Thursday, January 31, 2008

I love you or i love my avocados!!!

uccello curioso

So, i came across these wonderful handmade cards! Go to the site and take a look! This is the one i would send to my peeps! Which one do you like??? Perfect for Feb 14th don't ya think?

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

In Treatment! I don't think anybody looks good when they're sad!

A therapist doesn’t heal, he lets healing be.

In Treatment is based on the critically-acclaimed Israeli series of the same name and features Gabriel Byrnes in the lead role. Gabriel plays a therapist who sees a new patient each day (Monday - Thursday) and then his own therapist on Friday. There are a million ways to watch this show - Just watch Laura's storyline on Mondays, watch all the episodes, Watch Alex on Tuesday and Gabriel's sesson on Friday... What do you think about the concept of a show that gives you a look behind the therapy curtain? What do you think about HBO having a show on Monday - Friday?

Premiered Monday at 9:30 p.m. EST, the series finds him meeting with Laura (Melissa George), a beautiful young anesthesiologist who wants more from Weston than therapy. Tuesday, he's in session with Alex (Blair Underwood), a brash Navy pilot who's recently been grounded. Wednesday's patient is 16-year-old Sophie (Mia Wasikowska), an aspiring Olympic gymnast who may or may not be suicidal. Thursday, he has couples counseling with Jake (Josh Charles) and Amy (Embeth Davidtz), who are bitterly feuding over whether she should terminate her pregnancy.

There's more: Paul's home life and his marriage to Kate (Michelle Forbes) are in crisis. No wonder he is driven to seek counsel from a former colleague, Dr. Gina Toll (Dianne Wiest), where he can be found on Friday's episode.

I, myself am finding In Treatment to be fascinating television. HBO has done it again in this groundbreaking series. Being in therapy myself, i am throughly intriqued and find myself looking forward to the "sessions". I sort of wonder if i am "good" at therapy?? My therapist, Liz is wonderful. Very patient and not at all condescending. I look forward to my weekly sessions!

If you like a lot of "action" in the shows you watch then you probably won't like the show. It's literally just two people talking for a whole episode. All the "action" that you experience in this series comes from the stories that the patients tell. I found the vicarious experience to be fascinating though because of the weight of emotion that the actors give to not only the retelling, but also in the way they react to the replies of the therapist (Gabriel Byrne).

Let's see how In Treatment is played out over the next 9 weeks! Should be an interesting ride for sure!!! Check out Dr Paul with his own therapist Gina!! Interesting stuff!!!

It's time to change, time to rearrange!!

Well folks time is drawing near!! Global juice feast 2008! I will be participating in the juice feast starting March 1, 2008. It is rather daunting right now to me because i do not know what to expect. Unfortunately, i am unable to juice feast for the full 92 days because of religious holidays but i will definitely do it for about 30-40 days. I think i am going to start a new blog just to document my feast. Not sure yet though about that. I may just document it all here. So, here are a few blogs that i've been following. Some are deep into their juice feast and others just started....Matt Monarch is just inspiring in his own way! His blog is very interesting!


Inspiration Life

Matt Monarch

I will be blogging about the juice feast as it comes closer to the time to start! It's definitely an exciting prospect in my life. A chance to start a new! Spiritually, emotionally, physically..its all there!

I will keep you posted!!

Something amazingly amazing!!!!

Is this GOD at work? Because if so, GOD ROCKS!!! At least today he/she does!!

Lets think of some awesome fitting names for this little amazement!! Post comments here and let me know!!!

Tact is for people not witty enough to use sarcasm...

I am nerdier than 33% of all people. Are you a nerd? Click here to find out!

Ok, here is Wikpedia's definition of a nerd.....Nerd is a term often bearing a derogatory connotation or stereotype, that refers to a person who passionately pursues intellectual activities or esoteric knowledge rather than engaging in more social activities. Therefore, a nerd is often excluded from physical activity and considered a loner by peers.

Dr Suess and the nerd....If I Ran the Zoo is a children's book written by Dr. Seuss in 1950.

If I Ran the Zoo is credited with inventing the word "Nerd" with the sentence "And then, just to show them, I'll sail to Ka-Troo/And Bring Back an It-Kutch a Preep and a Proo/A Nerkle a Nerd and a Seersucker, too!"

Understand what being a nerd means. A nerd is someone intelligent, individual, and nonconformist; an intelligent but single-minded expert in a particular technical field or profession. (Many people thought of as "punk" are actually nerds in disguise.) A geek is someone known for their obsession(s) with one or more things, not necessarily academic or intellectually stimulating. A nerd is invariably a geek. But not all geeks are nerds. A dork is a socially inept person. It is NOT a good thing to be a dork. A loser, contrary to popular belief, is not the category that nerds, geeks, and dorks fall under. A loser is someone who thinks they're cool but is really just a bully.

Here are my instructions on becoming a nerd, being a nerd and living like a nerd:

Learn. Just learn. Read everything you can get your hands on, including reference books and encyclopedias. Watch PBS, the history channel, the science channel, etc. Read the newspaper and watch the news. Go to Wikipedia once a month and click on "Random Article". Most likely it will turn out to be historical and genealogical information about some remote Scottish village. Great. Read it all. Keep your bookshelf stocked with more non-fiction than fiction. Whenever you don't know the meaning of a word, look it up.

Read books. They will make you smarter. All of sci-fi and most of fantasy are nerdy. Non-fiction, especially on historical topics no one has heard of, is nerdy. Read computer manuals, well, manuals in general. Math textbooks are good. Subscribe to a specialty magazine or journal. Read them from cover to cover and in each issue pick out three words you've never heard of before. Memorize these and try to use them often.

Increase your vocabulary, and use it! Don't get wordy, but substitute little words (jumped, typed) for better ones (lunged, hammered the keyboard frenziedly). Make SURE you only use your brainy words when it is appropriate, or you'll look like a show off (and therefore a loser; NOT good). Make sure there's someone around to appreciate your vocabulary.

Become an "expert" on certain topics. Notice the aforementioned topics? Talk about them, but stop when you can tell someone is getting bored and let them talk about their own interests. Become more informed than others on certain topics. Don't just play the computer game; know all the designers, and the characters' back stories. Make sure that everyone you know, knows you know these things. Also, use as much of the subject's unique vocabulary as possible. Use a google of jargon, but be ready to give a definition when asked.

Find friends with similar interests. Not all nerds have only nerdy friends, but it may help you to fit in with other nerds if you learn to play some stereotypically nerdy games and watch stereotypically nerdy movies and TV. At the same time, have a few friends who are anything BUT nerds. This'll make sure you're skillful socially and aren't just trying to withdraw. Teach them a few things, and who knows? Maybe they'll know something important that you don't!

Dress uniquely. This can be as extreme as suspenders and high-waters, or if that's too much, just buy some tee-shirts that make reference to obscure or computer related things. Also, always wear a digital watch. Or get the best of both worlds, get a binary wristwatch. Be sure you know how to read it quickly, or you will look like a buffoon. The alternative to dressing nicely is to not care how you dress. (This can make you into a nerd too, because in general, nerds don't care about appearance.)

Ponder everything. If at any point you're not pondering, you need to try harder. Question yourself first and the world around you. Don't be afraid to ask others for their answer. Be ready to accept it and even adopt it if it's better than yours
Be aware of your surroundings Never hang out where lots of people are. Again most nerds are anti-social.

Warnings: If you are a guy: Female nerds are in short supply, get used to it.

Not everyone in your life will relish your nerdiness. Some may even taunt, boo, or try to convince you that no, you have it wrong—nerds actually are uncool. Whatever you do, do not listen to these idiots.
Don't be a know-it-all ALL the time! If you have to point out a mistake or a faulty logic, do it politely and discretely.
Nerds are usually very unsocial. Lack of eye-contact and shoe-shopping-talk may be convincing.

Things You'll Need:

Glasses. If vision correction is in fact unnecessary, get glass glasses or wire frames. A large white cellophane tape to connect the two frames together is not neccesary but recommended.
Hair tie. For girls, this is quintessential when reading.
Pens. At least five are needed. No, the stereotypical pens-in-shirt-pocket-gig is not used anymore; in fact, it is quite frowned-upon in nerdier circles. You should probably keep your pens in the spiral of a spiral-bound notebook, or perhaps one tucked behind your ear and the rest in a discreet pencil bag. For girls with long hair, you can also use a pen as a hair-stick, instant accessibility.

Be able to enjoy your new life style.

I actually want to be a nerd because in my mind nerds are way cool!!!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Deep thoughts by Sue!

"I guess too much activity after too much inactivity."

"so put on a bandaid and suck it up…"

Let's leave it at that!

Running for my life!

Well, today is the day i started exercising! I simply cannot tell you the joy and elation i feel. The runners high is not a myth. Its real, i am here to tell you that! So, i started out walking 1/4 of a mile. I then proceeded to run, slow...very slow but i completed 2 miles in 25.50. Thats slow i know. But, as i progress my times will drop. I am not looking any further than 2-3 miles a day. If i can maintain that i will be very happy.

So, i have to thank a few people. First and foremost is my dear sister Sue. She always encourages me and gently suggests i get out there. Ditto for my mom. Also, Liz. What can i say! She gives me advice. Whether i follow it is up to me. So, i followed her advice this time. Thanks Liz!

I'm smiling inside!

Monday, January 28, 2008

Does anybody even read my blog?

So, does anybody even read my blog??? Sometimes i wonder ya know?

Yes, i can be like that! Very picky about how my blog looks. I even enlisted the help of a good friend who then referred me to his good friend.

So, i'm having a bit of trouble designing my blog. I want a spectacular header! Yes, i do. I want something that pops and attracts visitors. I've gotten a bit of feedback from some people and its all good.

Let me try to tell you what i want this blog to become. Well, first off, different from every other blog. Just creative and interesting and funny and educating all at the same time. Lots about the music that i love and the new music i discover. Some videos. Stuff about food and what i eat! Posts about my ongoing therapy..maybe once a week on that. So all that and more...

But, right now i feel like that little person above who lost her icecream.

So, some feedback folks. Just a comment to let me know you were here! Thats it.

Love me, Love my ipod playlist

Black ipod nano - 1000 songs
Michelle's itunes library - 2153 songs

So, here lies my dilemma. I think you all can see why right?

Here is what i currently have: a sleek beautiful black nano! I do love it and i take it everywhere i go. But then there is the "dilemma".

The new white "classic" is lovely. Holds about 20,000! Mind boggling to me. It is a little bigger than my very small nano but thats OK i suppose.

So, last but certainly not least is the very very cool looking ipod touch! Very similiar in looks to the iphone its just really adorable.

I realize that the ipod is just a diminutive electronic device but it is my diminutive electronic device that plays music that i love! Decisions to make here! Anybody wanna help with suggestions, i would love that!

Sunday, January 27, 2008

The Costanza Wallet....

George Costanza's wallet

Referring to the Seinfeld episode where George's wallet was so overstuffed with junk that it made him sit at a tilt with it in his back pocket; forcing him to even it out by stuffing his other back pocket with napkins. Eventually, the wallet exceeds maximum density and explodes on the street in a shower of cash and receipts.

Hey! Don't over stuff that or it'll go like George Costanza's wallet!

George: Oh, so now I have to buy the whole chair by myself?
Jerry: No, you don't have to buy anything.
George: I already bought it! I've been lying to you for three days and now you're all screwin' me!
Jerry: I don't understand. Why didn't you tell us you had it?
George: I needed it. My back is...a little tweaked.
Jerry: Because of your giant wallet. Just get rid of it.
George: Never! It is a part of me. I will just return the chair, and it will be easy, because the receipt is in my good friend.
Jerry: Your good friend is morbidly obese.

This is purely classic. May i say that i have known many people in my day to overstuff their wallets resulting in the above Costanza wallet. It's not pretty! So, i slimlined everything i own. My wallet is filled with just the right amount of "stuff" that i need. No overstuffing no matter what! (part of my quest to feel lighter is to carry less things)...I so remember that scene in Seinfeld when George is running through the streets of Manhattan trying to retrieve all of his Constanza wallets important papers. Just makes me smile thinking of it!

So, the weekend!

Well, it was low key and quick! Saturday was spent blogging, movie watching, phone talking, music listening, email writing and eating! Well, when i say eating i mean to say thinking about eating and then taking tiny bites of things that i deem not fattening! It's the only way to go i think!

Sunday was spent driving, shopping, waiting on lines, some more driving, and then of course eating...well, when i say eating i mean sitting in a favorite restaurant and hoping i don't overeat!!! I did not! Carrot cake was ordered and not a drop of it did i touch!!! I am proud of myself so i gave myself a pat on the back. My mom and cousin both think i did not eat enough! HA! Little do they could have gone much worse.

So, yeah there you have it! It was fun i guess! Hello Monday!

Saturday, January 26, 2008

You are my sister! For Sue!

Antony and the are my sister is a wonderful song! So, Sue this is for you!!! (sorry for being mushy but it really is nice)

You are my sister, we were born
So innocent, so full of need
There were times we were friends but times I was so cruel
Each night I'd ask for you to watch me as I sleep
I was so afraid of the night
You seemed to move through the places that I feared
You lived inside my world so softly
Protected only by the kindness of your nature
You are my sister
And I love you
May all of your dreams come true
We felt so differently then
So similar over the years
The way we laugh the way we experience pain
So many memories
But theres nothing left to gain from remembering
Faces and worlds that no one else will ever know
You are my sister
And I love you
May all of your dreams come true
I want this for you
They're gonna come true (gonna come true)

Dates!!!! And i am not talking about the kind of dates that involve dinner and a movie!!!!

So i am officially hooked on dates!!! First i tried the store bought kinda dried dates and i thought they were the cats pajamas! Then, after reading tons of blogs and raw websites i discovered there is a whole other world of dates out there!!!! I found . This man is a GOD! I ordered 2 lbs of medjool dates!!! They are big, juicy, sweet and just delicious!!! A worthy treat for any raw foodie! Then, Steve emailed me about the heavenly Barhi Date!!!! So, i swiftly ordered 2 lbs for myself and 2 lbs for them today!!! They are sticky, sweet, small, melt in your mouth delish!!!! I like this description:

The Barhi Date is the sweetest and softest of all dates. Frozen they are like caramel candy.

Yep, that says it all!!!! Many creatures enjoy dates. From tiny insects to birds and mammals, this is something we share in common. They are extremely nutritious, higher in potassium than bananas, also rich in iron, calcium and vitamins. If you are looking to balance your acid/alkaline state, dates are more alkaline than almost any other food. One of the stumbling blocks to the raw food diet can be just not having enough high quality food around. So often fruit bought at the store can be disappointing because it was picked before it was totally ripe. Dates are normally harvested fully ripe with full sugar content, and are available most months out of the year. For those aspiring to the ideal of the raw vegan diet, dates are your best option as a sweetener. With 60% pure sugar, they are the most concentrated source of sugar found on any plant. They make just about any raw food creation taste better, especially desserts and smoothies. Sweeeet.

So, if you are interested in trying dates why don't you email Steve at !!! He's very accomadating!!!

Finally, the best thing about dates is their great taste! Enjoy!

Friday, January 25, 2008

Question here???

Reston, Virginia....Who are you? Innocent question!

Raw Spirit Festival....i wanna go!!!

Read about it here:
Raw Spirit Festival

So, i really would love to attend this festival! It just sounds so new age and wonderful. Plus lots of east coast raw foodies will be there. Philip, Anthony plus a whole bunch more. I mean yeah i haven't even been to PF&W yet but that will come with time. I think some people are meeting next Saturday for a lunch at Bonobos so i want to attend that as well.

I would love to have my sister Sue attend with me but i am not too sure she would be into it. It would be lovely though if she was!

Folks, the food you see above is NOT COOKED!!! This is raw food at its best! Easily copied in recipes!! DROOL!!!!!!!!

So, folks read up and let me know what you all think!!!

Jewish Penicillin....

Ok, well i admit, i love homemade chicken soup. It's far from raw but its something i crave very infrequently so i decided to make this soup with my mom. I figured this would be a good bonding session for us both and it was! I won't repeat the recipe here but its quite simple actually. It's imperative to impart just the right amount of seasoning to the soup. Of course the chicken itself gives off a wonderful flavor into the broth. I cannot believe how simple this soup is to make. I decided to add some cooked noodles to the broth later to make it more of a meal. So, it will be a chicken noodle soup. Anyway, let me impart to you the restorative features of chicken soup. First a definition:

Jewish Penicillin (from urban dictionary)

Tasty Matza Ball Soup.
Mamascheinz if you are farshtupped have some Jewish Penicillin, and your keppie will clear up.

Jewish Penicillin: (from

Chicken soup. If not really a form of penicillin, chicken soup may, in fact, have some therapeutic merit.
We all know that Chicken Soup has a long held tradition of curing the common cold and flu. After all, Mom and Grandma have been saying that forever.
But what can chicken soup accomplish?
Dr. Stephen Rennard, a specialist in pulmonary medicine, put his wife's grandmother's chicken soup recipe to the test. He concluded that chicken soup actually has a mild medicinal effect, inhibiting inflammation of the cells in the nasal passage, reducing the symptoms of a cold.
So chicken soup really can help you get better!

It should be added that to benefit from Jewish Penicillin,one need not be Jewish.

The Bucket List...

So, i just read with interest Kris Carr's lastest blog post. It is about The Bucket List. The movie, and what it meant to her!!!

She says: "Have any of you seen the film? Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman's characters get the news that they're going to die of cancer, and soon, they set out to do all the things they always wanted to do before they kicked the bucket-- skydive, climb Everest, see the Pyramids, travel the world. Sounds like a blast! And yet there are also so many great adventures to take on the inward bound journey as well. Are they mutually exclusive? No. But can you truly see the pyramids if your lens is fogged? The most breath-taking sunrise will blur if you only see metastatic bleakness in your minds eye. Do ya know what I mean? Have you ever been to the coolest party, in your honor perhaps, and been 1000 miles away?

If you had 6 months to live and all of the money in the world what would you do before you died?

So, i was thinking...what about making my own "bucket list" or as Kris says a "life list".

Here are some of the things on my "list"

Attend the Raw Spirit Festival
Spend 2 weeks at Hippocrates
Participate in the global juice feast
Travel more
Update my blog daily
Be peaceful
Get another tattoo
Write a book
To get to know at least one new person a week.
Swim with dolphins
Attend the superbowl
Write the scariest psychological thriller
Make my home into a beautiful place to visit
Truly be in love with someone totally, trusting in them 100% and creating a large family.

So, whats on your "life list"

I leave you with a poem i found (i do not know the author)

If I were told: By evening you will die.

So what will you do until then?

I would look at my wristwatch,

I’d drink a glass of juice

bite an apple,

contemplate at length an ant that has found it’s food,

Then look at my wristwatch.

There’d be time left to shave my beard

and dive in a bath, obsess:

“There must be an adornment for writing,

so let it be a blue garment.”

I’d sit until noon alive at my desk

but wouldn’t see the trace of color in the words,

white, white, white …

I’d prepare my last lunch

pour wine in two glasses: One for me

and one for the one who will come without appointment,

then I’d take a nap between two dreams.

But my snoring would wake me …

so I’d look at my wristwatch:

and there’d be time for reading.

I’d read a chapter in Dante and half of a mu’allaqah

and see how my life goes from me

to the others, but I wouldn’t ask who

would fill what’s missing in it.

That’s it, then?

That’s it, that’s it.

Then what?

Then I’d comb my hair and throw away the poem …

this poem, in the trash,

and put the latest fashion in Italian shirts,

parade myself in an entourage of Spanish violins,

and walk to the grave!

Thursday, January 24, 2008

So, i was looking for new music and came across the group Days! Days myspace. Check them out at their myspace page!

I found this video tonight and I'd never seen it before, and it's so so wonderful! Anyway, "Downhill" is a fantastic song, and this video is brilliant, so... watch it!

Maybe leave a comment and let me know what you think!

Hypnic Jerks!

So, this happens to me all the time...

You're just about to drift off into a deep sleep when suddenly you feel like you're falling or rolling downhill on a roller coaster. Then your body jerks suddenly and you're awake. Weird! What's going on?
This body movement, also known as a sleep start, is what doctors and scientists call a hypnic (say: hip-nik) or myoclonic (say: my-uh-klah-nik) jerk.
These jerks usually occur before you enter the deeper stages of sleep and are completely normal. Doctors and scientists aren't really sure why they happen, but they have a few theories.
One theory is that your brain misunderstands the sensation of your muscles relaxing as you drift off to sleep. It's normal for the muscles to relax, but the brain gets confused, and, for a minute, thinks you're falling. In response, the brain causes your muscles to tense up so you "catch yourself" before you fall down.
These jerks can wake a person up, or the person might just keep on sleeping. They're nothing to worry about, so if one of them wakes you up, snuggle back under your quilt, and try to catch some more ZZZs!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Hooked on phonics!

Well, its out there floating somewhere! The idea! My idea! I want to write a book. (Big sigh)...yes i've been pondering this for a very long time. Never said it outloud though. I have so much in my head that i think needs to come out. It would be very cathartic for me. So, the only person i mentioned my idea to is Liz and she feels its an excellent idea. I guess what she thinks is important to me so i feel good about what she said. I need a change. I made changes in my lifestyle and thats awesome but i need more!! I love books, whether its self help, novels, poetry, Raw lifestyle, i love it all. So, i can do this!! They say the way to start writing is to, well just write!! See where that takes you. And so, i shall start. And so, i shall keep you posted!!!

Word of the day!!!!

Blacking Out::

Megan is blacking out Brent because he was acting like a dick. She don't play that!

To turn off any device that people can reach you with (cell phone, two-way, computer, home phone, morse code, etc.) in order to avoid a certain someone.

All my heroes are weirdos?

I have a tendency to idolize certain people only to find out later that they are, well hmmm weirdos! Where do these people come from you ask? All walks of life, i answer. I'm thinking i may have to build a protective barrier around myself and carry it where ever i go! It's doable. Plus, it keeps out the germs!! Thats important! So, don't forget to wash your hands at least 1 minute lots ot times a day!! Anyway, i'm thinking something like this: It's called a Yurt!

A Yurt is a portable, felt-covered, wood lattice-framed dwelling structure used by nomads in the steppes of Central Asia.

Of course, i am not sure i can carry it around, i believe it's meant to be stationary. Right? Should i build it and decorate it myself or should i call in an interior decorator? Gosh, lots to think about...YURT!! It's the only way to keep the weirdos out!!!!!!

Really cool video by Arcade Fire...Neon Bible

Working with director Vincent Morisset, the band created a sharp interactive video piece for the album's title track. It's a chance to go eyeball-to-eyeball with Win Butler as he sings, and you can fiddle with everything on the screen to produce different results with each play. You can play with his hands, move various objects, and touch his head to get a quote of whatever lyric he happens to be voicing at the moment. The art direction suits the mood of the song-- all high contrast black-and-white, and Butler with his thick 1940s-era collar. It has a mood. It's an entertaining piece, for a few go-arounds, certainly; a cut above the usual video on YouTube. The link is below; see what you think.

The Arcade Fire: "Neon Bible"

A new wonderful friend of mine!

I would like to take the time to write a little bit about a friend. His name is Duane and he is a survivor of Hodgins disease. He is brave and determined. Always helpful and talented. He just touched my heart and made me see that a positive attitude and a fighting personality is the way to go with cancer. He has a terrific blog that you can read here

It's awesome! He is a photographer currently undergoing a project to photograph the Harlem River bridges. I know this will be a book someday!

So, here's to you Duane! Love Ya!

R.I.P. Heath

January 23, 2008 -- Oscar-nominated actor Heath Ledger was found naked and dead at the foot of his bed in his SoHo apartment yesterday after he apparently overdosed on anti-anxiety pills.

The 28-year-old star's ex-fiancée, actress Michelle Williams, was flying to New York from Sweden with their 2-year-old daughter, Matilda, her father said.

"It has just broken everybody's heart in my family," Larry Williams, Michelle's dad, told The Daily Telegraph in Australia.

"My heart goes out to everyone, his family, my family, we are just very saddened. The saddest thing is his daughter, whom he just loved dearly."

While some sources said Ledger was depressed, the actor's father, Kim, released a statement declaring his son's death "accidental."

One cop at the scene said it did not appear to be suicide, but police were still investigating, and an autopsy is scheduled for today.

Ledger was found by his maid, Theresa Solomon, 56, and masseuse Diane Lee, 40, with whom he had a scheduled 3 p.m. appointment at his $23,000-a-month, three-bedroom loft at 421 Broome St.

When the two women entered his bedroom at about 3:20 p.m., Ledger was nude, lying face down and unresponsive, police sources said.

Pills were strewn around the bed, and there was a bottle next to the actor's body, police sources said.

The maid and therapist called 911 at 3:26 p.m. Emergency workers were unable to revive the star and he was pronounced dead at 3:35.

Bottles of the generic forms of Xanax and Valium, both anti-anxiety drugs prescribed in his name, were found in the house, according to law-enforcement sources. The sleeping pill Ambien was also found near his body, sources said.

Found on his nightstand, sources said, was a bottle of Donormyl, an antihistamine used as a sleep aid, and a packet of the drug Zopiclone, also used for insomnia.

The maid said she last heard the star snoring around noon.

"We are investigating the possibility of an overdose," NYPD spokesman Paul Browne said.

"There were pills within the vicinity of the bed."

One police source said "it does not appear to be a suicide."

I feel very sad for Heath and his family! He was, IMHO a great young actor!

R.I.P. Dude!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

My new favorite song!!!!!!

Matt Costa singing doesn't get any better than that! I am feeling europhic!!!!

check out Matt Costa here

He is similar to: here

I love them both!!!

Jack Johnson singing Good People: Man, i am feeling euphoric! Just click and listen and bask in the wonderous words!

Monday, January 21, 2008

Therapy today....

So, i was all set with a topic but somehow it went out the window! I got confused today! Yes, the doctor was in, but i wasn't. I felt rather threatened and shall i say annoyed. I shall. But...i wasn't annoyed at Liz, i was annoyed at myself. I wanted to hide under the chair or take a walk to the park. Yes, i realize it was 15 degrees but hey i had a scarf! I week i will have topics. Yes i will. Or at least 1 important, interesting, juicy, mind boggling topic! I will rock the world of therapy as we know will never be the same! I will never be the same. I will psycho babble with the best of them. I want to get this right, and do no wrong. You know what i'm talking about don't you????


So, i am chunky. I admit it. There's lots to do to become unchunky! I was actually called "chunky". After much thought, i decided i actually like that word. Much better than chubby, fat, obese, plump!

So, here are 2 chunky definitions that i like:

1. chunky (adj.)- to describe someone as a bit on the plump side; slighty tubby

yo she's chunky*

2. chunky: nice, phat, hott, cool, etc.

yo dat shit's chunky*

Either way its a cool word. My favorite definition has to be this:

3. chunky but spunky: chunky but spunky also refers to a slightly overweight person; in this case, spunky is used to reflect the charm or personality of the person.

Kirstie Alley is chunky but funky in appearance, and chunky but spunky in personality. She's really appealing.

Don't get me wrong, i do not intend to remain chunky but spunky! Or chunky or spunky! I'd rather be funky! Ya know, after a while these words kinda look funny to me!

Food cravings and the Green Smoothie!

Well, its happening! At first they came on slowly and insipidly without me really noticing. A thought here, a taste there. A conversation about it would only make it worse. Slowly, it started happening more and more until....without warning i started the food cravings. It's strong now! Bagels, smoked salmon, Russ & daughters homemade cream cheese! Chocolate babka. Oh with just a hint of cinnamon. The list goes on and on. With all thats available to read and look at on the internet it is increasingly easier, with the push of a button to have all of the delicacies delivered right to your front door. Just need that trusty credit card and a bit of imagination. See, i need that green smoothie to act like and satisfy me just like a big puffy warm bagel would. I have to find the right balance of sweetness and greens plus of course flax to infiltrate my taste buds. Make me dance with joy at the sheer genious of the smoothie. Think to myself: woah, that is awesome! You see, food has been on my mind a lot lately! Mostly because i don't really eat too much. So, instead of eating, i think. I want to be raw at least 80% of the time. It's just that babka, its calling me almost every day now!!! :O)
So, check out these pictures! Which one would you choose for breakfast? Should be a no brainer right...GREEN SMOOTHIE!!! Without a doubt. They actually are quite tasty and satisfying. Try it. I shall post recipes later on this week...

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Shuddering past the pepperoni!

Grocery shopping and being 100% raw is always interesting to say the least! I usually try to avoid the meats, chickens and fish sections but ya know, sometimes it just pops out at you!! Also, canned veggies is a nightmare to behold. In all groceries the produce is the first thing you see when you enter. So, enticing and beautiful. Green and red and yellow, sprouts and nuts and seeds! YUM! My cart was full before i left produce. Thats a good thing!!! So, i started my wandering because most of what i eat i now had in my cart. Wandering...kind of in a daze, looking in other people's carts. One older gentleman had something, i'm not quite sure what it was though. It was big, reddish and ugly as all hell!! Upon closer observation i realized it was a big, no i mean very big hunk of some sort of strange looking meat!!! Mostly fatty looking and indescribable. The flesh of a cow perhaps? Maybe pig?? Either way, this man was upsetting to look at because i knew in a few more years he would be dead! So, continuing on my way i came to the spice aisle. Perusing for the cayenne, there it was in all its red glory!! A quick phone call to my very special teacher and i knew which one to buy!! Finally, i happened upon a beautiful and very colorful table with bags and bags full of pepperoni! One thought came to mind, "damn i used to eat that on my pizza"! Today, all thoughts of pizza, pepperoni and anything else cooked is not even really a thought at all. Life at the grocery store will go on today and tomorrow and life in my mind will go on bright, peaceful, happy and lighter!!!

Fuck You!!!

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck". It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.

In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories.

It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John).
It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck).
It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful) or an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary).
It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, fuck she's also stupid).
As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "fuck". Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations...

Greetings "How the fuck are ya?"
Fraud "I got fucked by the car dealer."
Resignation "Oh, fuck it!"
Trouble "I guess I'm fucked now."
Aggression "FUCK YOU!"
Disgust "Fuck me."
Confusion "What the fuck.......?"
Difficulty "I don't understand this fucking business!"
Despair "Fucked again..."
Pleasure "I fucking couldn't be happier."
Displeasure "What the fuck is going on here?"
Lost "Where the fuck are we."
Retaliation "Up your fucking ass!"
Denial "I didn't fucking do it."
Perplexity "I know fuck all about it."
Apathy "Who really gives a fuck, anyhow?"
Greetings "How the fuck are ya?"
Suspicion "Who the fuck are you?"
Panic "Let's get the fuck out of here."
Directions "Fuck off."
Disbelief "How the fuck did you do that?"
It can be used in an anatomical description- "He's a fucking asshole."
It can be used to tell time- "It's five fucking thirty."
It can be used in business- "How did I wind up with this fucking job?"
It can be maternal- "Mother fucker."
It can be political- "Fuck Dan Quayle!"It has also been used by many notable people throughout history...

"What the fuck was that?"- Mayor of Hiroshima
"Where the fuck is all this water coming from?"- Captain of the Titanic
"That's not a real fucking gun."- John Lennon
"Who's gonna fucking find out?"- Richard Nixon
"Heads are going to fucking roll."- Anne Boleyn
"Let the fucking woman drive."- Commander of Space Shuttle
"What fucking map?"- "Challenger," Mark Thatcher
"Any fucking idiot could understand that."- Albert Einstein
"It does so fucking look like her!"- Picasso
"How the fuck did you work that out?"- Pythagoras
"You want what on the fucking ceiling?"- Michaelangelo
"Fuck a duck."- Walt Disney
"Why?- Because its fucking there!"- Edmund Hilary
"I don't suppose its gonna fucking rain?"- Joan of Arc
"Scattered fucking showers my ass."- Noah
"I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head."- John F. Kennedy

A self-fulfilling prophecy of endless possibility!

You roll in reams across the street
In algebra, in algebra

The fences that you cannot climb
The sentences that do not rhyme
In all that you can ever change
The one you're looking for

It gets you down
It gets you down

There's no spark
No light in the dark

It gets you down
It gets you down
You traveled far
What have you found
That there's no time
There's no time
To analyse
To think things through
To make sense

Like cows in the city, they never looked so pretty
By power carts and blackouts
Sleeping like babies

It gets you down
It gets you down
You're just playing a part
You're just playing a part

You're playing a part
Playing a part
And there's no time
There's no time
To analyse

I like this..i really do!!! I think i am going through something now! Some sort of cleanse! Physically, emotionally, all works being raw...but my head is wrapped around so much lately, i can hardly sleep! I feel kind of spacey, yet really on top of the world. The weight is slowly coming off. My lucky brand jeans are big on me! SHIT!!! I love those jeans!

So, yeah...i sent out a check to Laura for $45???? Quite unbelievable don't you think? Well i think and thats all that matters!

So, March 1st is coming! I cannot wait for this..i feel health, vibrancy and life seeping into my pores even thinking about it!!! What am i talking about....Juice Feast!!!! GLOBAL!!! This lifestyle is incredible!! Incredible people, events, love, food, just all of it!!! Its lifeforce in your veins!!! Try it, live it!!!! It will overcome you and you will feel whole!!!!

FUCK!!!!! I just like that word!!! Its just a word, FUCK YOU!!! Its powerful...

Be open to the randomness!!!!

Keep breathing dudes!

I gotta keep breathing

I knew, somehow, that I had to stay alive. Somehow. I had to keep breathing. Even though there was no reason to hope. And all my logic said that I would never see this place again. So that's what I did. I stayed alive. I kept breathing. And one day my logic was proven all wrong because the tide came in, and gave me a sail. And now, here I am. I'm back. . . . And I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?
-Chuck Noland (played by Tom Hanks), Cast Away

Jews Don't Poop! Yikes!

Frankly, we don't want to know how it all works

The Tao of Therapy....Liz style!!!

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm!!!
Here is a little exerpt from my wonderful therapist Liz:

“In the 20 years that I've practiced psychotherapy I've come to appreciate the uniqueness and complexities that make us who we are. When problems arise and it is decided to enter therapy, it becomes something of a "Magical Mystery Tour" into our inner world, hopefully to learn more about ourselves.
I welcome the opportunity to collaborate on the ride and help to navigate the bumps-and-twists that will be revealed. I believe understanding yourself and appreciating who you are is the greatest gift you can give to yourself. I consider it to be an honor to be a part of it!”

I like her style! Well let me start from the beginning. I know Liz for a very long time! I would have to guess 10 years or so. She helped me through some rather hard times in my life. She wouldn't let me cancel appointments as i so often tried to do. So, many times i dragged myself to see her, thinking to myself what a waste of time for me. I thought that many times, not because Liz didn't try hard, but because i didn't try hard. She encouraged me, taught me deep breathing, recommended a doctor for my medication management and was there for me whenever i needed her. Ok, fast forward a few years....we kind of lost contact and i always thought about her in the back of my busy mind. I started writing her letters and poems, just my way of keeping in touch! She always responded no matter how bad my writing was. Being that i use my computer a great deal i thought about online therapy...i broached the subject with her and she was agreeable to it. So, there lies our 2nd coming so to speak...Somehow i felt intimidated to see her in person and so i believe we did 2 years of "online therapy"...after a while it just wasn't working and i quit. Fired her flat out and told her she sucks as a therapist. I hurt her feelings and for that i am truly sorry. Monday January 7, 2008....this date is significant because this was the first time in a very long time that we were finally face to face! Did she think i was fat??? Ugly??? Boring??? I do not really know. It's ok though because even if she did she would never say so. So, I like her style! I have a deep affection for Liz and i appreciate her very much! She is cool, funny, knowledgeable, and very soothing to talk to. I am so very glad i made the decision to see her one on one in person. So, to Liz thanks! It doesn't get any better than that!

Life is a celebration of awakenings, of new beginnings, and wonderful surprises that enlighten the soul.

I feel happy today! I just do!
I like her style.

Kanti R. Rai, MD - Treating the Elderly

Well, I took my mom to this very soft spoken Dr back in December for her CLL. His name is Dr Kanti Rai and he is one of the leading CLL experts in the country! He developed the Rai staging system in the mid 1970's.

Rai Stage 0 - designated as a low risk stage
Rai Stages I and II - designated as intermediate risk stages
Rai Stages III and IV - designated as high risk stages

Fortunately, my mom is at Rai Stage 0 still after 5 years! So, this is comforting!!!


"I sluuuur when i'm tired". McNulty being McNulty....fuck!!!

So, The Wire!!! Can i say intense? Watching The Wire is realizing that you have never been so enthralled or engaged in a television show. Raising the bar, tantalizing the senses, (the acting is magnificent), and best of all, challenging the mind. I have never felt so satisfied from watching the box. These characters are so meaty, so real, so utterly delicious. Police and drug dealers alike, all are likable and despicable, all have their moments. They are, to sum up, human. I can't figure out who I'm rooting for - but that's exactly what I love about this show. I cannot stop after one episode How brilliantly creative! Excellent excellent excellent stuff! And dude, i only saw 2 episodes of season 5!!!!!! McNulty ROCKS!!!!

My commitment to juice feasting.....

I'd rather look like this:

Ok, so do you want to look like this?

So, here's to 2008. I am commited to participating in the global juice feast in March 2008. It's usually done for 92 days but i am going to do 30-40 days. The reason that i will not do the full 92 is the Jewish holiday Passover which takes place starting april 20th. So, i suppose my juice feast will begin March 1 and end april 15th or so! I am not going to include the rules and details of the juice feast just yet!! That will come in february. Right now i am just needing to purchase all the added supplements that go along with juice feasting. I also am very intent on losing weight and this will undoubtly help!!! So, thats my commitment and i'm sticking to it!!!! :)

I look to the future because that is where i'm going to spend the rest of my life!!!!

Ok, so first i want to post this website and i urge everybody to go to it at least once today!!!! It's It is quite the eye opener! Let me regress and start with a quote by an older person who has a wonderful blog ! It goes something like this:

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don’t question myself anymore. I’ve even earned the right to be wrong. So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)."

That hits home a bit. So, today i viewed a film called Andrew Jenks Room 335 and i have to say it was one of the most uplifting and wonderful films i have ever had the pleasure of watching. I laughed, i cried, i giggled, i prayed and most of all i watched transfixed to the TV. I couldn't take my eyes off of the wonderful people at Harbor Place in Floridia. Andrew, at 19 years old taught these people so much as well as they taught him. It was just so uplifting so see this. Andrew is a wonderful young man, i cannot speak any more highly or him than i am now!!! Let me give you a synopsis of this film written by Andrew himself:

Just like the other residents at the assisted living facility Harbor Place, I played bingo, hung out in the courtyards contemplating “the golden years”, and even helped fellow neighbors change their oxygen tanks. However, unlike Tammy (age 95) or even Bill (age 80), I am only nineteen years old.
My name is Andrew Jenks and this past summer I moved into a senior residence in Florida. I moved into room 335. For one summer I did all of the things that old people do. I wanted to find the answer to the question: how do they feel now that they face the end of their lives?
I laughed at their jokes about sex, played baseball with canes instead of bats, and raced through the hallways in my friend’s wheelchair. By the fourth week, three of my closest friends were hospitalized and my best chum, Bill, stopped talking to me. I coaxed my neighbor through a heart attack, saw the heartbreak of dementia, and witnessed the death of a friend.
By the end of the summer, I had formed unimaginable bonds with some of the greatest, and oldest, people that life has to offer. I came to realize that it is in such friendships and the spirit in which you live that meaning is to be found. My two good college buddies followed this journey and recorded over 200 hours of footage, creating “Andrew Jenks, Room 335”.

Here are some of my remarks on the film:

Andrew Jenks Room 335 begins as an interesting summer project and evolves into a profound film on aging. Nineteen year old NYU film student Andrew Jenks decides to spend 36 days living in a Florida assisted living facility, bringing fellow filmmaker friends Jonah Quickmire Pettigrew and William Godel along to digitally record a video diary of his stay. Jenks' therapist says at the beginning of the film that this isn't such a hot idea, but Jenks insists that he feels he can learn about Life from the elderly and that they share the same "outcast" situation.Jenks has an engaging, caring, sincere personality and connects rapidly with a number of the patients, and its their openness that makes Jenks' project such a noteworthy film. By the end of the film's 90 minutes, you'll feel like you know these people intimately and consider them friends.Most engaging is 96-year old Tammy, an energetic woman who's outlived her family and original friends but has such a great sense of humor (often R-rated) and caring nature that she's continually making friends at the Harbor Place facility. Even when she faces a health challenge and is admitted to a hospital, Tammy continues to be far more concerned for her friends than for herself. After observing Bill constantly doing favors for various residents and taking daily walks to the store to buy candy for them, Jenks sets out to get to know him. They become buddies. A former Marine who wears only Hawaiian shirts, Bill exchanges "hurrahs" and playful roughhousing punches with Jenks. The 80 year old also talks more on camera than he had ever uttered previously at the facility. Quite the prankster, Bill is shown "stealing" another patients walking cane and turning it into a baseball bat; his teasing behaviors signals how intensely he likes a person. Never verbally eloquent, Bill's body language reveals his feelings, and Jenks correctly interprets Bill's sudden silent treatment near the end of the filming that Bill is upset that his new young friend is about to leave.Other significant characters include legally blind and hard of hearing Libby, who has a bit of a temper that balances her caring, sweet side, and her fellow Jeopardy devotee Dotty, whose heath radically deteriorates. Dotty has the film's most heart wrenching scene and profoundly affects Jenks, and me in turn. In certain scenes Jenks infers that some of the patients at Harbor Place have dementia! We see very little of that aspect with the exception of when a blackout occurs during a stormand the staff are curiously absent while a confused patient helplessly wanders the hallway and another struggles to breath without oxygen. Andrew Jenks reveals as much about himself as his new friends at the Harbor Place facility, so viewers will eagerly look forward to his next project. When a good hearted director makes a film that is as entertaining and moving as this one, he bonds with the audience.

So, yeah being that i am surrounded by eldery people where i live, and just lost a precious family member to old age it was manditory watching!!! For all of you too!!!

The tao of Music!

As anybody who knows me, knows that i absolutely adore music. It soothes my soul and makes me whole again! Music is such a big part of everyday life, its really incredible. There's music at weddings, funerals, parties, restaurants, in the ears of iPod users. You can hear music in elevators, lobbies, doctor's offices. At my local hospital, when a baby is born a lullabye is heard over the loudspeakers. Thats pretty cool, i think. I love discovering new music. It's an incredible feeling to listen to a song for the first time and really connecting with the lyrics, melody and feel of the piece. It can encourage you to get up and dance, think deep thoughts. It can remind you of a first love, a sad time in your life and of course happy times! So, please i urge each and every one of you to just listen! The music is all around you, all you have to do is listen....

Without music, life would be a mistake.
Friedrich Nietzche

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Well, here i am!!!

So, i finally decided to start my own blog. After much deliberation and research i decided on as my starting point. It's quite user friendly that even i can do it. I have designed it and made it my own. I want all my friends to feel free to come by and read and comment. This way, i will know what people like and dislike and i can adjust accordingly. I will be posting quite frequently and adding special videos. My blog will primarily be me posting about family, friends, food, music, tv, therapy and anything else that pops into my skattered head! So, welcome and thanks for coming by!!!

I would alsolike to post a link for my other blog that i have had for the past 8 years or so. Please feel free to take a look as i have quite a bit of quality posts there. I will update there periodically!