Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Suddenly I See...

Her face is a map of the world
Is a map of the world
You can see she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
And everything around her is a silver pool of light
The people who surround her feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm
She holds you captivated in her palm

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

I feel like walking the world
Like walking the world
You can hear she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
She fills up every corner like she's born in black and white
Makes you feel warmer when you're trying to remember
What you heard
She likes to leave you hanging on her word

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

And she's taller than most
And she's looking at me
I can see her eyes looking from a page in a magazine
Oh she makes me feel like I could be a tower
A big strong tower
She got the power to be
The power to give
The power to see

I am no longer the age I was 18 years ago.
I am unable to run 7 minute miles.
I need to accept that and more.
It is hard.
Running is part of my life, but is it the only thing in my life, NO. Do I enjoy running, YOU BET I DO!
Tomorrow I will be having my first ever MRI. WHY? Because I was stupid perhaps? Because I did not listen perhaps?

I have been unable to run for 5 days now. Suddenly, I see. A LOT! It is so hard for me to put this into words but I want to try.

Again, running is not the ONLY thing in my life. But, it has afforded me many wonderful things. I've simply met the best folks who "get" me. So who cares if I am got? Really who cares? I am my own person and I know who I am. You "get" me and that is great, you don't and that is also great.

When I broke my TOE it gave me a lot of time to think. I missed running A LOT but I also used that time for creativity and making new acquaintances, rekindling the old ones and knowing in my heart of hearts that life does go on. I will go out on a limb here to say that the best time of my life is yet to come.

Suddenly I see, that. It is staring me straight in the face. Actually, it is punching me in the nose hard. I cannot define myself by whether or not I run. I love it. It makes me feel whole and great, but there are many other interests that I have. My greatest first love is writing.

I am not good at it really, but I want to be. By reading the many amazing blogs out there and researching I know what I must do. Suddenly, I see. Too much maybe. I close my eyes when it gets to much.

Liz Lemon tells me and shows me the way. I am grateful for her in my life. A safe haven magical place that I can call my own. She knows me way better than I know myself so sometimes she has to stop and introduce me to myself. It's cool that way. I am always pretty happy to meet me. Unless, I am in one of those moods, you know? The kind where everything and everybody sucks? Oh come on, I bet you all get into that mood every so often? Well, I do and I am not afraid to admit it. WWLLD? Ask yourself that question. See what answer you come up with.

Check this out from a dear friend:
1. When its over its over
2. When it begins is always the right time
3. Whatever i did today is exactly what needed to be done
4. Who ever shows up are exactly the right people.

I think this is pretty fucking cool! THANK YOU DEAR FRIEND!

1) It's over - move on!
2) Hey today is a good day to start that! It's just right!
3) I vacuumed today and told somebody I loved them. It needed to be done!
4) If you are there peeking in, I want you to stay!

Suddenly I see. The remaining time I get to spend with my mom needs to be special and dear. I know that life ends, but I want to make her life the best it can be for however long she is here with me. She is an extraordinary woman.

So, my MRI couldn't come at the worse possible time. I am training for goodness sakes. HALF MARATHON on MAY 30th. NOTHING WILL STOP ME FROM COMPLETING THIS. I have an incredible friend running the damn thing with me. He has promised to stick with me, fucking skip the thing if need be. I can't disappoint even though he told me he will not be happy with me if I run in pain.

I wonder what the Universe is trying to say to me?? I have no clue really!!
I know, I know, Michelle! Send them a thought form! You know, a bundle of clearly formed ideas that will communicate, disarm, inform, instruct, guide, heal, or whatever else you choose.

Just be sure you're clear with yourself about the outcome you're really after before you send it, because, boy, it really works, especially when sent with love. It's almost creepy.

Yeah, you'll wonder why you haven't done it all of your life, until you realize, in one way or another, that you have.
Whoops, I did it again -
The Universe

Any photographers out there? I am trying to get my camera on??

Suddenly, I SEE!!!
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