Monday, May 11, 2009

The Beginner's Mind Is A Beautiful Place To Come From...

"You've always had a hard time finding your place in this world, haven't you? Never knowing your true worth. You can settle for less in ordinary life, or do you feel like you were meant for something better? Something special. "

Yes, I do! I absolutely think I was meant for something better. Something special. But what??

If I wasn't such a dork, I would be completely awesome.

Today, I feel dirty and my hair is confused. The blogs have taken a back seat this past week. Ive nothing to report Life is ruling. Attentions are elsewhere. Heart is swollen with goodness.

I need a haircut bad. It's been 7 months since my last haircut, forgive me father for I have sinned. I know its time because I can no longer see for the hair is hanging into my eyes. You should see when I run without a cap on. My curly unruly hair flops to and fro. Up and down. Then of course, the sweat that is gathered on the tips of my curls fling into my eyes burning them so, that I cannot see in front of me. Who knew that sweat in one's eyes would burn the fuck out of your cornea's and render you blinded.

I found this today:
"All human unhappiness comes from not facing reality squarely, exactly as it is. -Buddha

I can so relate to that quote up there. Reality sometimes bites. Reality sometimes sucks. But, if your not real and live in the real than WTF else is there? Living in a dream world? I don't know. I always say I like to keep it real. What does that even mean? Is it staying true to yourself, your faith, your life?? Is it? I do not want to conform to fit in with the rest of the world. I just don't.

“The essence of conformity is yielding to group pressure”.

Not me. Never me. If I conformed to peer pressure I would not be here writing at this very moment in time.

I like brunch do you? Think about it. It's the best of both worlds. Breakfast which is my favorite meal of the day, and lunch which is a bit more oh I don't know, middle of the dayish. You can do wonders with eggs and some imagination. Bread toasted or fresh hot out of the oven and some potatoes and you have yourself a meal fit for a queen.

I am certainly feeling the effects of almost 2 weeks of no real movement. And when I say movement, I do not mean taking a shit. I mean real movement. One foot in front of the other fast. Ok, I mean running. I hate it when I can't run. I hate how I feel. I won't attempt to explain how I feel when I run and immediately after. It won't make sense and unless you have felt it too, my remarks remain mute.

I am no slacker but I am quite daft, mad, insane and merry. Oh and I am frivolous. What you have I lack but I don't care. I used to really care a lot about what other's thought of me. Now I skip and frolic and laugh mostly all the time. Sure, I cry. But, its fleeting.

So back to running, check this out half marathon course. I like seeing it that way, makes it seem familiar to me.

Anyway, the hope I was feeling in my previous post is carrying over onto this one. It's spilled and splattered. I am confident that I will be running again very soon. I see doctor tomorrow to recheck my toe and he will check the shin. The MRI is there for him to review. Then I do a Trader Joe's - Whole Foods run. To stock up on all things healthy and good and tasty and happy.

I did have a lunch date. It had to be cancelled due to scheduling stuff but he is an old friend. A good old friend. I would say more but the more is too long. Another post perhaps. We will do sushi. My request because I remember how much he loves his sushi. That and all things sports.

I am still feeling dirty and my hair is still confused. I can't seem to help it either. The confusion is getting worse. It doesn't seem to remember to do what I want it to do. I think I need to SHUT.IT.DOWN.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep.
~ Robert Frost
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