Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Learning to breathe.....

Little by little i am learning how to breathe. See, i was breathing all along, at least i think i was, but now my breathing has purpose and its done because being alive when you believe makes things so much more clear and wonderful.

Do you like the thought of just vanishing away? I do, a lot! Your here, your there and then your not. But, you are someplace else just as special. If you believe, you will get there. It's glorious.

You can read, you can think, but to actually be in a place of peace and joy, thats indescribible! I will not even attempt to put words to it. Just know it is!

So, whats glorious about it? Do you know? I do...
My eyes are small but they have seen
The beauty of enormous things
Which leads me to believe
There's light enough to see

Come on, how can these words not resonate with you all??? I've lived a relatively short time here on planet earth but my eyes see so much beauty. Even that squirrel that scurries past me looking for food, is actually quite glorious. When i step outside everyday for my morning run, the rush of adrenelin that comes over me is intensley glorious! The sun, the wind in my sweaty face, the water fountain, my friends that help me get through the run, simply glorious!

So, today i get some medical news. Not particularly what i wanted to hear, but i think i may have handled it with pride and strength and hope. I don't really know. I did ask some kinda strange questions but hey, thats how i roll. Like what happens if my brain pops out of my skull? Does it fit back in or do i have to place it? Or, do i get to wear those cool plastic hats they put on, before surgery? Because, i'm thinking i need to keep those unruly curls in place so i look all pretty when i emerge from that big scary room. I do not want to scare Karen! I have a reputation to uphold.

But, i will emerge, i will come into view for all the world to see. I will take control and never falter. I will surprise everybody. People will cram their necks to see me being wheeled out of that big scary room. I might even smile and wave. I will do a quick scan, see who i need to see and breathe.

This is really all i'd like to say about it. Medical stuff can be daunting to some. It certainly is to me. Or shall i say it used to be. Now its mostly, just a little annoyance that may sideline me for about 24 hours. DONE!

I realize this post is all over the place. I apologize for that. I just wanted to try my best to explain how i learned to breathe. You can all do it, i am sure of that. I am still the raw cool person you all know and love! Just 100% better than before. I am protected. I am loved.
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