Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Tact is for people not witty enough to use sarcasm...

I am nerdier than 33% of all people. Are you a nerd? Click here to find out!

Ok, here is Wikpedia's definition of a nerd.....Nerd is a term often bearing a derogatory connotation or stereotype, that refers to a person who passionately pursues intellectual activities or esoteric knowledge rather than engaging in more social activities. Therefore, a nerd is often excluded from physical activity and considered a loner by peers.

Dr Suess and the nerd....If I Ran the Zoo is a children's book written by Dr. Seuss in 1950.

If I Ran the Zoo is credited with inventing the word "Nerd" with the sentence "And then, just to show them, I'll sail to Ka-Troo/And Bring Back an It-Kutch a Preep and a Proo/A Nerkle a Nerd and a Seersucker, too!"

Understand what being a nerd means. A nerd is someone intelligent, individual, and nonconformist; an intelligent but single-minded expert in a particular technical field or profession. (Many people thought of as "punk" are actually nerds in disguise.) A geek is someone known for their obsession(s) with one or more things, not necessarily academic or intellectually stimulating. A nerd is invariably a geek. But not all geeks are nerds. A dork is a socially inept person. It is NOT a good thing to be a dork. A loser, contrary to popular belief, is not the category that nerds, geeks, and dorks fall under. A loser is someone who thinks they're cool but is really just a bully.

Here are my instructions on becoming a nerd, being a nerd and living like a nerd:

Learn. Just learn. Read everything you can get your hands on, including reference books and encyclopedias. Watch PBS, the history channel, the science channel, etc. Read the newspaper and watch the news. Go to Wikipedia once a month and click on "Random Article". Most likely it will turn out to be historical and genealogical information about some remote Scottish village. Great. Read it all. Keep your bookshelf stocked with more non-fiction than fiction. Whenever you don't know the meaning of a word, look it up.

Read books. They will make you smarter. All of sci-fi and most of fantasy are nerdy. Non-fiction, especially on historical topics no one has heard of, is nerdy. Read computer manuals, well, manuals in general. Math textbooks are good. Subscribe to a specialty magazine or journal. Read them from cover to cover and in each issue pick out three words you've never heard of before. Memorize these and try to use them often.

Increase your vocabulary, and use it! Don't get wordy, but substitute little words (jumped, typed) for better ones (lunged, hammered the keyboard frenziedly). Make SURE you only use your brainy words when it is appropriate, or you'll look like a show off (and therefore a loser; NOT good). Make sure there's someone around to appreciate your vocabulary.

Become an "expert" on certain topics. Notice the aforementioned topics? Talk about them, but stop when you can tell someone is getting bored and let them talk about their own interests. Become more informed than others on certain topics. Don't just play the computer game; know all the designers, and the characters' back stories. Make sure that everyone you know, knows you know these things. Also, use as much of the subject's unique vocabulary as possible. Use a google of jargon, but be ready to give a definition when asked.

Find friends with similar interests. Not all nerds have only nerdy friends, but it may help you to fit in with other nerds if you learn to play some stereotypically nerdy games and watch stereotypically nerdy movies and TV. At the same time, have a few friends who are anything BUT nerds. This'll make sure you're skillful socially and aren't just trying to withdraw. Teach them a few things, and who knows? Maybe they'll know something important that you don't!

Dress uniquely. This can be as extreme as suspenders and high-waters, or if that's too much, just buy some tee-shirts that make reference to obscure or computer related things. Also, always wear a digital watch. Or get the best of both worlds, get a binary wristwatch. Be sure you know how to read it quickly, or you will look like a buffoon. The alternative to dressing nicely is to not care how you dress. (This can make you into a nerd too, because in general, nerds don't care about appearance.)

Ponder everything. If at any point you're not pondering, you need to try harder. Question yourself first and the world around you. Don't be afraid to ask others for their answer. Be ready to accept it and even adopt it if it's better than yours
Be aware of your surroundings Never hang out where lots of people are. Again most nerds are anti-social.

Warnings: If you are a guy: Female nerds are in short supply, get used to it.

Not everyone in your life will relish your nerdiness. Some may even taunt, boo, or try to convince you that no, you have it wrong—nerds actually are uncool. Whatever you do, do not listen to these idiots.
Don't be a know-it-all ALL the time! If you have to point out a mistake or a faulty logic, do it politely and discretely.
Nerds are usually very unsocial. Lack of eye-contact and shoe-shopping-talk may be convincing.

Things You'll Need:

Glasses. If vision correction is in fact unnecessary, get glass glasses or wire frames. A large white cellophane tape to connect the two frames together is not neccesary but recommended.
Hair tie. For girls, this is quintessential when reading.
Pens. At least five are needed. No, the stereotypical pens-in-shirt-pocket-gig is not used anymore; in fact, it is quite frowned-upon in nerdier circles. You should probably keep your pens in the spiral of a spiral-bound notebook, or perhaps one tucked behind your ear and the rest in a discreet pencil bag. For girls with long hair, you can also use a pen as a hair-stick, instant accessibility.

Be able to enjoy your new life style.

I actually want to be a nerd because in my mind nerds are way cool!!!
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