didn't hold what i spit and it went all over the floor, then i took another napkin and wiped my mouth out and my lips too!!! I was so so so grossed out!!! UGH!!! :O)
Moral of story: Always look before you put something in your mouth!!!!

Another story:
Once upon a time, Geek Michelle needed to drive somewhere! See her amazingly cool car? She opened the door, got in, then somehow (not certain) she slammed the car door on her left index finger!!! OUCH!!!!! Then Geek Michelle sat there for 5 seconds wondering why she was in pain and where that pain was coming from?? She tried to open the door with her LEFT hand but somehow she couldn't! It seemed to be, hmmm stuck! Finally, realizing this, she used her right hand to open the car door! Geek Michelle couldn't have been more geeky at the very moment in time!! Geek Michelle's finger is OK, thank you very much.

KISS MY FACE!!! HA, got your attention huh?

I am obsessed with this product!! First of all, the name alone Peaceful Patchouli should send signals to your brain right away!!! It's a shower gel, yet its so much more!!
Patchouli: uplifting, clarifying, balancing
Allantoin: from Comfrey Root, healing and soothing
Olive Oil: superb moisturizer for all skin types
Don't know about you, but i always want to be uplifted, clarified, balanced, healed, soothed and moisturized when showering!! Come on, i bet you do too!!

So, what do you think so far? Am i embracing my inner geek? I think that the term "geek" has a lot broader usage than people are giving it credit for. It is not just about technology or science fiction. A geek is just someone who is passionate to an extreme about something. After all, it is possible to be a music geek, a movie geek, etc. That is why people are proud to be geeks. I have had this conversation with friends on a number of occasions as we are all proud to be geeks.

I love gadgets and tech stuff yet i know practically nothing about working a computer from the inside out! I can do "stuff" on the computer but if it crashes or breaks down on me, i'm f--ked! But there are some who are more gadget oriented than i am! They carry portable organizers and other devices such as Blackberries around. In the car they rely on GPS for trips across town. I would consider these people geeks. But once portable devices becomes more common place like carrying your wallet around, I wouldn't consider them geeks any more.

I use a computer regularly. Checks my bank statements, E-mails online and update my 2 blogs usually every other day!! I carry a cellphone and ipod around at all times!!! Oh and my digital camera, a small cute black one! Kinda more toyish than real photographer style camera!

I grew up in the 70's. When bell bottoms were in style. When "disco" was all the rage! I was very naive and innocent back then. Sadly, i still am naive and innocent in the year 2008!

I think i may be to sentimental at times and way to mushy! I need to toughen up. Show the world who is boss. Shyly and geekly but still show the world. It can be done...

I am going to admit something here. Raw cool, while still very very cool is not so very very raw!!! Yeah, its bad. I'm not sure at this point, if i am going to go 100% raw. At all. I enjoy food and i cannot seem to give up certain things. It just tastes too good. Plus, i'm healthy. 125lbs down from 160lbs. Maybe, just maybe what i am doing now is working FOR ME!!

If i was to give a percentage i would guess i am somewhere around 50/50 at this point. Is the geek factor rising or ebbing now? I did just receive a shipment of BTR Nut butters. I will dig into each jar later. Pecan cashew butter, Pine nut butter and Mac-Cashew butter! YUM!! I do the whole Vitamineral green, spirilina, MSM, Maca thing too! Hey why not? Fruit is a staple of my diet! Those juicy white peaches and blackberries can't be beat! I wanna forage too!! So, i know things!

I don't feel like a failure. I am so very glad i learned about raw and i have made many wonderful friends. Sam, Heidi, Kristen, Sue, all my running buddies, Debs, you all know who you are and i appreciate all of your encouraging and wonderful comments here. I never in my wildest dreams thought that anybody would even want to read my blog!!! I'm humbled and even a tear or two may fall.

I know that by admiting that i am not 100% raw and may never be, i will be respected. Its not geeky to pretend you are something your clearly not. It's geeky to be 100% honest. I know that is what i have to do to keep up this blog. Be myself, be honest, be funny and most of all be geeky!!!

So, Jason Mraz! He's pretty cool and is a raw foodist. I've been a fan for a while now and when i read over at We like it raw that not only is he a raw foodist, the dude has an avocodo farm!! Whats up with that?? You should all definitely check out his fabulous blog freshness factor five thousand. It's the bomb for sure!!! He writes his blog as if he's writing a song. Lyrical and funny and light! Please check out his new CD We sing, We dance, We steal things! Its really good and fun! One of my favorites on that CD is this:

The Dynamo of Volition
1: an act of making a choice or decision...Volition means! So, Jason my friend is The Dynamo of making a decision!!! I wanna be a dynamo of volition too!!! Someday! Soon i hope!

I am also thinking of changing the look of my blog. Not sure yet though. Any thoughts? I have been very interested in purusing food blogs. Photos of food, descriptions of food, recipes...i've included some of the blogs i've been looking at in my blog roll. Check them out.

I am also getting another tattoo! YES, the geek in pink is getting more ink! I won't reveal the idea yet though. It's just in the consultation stage right now. I can tell you, i am going here Saved tattoo in the hip hood of Williamsburg, Brooklyn. I will be seeking out the services of the artist Michelle!

The geek in pink is doing major running! Well if you call running 5 miles major than heck yeah!! I'm like a running advertisment for Nike:

Just do it! Whatever IT may be for you! Focus on what you want to accomplish and how you want it to happen! Manifest, pray, skip, whatever works for you!!! JUST DO IT!!! This is your life folks. You do not get a do over!! So, you have to work with what GOD dude has given to you. Could be beauty. Could be brains. Could be both!! Or none! Who cares really...I don't know, maybe i think too much. I was told i have too much time on my hands. So, lots of time to think. But, i'm a good thinker! See, i'm good at something!!! What i'm trying to say is that everybody is good at something.

Me? I'm a good runner and thinker! I'm also very sweet and a good friend. I'm also a geek. But, i'm good at being a geek. I embrace my inner geekness to the one hundredth degree! I am so damn good at being a geek..

Here is a cool quote i am stealing from a friends blog:
"Nothing is lost upon a man who is bent upon growth; nothing wasted on one who is always preparing for - life by keeping eyes, mind and heart open to nature, men, books, experience - and what he gathers serves him at unexpected moments in unforeseen ways."

— Hamilton Wright Mabie

Bent upon growth! Keeping eyes, mind, heart open!! To experiences! That pretty much says it all, i think!!

So, for July 4th i'd like to include one last video that i think is appropriate:

Neil the man!
Weve been travelling far
Without a home
But not without a star

Only want to be free
We huddle close
Hang on to a dream

On the boats and on the planes
Theyre coming to america
Never looking back again
Theyre coming to america

Home, dont it seem so far away
Oh, were travelling light today
In the eye of the storm
In the eye of the storm

Home, to a new and a shiny place
Make our bed, and well say grace
Freedoms light burning warm
Freedoms light burning warm

Everywhere around the world
Theyre coming to america
Every time that flags unfurled
Theyre coming to america

Got a dream to take them there
Theyre coming to america
Got a dream theyve come to share
Theyre coming to america

Theyre coming to america
Theyre coming to america
Theyre coming to america
Theyre coming to america
Today, today, today, today, today

My country tis of thee
Sweet land of liberty
Of thee I sing
Of thee I sing
Happy Independence Day my friends! I love you all!!