Wednesday, April 23, 2008

The world spins madly on....Doesn't it?

The whole world is moving and I'm standing still

Today, the day after Earth day has to be a good day. Everybody did their part yesterday, our Earth must feel so much better. I felt it yesterday. I was in Manhattan most of the day and it was electric.

So, much happening yet it was very silent. People seemed to be deep in thought at every corner and on the bus i was riding. Green filled the air. Not only on the clothes we were wearing, but the smells and senses ooozed green.

Above, you will see a chair. Looks simple doesn't it? At the risk of sounding all crazy like, i have to tell you that "the chair" is special to me. This is my therapist's Liz's chair. It's where she plants her ass when i come to see her. It's a nice little chair, not the most comfy but it has meaning. It is the chair that Liz picked out for herself when she was designing this room.

I sat in it once. Not for the whole session, but for about 10 min. We switched places and it's funny, but when Liz sat where i normally sit, she looked so small to me and i felt like the one with the "power".

There it was! She showed me her vulnerable side. At that moment, and no other i realized that yes indeed, Liz is human. She has flaws just like the rest of us. Worries and concerns too. I went along all this time thinking she was, dare i say it...perfect. What is so bad about entering a room and having someone give you their undivided attention for 50 minutes and (at least) act like they care about you. This is both soothing and quite empowering.

Liz is human. She needs down time just like the rest of us humans.

But, i truly know she cares about me because she told me so. And i believe her. Sure, i am hard to deal with sometimes...she told me that too! But, i make her laugh even when i can't.

Lately, i've been much more serious in that room. We talk a lot about eating raw food. She never once critizied or put it down in any way.

I told a quick story here about me walking into therapy with a pastery that i bought out of sheer frustration for taking a wrong turn and getting completely and utterly lost on my way to therapy. So, i bought this nice pastery and brought it in with me. She took a look at it and me trying to get the saran wrap off of it and said very nicely "michelle, thats not raw is it?" So, i'm all like NO LIZ, DUH! Don't eat it, she said. At which point, i threw the damn thing at her. Well, it was more of a fling than a throw but you get my point here. She saved me from lots of possible guilt over eating it. (I wonder if she teared into that sucker when i left)

She encouraged me to be the best person i can be. I have learned to be much more open and honest, and to recognize my fears and articulate them to her. So, IMHO my therapy is helping ME! Nuff said.

In the city, yesterday i finally met a wonderful person named Duane. Here is his blog journal of a prize fighter. He's been through a lot but is, as he says..a true prize fighter! Good person, smart, funny..nice way to spend an afternoon. We talked for over 2 hours about pretty much anything and everything. I like Duane!

Health stuff: I need to go for this test...
A hysterosonogram is a procedure that allows doctors to examine the inside of the uterus and check for abnormalities with the use of ultrasound, which uses sound waves to produce an image.

1)I will be asked to remove my clothing from the waist down, and I will be given a sheet to cover myself
2)I will lie on an exam table, and my legs will be placed in stirrups.
The radiologist then cleans the vaginal area with a special soap.
3)A speculum (exam tool) is placed in the vagina. A small catheter (tube) is then placed into the vagina and through the cervix.
4)The sonographer then places the ultrasound probe and takes pictures of the uterus.
5)The radiologist then sends a small amount of saline into the uterine cavity through the catheter. The saline outlines the area to look for polyps, fibroids, or other problems.

UGH, UGH, and more UGH! I am so not a happy camper! I am too young, scared and so not in the mood. But...well you know, it has to be done! So, please send out some vibes my way please. Good vibes, funny vibes, whatever its up to you!

Other stuff to follow!
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