I think I have swine flu. And I think I am bleeding into my brain. I also think I have a fractured or broken shin bone.
Put all three together and it makes for a very unhappy raw cool.
At the bank today, I suddenly noticed how everybody around me was sniffling and coughing and also sneezing. I wouldn't have thought anything of it, but then all of a sudden I was sniffling, coughing and most of all sneezing. It occurred to me that the swine flu was still a bit of an issue so I whipped out a few kleenex and tried my best to cover my mouth area. I looked all around me and realized that the others (what I like to call people) were quite close in proximity to me. This sent me into panic mode and I quickly dispatched a whole litany of "hey don't you people carry purell with you?" TO "hey don't you people know its swine flu season?" TO "hey stay away from me please"
I guess it worked because slowly the others started backing away from me, mostly in fear I assume. Which was fine for me because all of a sudden I had the whole bank to myself.
Liz Lemon in action!
I know your all anxious to hear why I think I am bleeding into my brain right? I thought I would go in order of what happened last, then move backwards to what happened in between and then of course what happened first. Makes sense right?
So, yesterday I was gingerly stepping into my shower. Visualize this. I am in my birthday suit, you know kinda nude/naked or without clothes and I bent down to pick something up from the floor, don't ask me what I was picking up, for I have no memory of that time in my life. So, yeah as I was then lifting my body back up into standing position or demi-plie if you will I didn't see this coming, but the sink suddenly made contact with my upper forehead. I stood there in mid plie wondering what the heck just happened.
I feel around - MY HEAD FOLKS - and I felt a huge bump or goose egg as its called in these here parts. OH.MY.GOODNESS! I freaked out. Of course, I took my shower, I did smell after all, and then began a series of icing that lasted well into the evening. I even started forgetting just why I was sitting on my sofa icing my forehead. It all seems like such a blur and it only happened in 1974. Ooops I mean yesterday.
So, when I searched the internets I read that bleeding in the brain can occur.
Occasionally, a blow to the head may be severe enough to cause bleeding in or around the brain. This type of bleeding is serious because it can put pressure on the brain. Seek immediate medical attention if your child exhibits the following signs or symptoms after a head injury:
Although a concussion is unlikely with a hematoma, seek immediate medical attention if your child has memory loss or confusion after a head injury.
So, now I am totally confused because I don't know if it is my child who has a hematoma or if it is I who has a hematoma or if I even have a child?? I think you can all see my dilemma right?
We live in precarious times folks. These are all real and sudden and can happen without any warning whatsoever.
I know! I twitter - I facebook - I read - it's out there.
Your wondering about my shin now aren't you? I think since my swine flu/brian bleed is acting up, I think I will share that with you another day. I don't want to put too much undue pressure on my readership. I'm good that way. I care!
I was trying, without success to pull my ear off. You know us creative types. We do what we can to be different from the "others"
If you have a headache, rejoice, for you have a head.