Monday, September 7, 2009

That's Sabotage

I Can't Stand It I Know You Planned It
I'm Gonna Set It Straight, This Watergate
I Can't Stand Rocking When I'm In Here
Because Your Crystal Ball Ain't So Crystal Clear
So While You Sit Back and Wonder Why
I Got This Fucking Thorn In My Side
Oh My, It's A Mirage
I'm Tellin' Y'all It's Sabotage

So Listen Up 'Cause You Can't Say Nothin'
You'll Shut Me Down With A Push Of Your Button?
But Yo I'm Out And I'm Gone
I'll Tell You Now I Keep It On And On

'Cause What You See You Might Not Get
And We Can Bet So Don't You Get Souped Yet
You're Scheming On A Thing That's A Mirage
I'm Trying To Tell You Now It's Sabotage

I Can't Stand It, I Know You Planned It
But I'm Gonna Set It Straight This Watergate
But I Can't Stand Rockin' When I'm In This Place
Because I Feel Disgrace Because You're All In My Face
But Make No Mistakes And Switch Up My Channel
I'm Buddy Rich When I Fly Off The Handle
What Could It Be, It's A Mirage
You're Scheming On A Thing - That's Sabotage

This friendship is no great loss to me! I find her reasons amusing. I graduated from Jr. High decades ago....
And ~ That's Sabotage.

What the fuck am I dealing with here? I am dealing with backstabbing, beguiling, crafty, cunning, deceiving, deceptive, dishonest, hypocritical, insincere, knavish, dodgy, slick, sly, lying, misleading, shifty, sneaky, tricky, underhanded, untruthful. Yes, every single one of those descriptions.

Why can't people keep it real. Show me your "real" face. Don't switch up your face depending on who you are talking to. Come on!! I may be in Jr. High but I wasn't born yesterday. Why can't people be honest and not change up their stories dependent on who is listening.

I am not perfect, Never said I was and will never claim to be, but if I say one thing to you, I say that exact same thing to the next person. Why say something different? To get attention? To have people sympathize with you?

You know what? It must be me. I am the moron and pathetic gullible person. I am easily duped, like all the time. I am 100% too trusting of people and I like to believe what I am told. And I do believe what I am told.

I am no psychoanalyst but gosh.

What is never told is the good stuff. The good things. The fun things. Just that it is no great loss. That is fine and dandy. It's almost laughable. But, I am not laughing. I am not amused at all.

I am feeling so vulnerable right now. I am open and susceptible to emotional injury. Yes, I admit that. And it upsets me. I can never get things straight. I get all confused and pissed off. I try to hard all the time and it is exhausting to me.

I try to tell people how I feel and do you know what they do? They twist and turn and put it all on me. Reverse psychology.

Rabbit Fire
A well-known example of reverse psychology is the Looney Tunes cartoon Rabbit Fire, where Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck are trying to convince Elmer Fudd it's the hunting season for the other species and not their own. After a back-and-forth with Bugs proclaiming "Duck season!" and Daffy "Wabbit [rabbit] season!", Bugs switches to say "Rabbit season!", to which Daffy begins saying "Duck season!"- even going to far as to exclaim "I say it's duck season, and I say, FIRE!"

I guess I am the one that say's FIRE!!! And I get fired on!!! ME!!

I realize that I vent and write my heart out here, but it is my blog and nobody really reads it anyway. When I feel it, I need to let it go. Running is one way for me to do that, and writing is another way.

Anyway, who gives a shit about all that stuff, when you see this first thing in the morning? Nice barefoot run on the beach. My first time running barefoot. It was freeing and I felt like a child again. Perhaps, a child in Jr. High. Yeah, that's the ticket!

I will pursue more barefoot running, but with the VFF's. I can run barefoot on the boardwalk and I may. But, if I choose to run elsewhere, I need the VFF's.

Running has been incredible lately. More on that in another post. Let's just say I am feeling it and my mojo is there front and center!!

When your awareness expands, you begin to see that which you ignored before.

Exercise is the architect, but recovery is the builder
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