I Got A Feeling

That today is going to be a good day!! That today's gonna be a good good day. A feeling that today's gonna be a good day.

Those sorts of days are few and very far between. But, when it's good, you feel it. You know it. You own it.

I am owning a lot of good days, these days. And I dig it.













I'm thinking I don't want to end up like that up there, ya know? Left hanging, not knowing. Just waiting and chilling and hanging. Fuck no. That shit don't fly with me. I want to be in the know. Sort of like this:













A chick who digs reading the NYT and doesn't give a fuck who knows it! That is pure coolness huh? The world is made up of so many different things and this chick wants to know it all. I love that.













Any of you fuckers out there know what I am saying?











Jon Hamm: Good evening, and thank you for looking at us. Tina and I are honored to present the first award this evening.
Tina Fey: But before we do, let’s linger in this magical time at the beginning of the evening where everyone is still a winner, and Seth MacFarlane is only pretty drunk.
Jon Hamm: When I wasn’t busy playing “Mad Men’s” Don Draper last year, I also had the pleasure of appearing as a guest actor on “30 Rock” where I learned that comedy is just drama with less smoking.
Tina Fey: And where I learned that having to kiss the guy who plays Don Draper will make you sweat through your lady blazer.
Jon Hamm: Speaking of lady blazers, the women nominated tonight for Supporting Actress in a Comedy are the finest in their field: smart, funny, beautiful, crazy, big-eyes and pee-wee. Those aren’t adjectives, those are just my nicknames for them.

- 61st Primetime Emmy Awards

Jenna: I’m taking you out to celebrate - a girls’ night! We’ll meet some new people.
Liz: Oh, you mean, like at a discotheque?



Liz Lemon loves to dance ~ BOO-YAH!!

You all know I love Liz Lemon right? She cracks me up and as long as I know WWLLD I am Ok with the world. She is coming back tomorrow ~ it's been a while. I am looking forward to saying hi to Liz Lemon. BOO-YAH!!!

I want to go to there. I want to go to there.

Actually, Michelle, everyone is reasonable.

They just have their own reasons.

And usually it's worth trying to learn what they are to maximize chances of a full-blown, 60's style, psychedelic lovefest. Which is always a good thing.
Groovy you,
The Universe

There are no guarantees. That we know. The best we can do is try.

Fight The Power

1989 the number another summer (get down)
Sound of the funky drummer
Music hittin' your heart cause I know you got sould
(Brothers and sisters hey)
Listen if you're missin' y'all
Swingin' while I'm singin'
Givin' whatcha gettin'
Knowin' what I know
While the Black bands sweatin'
And the rhythm rhymes rollin'
Got to give us what we want
Gotta give us what we need
Our freedom of speech is freedom or death
We got to fight the powers that be
Lemme hear you say
Fight the power

But who? Who can I fight? I am just a little pion in the big world. I am a wuss who gets stepped on left and right.













Today I was brought way back down to reality. Man.
Since I was going to do a speed workout later in the evening I decided to loosen up a bit with a ride. So I rode down the Shore Parkway bike path and stopped at the end for a moment. When I started on my way back home ~ I knew something was wrong. Odd noise I heard. I stopped and looked down ~ back tire FLAT as a pancake.

So, I walked and walked and asked somebody if there was a bike shop nearby. Yes, he said 2 blocks down. So, I get there to the Verrazano Bicycle Shop and Mr. Tomas Kim is the owner. I was all happy to find the shop and walked in with a smile. They told me there was a shard of glass that flattened the tire plus I needed a tube. They fixed it. Then Tomas Kim told me $12. Stupid me left the house with $5 and no metro card. Tomas Kim would not let me leave with my bike. He refused to accept my $5 with my PROMISE that I would come back with the $7. He told me the only way I could take my bike is if I left some sort of COLLATERAL. He asked me to leave my watch with him. My $300 garmin. I said no I don't want to do that. He also told me he is in business for 20 years. Good for him.

Long story short: Luckily my friends father lives 1 mile away from the bike shop. So, I left my bike and ran 1 mile to his house. I was running through the streets of Brooklyn with my bike helmet on my head. When I returned I put the $12 on the desk ~ took his business card and my bike and left the store without looking back.

I know MY BAD that I only took $5 but I am so disappointed. I was almost in tears in that store not being able to take my bike. I thought Help a dude out ya know? But not Mr. Kim. THANKS A LOT TOMAS KIM!!!

I know, he has a business to run ~ I totally get that. I just think a bit differently than other peeps do is all. It was $12. It was really $7.

I want to fight the power because I am a weakling. It is as though I live in a big bubble thinking the world all around me is great. Then the bubble pops open and I am exposed to the real ugly truth. Not all around me is glorious. In fact, probably just the opposite.

I want to fight the power and walk around with my eyes wide open ~ instead of eyes wide shut. I won't change who I am. I will just be way more cautious of others. Not trusting anymore. Can't be. Unless, I retreat back into my bubble land. Maybe!!

I will be an aggressive cyclist. I am taking a course in How to Be a Savvy Cyclist! because if anything, i am savvy!!! I never want to be in the predicament I was in today. I want to be able to do everything on my own. I don't want or need to want help from others.

I am a rebel without a pause. I want to be left alone and I will leave you all alone.
"We find ourselves dancing late/ Like young reprobates/ By the milky light of the mighty moon/ Find someone to nuzzle you/ And waltz from the room."















“ birds scream at the top of their lungs in horrified hellish rage every morning at daybreak to warn us all of the truth but sadly we don’t speak bird. kurt cobain

normal and abnormal exist together, defining each other.

“ when anything is blocking my head or there’s worry in my life, I just go sit on Mars or something and look back here at Earth. All you can see is this tiny speck. You don’t see the fear. You don’t see the pain. You don’t see thought. It’s just one solid speck. Then nothing really matters. It just doesn’t. heath ledger

YOU GET WHAT YOU GIVE.

Pep Talk: You know, you have a lot of power. You can change the course of a person’s day with your words and your actions. Use that power for good. All the goodness you put out there will come back to you in surprising ways. You’ll be rolling in the blessings, which is awesome, because you’re loved and you deserve only the best things.

Today remind yourself: I get what I give.

You Are Just Right: Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."













"Joy is the feeling of grinning on the inside." - Melba Colgrove

"Joy is not in things. It's in us." - Richard Wagner

" Live and work but do not forget to play, to have fun in life and really enjoy it." - Eileen Caddy

I just want to fight the fucking power. Yeah, that is me talking. I am a rebel without a pause. So take that YO!

It's A Beautiful World

The children outside all are laughing under perfect skies
The shapes and patterns in this season make me feel alive
I wanna shout it from the roof top and tell the world
That, “I was blind but now I see what’s right in front of me!”
It’s a beautiful world I see, everything looks differently
It’s a beautiful world I see, these moments are changing me?When I look at the sky I see the reason why I know,
When I look out from the window,
The moon and stars shine all their lights down from the heavens
I choir of angels strike a chord and lift their voices
And then we sing out,
“I’ve been lost but now I’ve found what’s right in front of me.”

I was really thinking about what to do for my 9/11 post. I could have went in many different directions here.

The "where I was that day when it happened post". The "how I felt immediately after post". The "thank goodness, I didn't lose anybody close to me post". The "why I thought it happened post". I could go on and on.









But, I decided to go with the "It's a beautiful world post". Think about it. I am here, you are here reading this. That right there makes this world beautiful. I feel so very badly for all the families who have lost loved ones and I feel so very badly for the people who were there and had to endure the horrors of that day. I even have a friend who, while was not at the towers, was in the street and got covered with dust running for her life. And to this day she is not the same. Asthma and just well ya know!

But, think about how beautiful the world has become. In a crazy ass way 9/11 has brought peeps together. More patriotic and caring. More helpful and pensive. More loving and emotional. Just more of everything.

Sure, not everything is hunky Dory or even close to that but still....The people I have met over the years is proof positive that good people exist. And the people that came to help on 9/11 are selfless and beyond special. They didn't think about anything except helping. And saving. And digging. And hugging. And crying.

I did my share of crying, but I also rejoiced when the 1 year anniversary of 9/11 came all too quickly and the powerful connections were brought to life. As our president said "We came together as one people". Thats powerful.

I think that may be all I can conjure up about 9/11. My personal story is everybody's story, I think. My thoughts and prayers to everybody who perished and their families are everybody's thoughts and prayers. Today, we are all one!!









Please keep me in your awesomeness! I am doing this NYC Century Bike Tour 55 mile ride, and while I know I can complete it, I've never done a big group ride, so it makes me a bit anxious. I sure am fit enough and have the stamina. I consider myself an athlete ~ because anybody who runs and bikes and does push ups, sit ups, squats and planks almost daily is an athlete in my book!

Also, I need to address this on my blog. I was told to not write stuff bashing people. Do I do that? I wasn't aware that I was doing that at all. I just tell it like it is. Simple. TRUTHFUL. Simple. EASY!! I don't mince words, I just say what I feel. Bashing? Doubtful!! So, what I wrote stays. You can unfollow me, if it offends you. Your choice. That is what makes life so beautiful. FREEDOM!!

Out beyond ideas of right thinking and wrong thinking is a field. I’ll meet you there… Jalaluddin Rumi
Yeah, that means you, and you and you all the way over there!!!!

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained... Mark Twain
Yeah, try to remember that, or better yet, don't forget!

Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness... Martin Luther King, Jr.
Ya think?? I DO!!!

Anyway, I am just a geek in pink.

It's exactly at times like these, Michelle, when the going gets tough, rumors are rampant, and people begin resisting change, that you know things are about to get really, really good.

You always could pick the right time, the right place, and the best jeans.
All eyes are upon you,
The Universe

That's Sabotage

I Can't Stand It I Know You Planned It
I'm Gonna Set It Straight, This Watergate
I Can't Stand Rocking When I'm In Here
Because Your Crystal Ball Ain't So Crystal Clear
So While You Sit Back and Wonder Why
I Got This Fucking Thorn In My Side
Oh My, It's A Mirage
I'm Tellin' Y'all It's Sabotage

So Listen Up 'Cause You Can't Say Nothin'
You'll Shut Me Down With A Push Of Your Button?
But Yo I'm Out And I'm Gone
I'll Tell You Now I Keep It On And On

'Cause What You See You Might Not Get
And We Can Bet So Don't You Get Souped Yet
You're Scheming On A Thing That's A Mirage
I'm Trying To Tell You Now It's Sabotage

I Can't Stand It, I Know You Planned It
But I'm Gonna Set It Straight This Watergate
But I Can't Stand Rockin' When I'm In This Place
Because I Feel Disgrace Because You're All In My Face
But Make No Mistakes And Switch Up My Channel
I'm Buddy Rich When I Fly Off The Handle
What Could It Be, It's A Mirage
You're Scheming On A Thing - That's Sabotage

This friendship is no great loss to me! I find her reasons amusing. I graduated from Jr. High decades ago....
And ~ That's Sabotage.

What the fuck am I dealing with here? I am dealing with backstabbing, beguiling, crafty, cunning, deceiving, deceptive, dishonest, hypocritical, insincere, knavish, dodgy, slick, sly, lying, misleading, shifty, sneaky, tricky, underhanded, untruthful. Yes, every single one of those descriptions.

Why can't people keep it real. Show me your "real" face. Don't switch up your face depending on who you are talking to. Come on!! I may be in Jr. High but I wasn't born yesterday. Why can't people be honest and not change up their stories dependent on who is listening.

I am not perfect, Never said I was and will never claim to be, but if I say one thing to you, I say that exact same thing to the next person. Why say something different? To get attention? To have people sympathize with you?

You know what? It must be me. I am the moron and pathetic gullible person. I am easily duped, like all the time. I am 100% too trusting of people and I like to believe what I am told. And I do believe what I am told.

I am no psychoanalyst but gosh.

What is never told is the good stuff. The good things. The fun things. Just that it is no great loss. That is fine and dandy. It's almost laughable. But, I am not laughing. I am not amused at all.

I am feeling so vulnerable right now. I am open and susceptible to emotional injury. Yes, I admit that. And it upsets me. I can never get things straight. I get all confused and pissed off. I try to hard all the time and it is exhausting to me.

I try to tell people how I feel and do you know what they do? They twist and turn and put it all on me. Reverse psychology.


Rabbit Fire
A well-known example of reverse psychology is the Looney Tunes cartoon Rabbit Fire, where Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck are trying to convince Elmer Fudd it's the hunting season for the other species and not their own. After a back-and-forth with Bugs proclaiming "Duck season!" and Daffy "Wabbit [rabbit] season!", Bugs switches to say "Rabbit season!", to which Daffy begins saying "Duck season!"- even going to far as to exclaim "I say it's duck season, and I say, FIRE!"

I guess I am the one that say's FIRE!!! And I get fired on!!! ME!!

I realize that I vent and write my heart out here, but it is my blog and nobody really reads it anyway. When I feel it, I need to let it go. Running is one way for me to do that, and writing is another way.














Anyway, who gives a shit about all that stuff, when you see this first thing in the morning? Nice barefoot run on the beach. My first time running barefoot. It was freeing and I felt like a child again. Perhaps, a child in Jr. High. Yeah, that's the ticket!

I will pursue more barefoot running, but with the VFF's. I can run barefoot on the boardwalk and I may. But, if I choose to run elsewhere, I need the VFF's.

Running has been incredible lately. More on that in another post. Let's just say I am feeling it and my mojo is there front and center!!

When your awareness expands, you begin to see that which you ignored before.

Exercise is the architect, but recovery is the builder

I'm Mad - But, in a good way.

Onwards from AKQA on Vimeo.

Fills me with glee. I am standing on my head clapping along - doing the happy dance.
















I am too cool for school, so I won't go.

It is pretty funny how things always seem to work itself out. I no longer feel any bitterness or frustration - I kinda feel happy.

Unsure, undecided, vague, unclear, unfinished, incomplete, doubtful, unstable, blurred, imprecise, undesignated, unknown, indistinct, indefinite, unresolved, and uncertain.

Yet, I am none of those things. Take what you need and dump the rest.

So am I the only dork enjoying this sensational weather? Running has been euphoric and biking is so pleasurable that I could do it all day long. With a break for cupcakes of course!!

I think the next 4 months will be worthy of some very awesome blog posts here at raw cool. I am aware that I am not giving it my all but I give what I can.

I think I am going to go do some squats now. And not in the toilet either.

“ art for art’s sake does wonderful things to you. It makes you laugh. It makes you cry. It makes you want to take naps and go places wearing funny pants. Doing something just for the hell of it is a wonderful antidote to all the chores and “must-dos” of daily life. nanowrimo

“ now… You are going to tell me your story like you just did. Write it all down. Tell that story over and over. Tell me your sad-assed story all night… When you understand that what you’re telling is just a story. It isn’t happening anymore. When you realize that the story you’re telling is just words, when you can just crumble it up and throw your past in the trashcan, then we’ll figure out who you’re going to be. chuck palahniuk

Alice: But I don’t want to go among mad people.
Chesire Cat: Oh, you can’t help that. We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.
Alice: How do you know I’m mad?
Chesire Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn’t have come here.
Alice: And how do you know that you’re mad?
Cheshire Cat: To begin with, a dog’s not mad. You grant that?
Alice: I suppose so
Chesire Cat: Well, then, you see, a dog growls when it’s angry, and wags its tail when it’s pleased. Now I growl when I’m pleased, and wag my tail when I’m angry. Therefore I’m mad.

We're Going To Be Friends

fall is here, hear the yell
back to school, ring the bell
brand new shoes, walking blues
climb the fence, book and pens
i can tell that we are gonna be friends

walk with me, suzy lee
through the park, by the tree
we will rest upon the ground
and look at all the bugs we've found
then safely walk to school
without a sound

well here we are, no one else
we walked to school all by ourselves
there's dirt on our uniforms
from chasing all the ants and worms
we clean up and now it's time to learn


numbers, letters, learn to spell
nouns, and books, and show and tell
at playtime we will throw the ball
back to class, through the hall
teacher marks our height against the wall

and we don't notice any time pass
we don't notice anything
we sit side by side in every class
teacher thinks that i sound funny
but she likes the way you sing

tonight i'll dream while i'm in bed
when sill thoughts go through my head
about the bugs and alphabet
and when i wake tomorrow i'll bet
that you and i will walk together again
cause i can tell that we
are going to be friends

It's fitting isn't it? Labor day is almost here and that marks the unofficial end of summer and the beginning of school and reuniting with old and dear friends. I, myself am not starting school but I look upon this time of year as a sort of new beginning. A purging if you will of all the shit I obtained during the summer.

I'm talking all the running shit - all the frustrating stuff I bring upon myself. I hold it all in and build walls that can really make me nuts. Picture running a marathon and hitting the proverbial wall at mile 20. You know what you have to do to get the job done, but that darn wall is holding you back. So, what do you do? Push on. Say fuck you wall and knock that sucka down.

Anyway, I really love this tune. Here is my take on it.

Two buddies going through school and remaining tight friends and being there for each other. Perhaps, that is a simplified version of what Jack White meant, I really don't know. "I can't believe the power that's expressed in these words. It completely captures the innocence of childhood, something I wish I still had. But, I don't.

I become melancholy and so very pensive a lot. I think so deeply about things. Even running, I'm all like dude run faster or you suck. Then I analyze the numbers. Then I dissect the run into smaller pieces and wonder where I went wrong. Then i eat a cupcake.

Cupcakes really heal me. I eat it and taste it and enjoy it and then its gone. But somehow I feel better. Remember when you were a kid and you came home from school all excited for your afternoon snack? Well, I remember that vividly and when I eat a cupcake it takes me back there. Which is why I really dig this song.

It brings me back there.













Maybe to here? Check out that outfit and hair. I think you could tell who the boss was in that relationship huh? By the way, we are not friends anymore. Drifted away. I hate that. I suppose I could look for him on facebook, but I think I rather remember.













I need to start spinning counter-clockwise. Later.

An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind."

Mahatma Gandh

Running Completes Me.

Collective Soul - RUN


Are these times contagious
Ive never been this bored before
Is this the prize Ive waited for
Now with the hours passing
Theres nothing left here to insure
I long to find a messenger

Have I got a long way to run
Have I got a long way to run
Yeah, I run

Is there a cure among us
From this processed sanity
I weaken with each voice that sings
Now, in this world of purchase
Im going to buy back memories
To awaken some old qualities

A very wise man once said:
We are the messengers--fueled by the message we carry. When the message is of Truth, Beauty and love

No big surprise there.













I have been thinking a great deal about why I run. What pushes me out the door every single day to put one foot in front of the other and run 5 miles? It is so very hard to put into words but I really want to try.

Running is such an integral part of my life. A part of my every day routine. I simply don't feel right if I don't run. And by right, I mean I don't feel complete. There are things each of us do daily, and for me running is one of the daily things that I do. Is it a need? Perhaps? But, it is also a want.

I won't go into the obvious health reasons for running because we all know that already. Right? Not only physical but emotionally. The serotonin levels increase and anxiety and depression lessen. It's not rocket science. It's proven. Studies have been done. And I don't know about you runners, but after a particularly hard run, I am spent, sweaty, breathing hard, cursing why the fuck do I do this but I thank my lucky stars that I do indeed "run". It's a gift to me. And I take it.

I take from running what I give to running. Let me explain. I give it my all every day. I give as much as I can, and even when I feel I cannot, I still go out there. I give and I give. But, running has given back to me so so much more.

I feel incredible. I feel strong both physically and emotionally. I am no Kara Goucher nor will I ever be, but I am my own person who enjoys the sport of running. It gives me tremendous confidence. I am a much better person as a runner. I think I am very motivating and supportive to my running peers. I love to learn and I love to help out when I can.

I have lost weight because of running. Sure, I need to lose more weight but I am trying. I am trying every day to eat healthier even if I screw up and have a cupcake now and again. I don't mind because I enjoy those cupcakes.

I have met the most incredible friends through running. Long lasting friends. My running buddies up on my boardwalk are 20 year friendships. And every day that I run with them is like the first day. We never run out of things to talk about. We laugh, we cry and most importantly, we run.

My best running buddy is a man named Ted. . I am not that certain I want to say too much, this man is, besides my coach and inspiration, he is my extremely amazing friend. He is there for me 24/7. Always. NO.MATTER.WHAT. Besides, my family I don't think I can say that about too many people in my life. He is greatness personified. And I will leave it at that.

There are others. Many many other peeps. Bloggers, some of whom I've met and this place Daily Mile. . Facebook for runners/bikers/swimmers. Insanely incredible people. Like too good to be true people.

I do realize that at times, I seem obsessed with running. And perhaps, I am. Addicted may be a better word. But, you know what, if I have to be addicted to anything, I choose running. It makes me healthy. It makes me who I am. I don't define myself as a runner. But I do run. It is my passion. My lifetime passion.

The running community are a pretty awesome group. Honestly, I have never met a runner I did not like. And that is the truth. After the Brooklyn Half Marathon, a group of us went out for some food, my sister came along and she told me afterwards "WOW, what cool people you all are". Now, my awesome sister is doing the C25K running program. . When, she told me she was doing this, my heart leapt with joy. When she told me she ran for 90 seconds straight I had the biggest grin on my face. I must have looked like an even bigger dork than I already am. No worries, I didn't care. Just being able to share my passion with others, fills me with glee. Sister and I are running a 5K race on labor day weekend. We are doing it together and we will cross that finish line hand in hand.

When I broke my toe in January I was devastated but I knew I would be running again. When I got hit by a car way back in 1995 and shattered my ankle, oh I knew I would be running again. Running can be taken away from me, but I always get it back. Somehow, I just reach for it and it comes back to me. I may be much slower than I was, but I get the job done. I am not a quitter. If I start a race, I do not DNF unless I am injured and simply have to stop or else.

I have goals for the future. More races to be run. More PR's to be set. It will happen. If there is one thing I am positive about, it is running. It is sheer perfection.












Yeah, I run. Won't you join me?