Monday, March 17, 2008

A never quiet mind....and sometimes it hurts!

Restlessness and discontent are the first necessities of progress.

So, i'm thinking this post will be a sharing post. Me, sharing. You, reading. Me, feeling like a fool. You, possibly laughing. So, lets see...

I feel like a loser today! Lots of reasons, but mostly i'm questioning my decision about eating 100% raw. Yeah, i know this sounds like something so very not loserish...but its really bothering me.

Here's what happened. Last week, all excited, i bought some beautiful kale. I decided instead of juicing it like i normally do, i would actually eat it whole. So, my friend told me what to do, and i did it. I carefully cut it in pieces, put in ever so gently in a big bowl, added the sea salt, olive oil and lemon juice and massaged away.

Now, don't get me wrong. This salad was absolutely delicious. I am proud of it, the color, texture and even smell was lovely. I ate it 3 nights in a row. I enjoyed it 3 nights in a row. Then the dreaded happened. I got GAS!!! Like picture the worst gas you ever had and then triple it, no gas x 10 is about right.

It hurt. The bathroom was my friend. Yeah, i like to have friends but the bathroom is not one of them. I like to get in and out, fast!!! So, it was with sad trepidation that i kinda spent a good portion of the weekend in THEIR!!! It wasn't fun. I got discouraged. I asked why? Now i'm pissed.

So, today..on my way to therapy i stopped at a nice little local coffee shop and got a coffee of the day and a very nice looking piece of cake. It was called cinnamon raisin something, it just called to me. It also tasted quite good to me. My therapist was absolutely surprised to see me with this pastry. It was great that she said "Michelle, put that away for now, its too distracting" i did. Later, i took it out again and Liz (love her so) said "How about, you give me that pastry, and i'll deal with it?" I literally threw the damn thing at her...she caught it in mid air, said "are you sure?" Oh yeah, i am!!!

Still, i feel discouraged today! I'm going to seriously rethink my decision to go raw! This is bad, i know. I am thinking i may lose a lot of readers and possibly friends???? I may even have to rename this blog. Don't know.

It's a big world, with so many choices. I have to narrow down my choices to what works for me and me alone! Does this make sense? I have learned so much these past 5 months. More than i ever hoped to learn. I've met wonderful people, each and every one of you, i love so much!

I just feel sad, confused and needed to get this out! I don't want the bathroom as a friend. Nope, not ever! OK?
blog comments powered by Disqus