Sunday, October 5, 2008

The Perfect Fit.....

Dresden Dolls - The Perfect Fit
i could make a dress
a robe fit for a prince
i could clothe a continent
but i can't sew a stitch

i can paint my face
and stand very very still
its not very practical
but it still pays the bills

The Dresden Dolls are an American musical duo from Boston, Massachusetts. Formed in 2001, the group consists of Amanda Palmer (vocals, piano, harmonica, ukelele) and Brian Viglione (drums, percussion, guitar, vocals). The two describe their style as "Brechtian punk cabaret", a phrase invented by Palmer because she was "terrified" that the press would invent a name that "would involve the word gothic." The Dresden Dolls are part of an underground dark cabaret movement that started gaining momentum in the early 1990s. Check out the Dresden Dolls here my space

I am a maverick of sorts. An independent thinker, non-conformist - rebel. This is who i am, who i strive to be. I go against the grain. I don't run in the same direction. I always look for and listen to new music. I try new and different foods. I am not adverse to trying new and different positions. I like to meet new friends and people who are different and interesting. I love talking and having interesting conversations.

Life has to be this way for me. The same old routines bore me. Sure, there are things i do on a regular basis, but mostly i stray. I live life as it is supposed to be lived. Intense and of great zeal, energy, determination, and concentration.

Do u control ur mind or does ur mind control u? Best way to figure it out. If u control it, u should be able to turn it off whenever u want. What if this life were just a dream? Would you choose to stay asleep and enjoy a beautiful dream. Or would you choose to wake up to reality? Funny part about chasing after things is that when you stop trying so hard and let go of trying to control, things start to chase you. So much to think about and take in.

I'm beginning to see my attraction to physical appearances lessen and the attraction to the consciousness in others greaten. Why are we attracted to things or people? Because we believe the someTHING or someONE posses something we don't already have. Be that beauty, a cool personality or just someone we can relate to. Nothing is good or bad in this world, just our own thinking that makes it so.

I kind of get this way with the approaching holidays. I sense a change in the air and in the minds of the people i know. Myself included. This is the time of year when people descend into deep depressions and upsets. They are alone and lonely watching it all unfold as they stroll the streets of NYC alone. They want to be a part of it all, yet they just watch from the sidelines. Some may try to embrace it, meander up to it and soak it in. Others just delve into the dark night of pity and self loathing.

I have promised myself that no matter how alone i feel i will never be lonely. I will make sure that i make things happen for myself. I control everything in my mind. This is a time of renewal and love and hope. If you think bad thoughts or allow yourself to feel badly, no doubt you will feel badly. The biggest advantage about taking full responsibility for your emotions is that it gives YOU the power to do something about it.

It's all power!! I' not saying you should not let yourself feel things, emotions, love, sure feel it, embrace it and make it your own. Do you desire something right now? Desire to me is a sense of longing for a person or object. The same sense is expressed by emotions such as "craving" . When a person desires something or someone, their sense of longing is excited by the enjoyment or the thought of the item or person, and they want to take actions to obtain their goal. I desire a lot, mostly things or goals i set for myself. When i obtain these desires i grow. I focus on it and realize there are feelings/sensations happening constantly. Your mind must interpret these sensations as either good or bad.

Is it a good thing to run 10 miles and pull a muscle? Is it a good thing to eat a piece of cooked dead food? Well, sure its quite amazing to run 10 miles (good thing) then you pull a muscle (bad thing) Eating a piece of meat may taste good (at first) then you realize how horrible it is for your health (bad) So there is always good and bad in every desire we have.

I must admit something here...i am a freaking moody woman!! I can go from feeling jubilant euphoria one moment to feeling as though i want to kick somebody in the face and make them bleed the next! From feeling a classic runners high to wanting to dig a hole and nestle down into it for the winter. All these feelings and moods happen real fast. Perhaps i am in the throes of bipolar mania? I suppose i shall have to discuss this with my beloved therapist Liz Lemon!!

Again, i worry where this blog is going. Am i doing the right thing and honoring my blog with my words? I need to feed Raw Cool amazing thoughts and feelings so she will want to continue on. Here's the way i see it:

At a funeral you have seen a dead body. You think to yourself "That definitely is their body, but thats not who they were. What was them, is now missing" Same thing here. I definitely do not want to look at this blog and see a dead blog. I see the blog but its not what it once was. I want this blog to be who i am, but so much more!!! I am working on it all in my mind. It's forming and almost ready to volcanically erupt.

My next post will be so much more, and possibly less. It takes time to cultivate and make it feel just right.

“Listen to people’s stories, and you’ll find that they could all be entitled “Why I Cannot Be at Peace Now”. The ego doesn’t know that your only opportunity for being at peace is now.”
Eckhart Tolle

I must keep moving!!!
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