Wednesday, July 8, 2009

The End Of The World..

The Cure - The End Of The World
Go if you want to
I never tried to stop you
Know there's a reason
For all of this you're feeling
Love it's not my call
You couldn't ever love me more
You couldn't love me more
You couldn't love

Me I dont show much
It's far too hard to hide you
See in a moment
I cant remember how to
Be all you wanted
I couldn't ever love you more
I couldn't love you more
I couldn't love

You want me to cry and play my part
I want you to sigh and fall apart
We want this like everyone else

Stay if you want to
I always wait to hear you
Say there's a last kiss
For all the times you run this
Way, it's not my call
You couldn't ever love me more
You couldn't love me more
You couldn't love

Love me more
Couldnt ever love me more
I couldnt love you more
I couldnt love

You want me to lie not break your heart
I want you to sigh and fall apart
We want this like everyone else

Maybe we didn't understand
It's just the end of the
end of the world
Maybe we didn't understand
Not just a boy and a girl
It's just the end of the world

It's 3am in the morning - how the fuck did I get here? It's been days since I've been motivated to post anything. And its really upsetting to me that I am not showing up on peeps feed readers for some unexplainable reason that I have no explanation for. So, I feel as though I am starting from scratch here. Like day one post one. COME BACK PEEPS.

I am not a quitter yet I uttered those exact words 2 days ago. To someone who cares and knows and loves me. I said "I fucking quit". I am so done and so tired. I am not running anymore. I am tired of fighting the injuries one after another. When one thing heals, the next thing begins to plaque me. Fuck that. Fuck it all. I am so done.

Ok, I WAS so done. Because, about 15 minutes after I uttered those three words I knew in my heart it was false and ridiculous. Why would I quit just because my body was rebelling against me. I am a fighter and I will fight this. Do whatever. Eat healing crap and think healing thoughts and nurse my ailing body. Ice it. Massage it. Google it. Ignore it. Yell at it. Scream at it.

It is a quad thang. Left leg. It was so bad on Sunday that I fell down while running. Literally. My legs went out from under me and I fell down went boom!! Big boom too. Ever fall? Why does if feel as if its happening is SLO MO! I had an out of body experience and saw myself going down yet I couldn't stop it from happening. I landed hard on my left elbow. Now I have some sort of odd muscle strain in that arm. Whatever. I was more embarrassed than anything. Nobody helped or asked if I was ok. I was. OK! Sort of. I hobbled home and felt angry the rest of the day.

Next day - I FUCKING QUIT!!! I hate running.

30 minutes later. I DO NOT QUIT. I fucking love running. This is a love/hate thing that has been going on in my life forever. Explaining this to a person who does not run is nearly impossible, I think. 99.9% impossible. It is impossible to explain the love. So, I won't.

Today, I got real antsy and coupled with a Pink Lady juice (beets/pear/apple/ginger) and a big bowl of juicy cherries I had all this excess energy that needed some release. Plus I had to clear my head of stuff.

So, I laced up these suckas Brooks ST4's.

And, after lots of conversation with awesome runners and reading this from this site NEWTON RUNNING :
Striking on your forefoot is the most natural way to run, it is also the fastest and most efficient way to run. PRACTICE GOOD FORM. Relax, lean slightly forward and shorten your stride. Your foot will naturally land on your midfoot at a point under your hips. Keep a high cadence and your stride length short. (Do not run on your toes.) To run efficiently, you have to understand your body and how it naturally moves across a surface with as little muscular force as possible. Along those lines, the tenants of good running form include running with short strides and a quick cadence, landing lightly on the midfoot/forefoot area (the ball of the foot, but not the toes), and quickly lifting your foot off the ground instead of pushing off with excessive muscle force. A slight forward lean and a relaxed arm swing are also key components.

So, I did that. I ran that way. This is the way it went down:
I juiced a Pink Lady today - 2 beets/2 pears/1 apple/big piece of ginger. This plus a big bowl of juicy cherries sent my energy level through the roof so I decided to lace up and do some sort of walk/run thing. I put on my ST4's and walked the first 1/2 mile. Then ran 1/2 and I used the method I was describing earlier. I won't lie, it takes some thought to get it right and I am not even sure I did it right BUT my thigh pain was considerably less. Not sure if that was the result of 2 complete days of no running OR a result of the new gait I tried. I guess time will tell.
Mile 1 13.12
Mile 2 12.52
Mile 3 11.33
After I ran the 1/2 I then walked 1/2 and that gave me 1.5 miles. I ran the last 1.5 slowly. The heat this time of day was (for me) unbearable and I felt a little dizzy towards the end. I am drinking Cytomax now and it is helping.

I am stoked now. There are 38 days left until the NYC Half Marathon. I am going to make that race my bitch.

It's 3AM in the morning. How the fuck did I get here? I no longer care. It is no longer the END OF THE WORLD.

Hold your ponies, Michelle! Everything you've ever dreamed of, lies on the path you're now on.
Hi Ho Silver,
The Universe

"Here is my secret. It is very simple: one sees well only with the heart. The essential is invisible to the eyes." "The Little Prince - Antoine de Saint-Exupery.
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