Tuesday, November 18, 2008

What Would Liz Lemon Do???

Liz Lemon on 30 Rock

For quite some time now I've been convinced that Tina Fey is stealing my thoughts, because I've said and/or done a lot of the things Liz Lemon has said/done - exactly. Even the weird stuff, like making someone do The Worm as punishment (did that to my BFF in 9th grade, haven't had the opportunity to do it as an adult) and the bit about sitting in the dark in her nightgown watching The Love Boat and mixing together orange soda and cream soda - I seriously did the exact same thing as a kid, the I am, however, proud to say that I've never pooped my pants at a buffet, and if I did, I would not stick around for a second plate of shrimp.

And I think it's great that Liz's love life is so realistic as well, and that Tina hits all the right notes despite not really experiencing that herself (since she met her husband at a fairly young age).

I'd fashion a tin foil hat to keep her from stealing my thoughts, but she makes them so damn funny and entertaining, instead of weird and kinda depressing. Now if only I could get a Jack Donaghy in my life to mentor me and to show me how to do that thing that rich people do where they use their money to make more money...

I think there are a lot of women out there who really relate to Liz Lemon. I know I do. Everything from wanting to stay home and order in really fattening, carbo loaded food with extra bread, having trouble getting and keeping a boyfriend. Being an attractive woman, who started off life being overweight and over looked by men, who is now blossoming as a babe in her late 30's (Ok 40's) and doesn't really see it. (She'll always see herself as awkward) When Jack told Liz that the reason why he likes her is because she is weird and a social retard, I screamed..."SO AM I!". In fact, I had a friend once who said that to me, and it stuck.

I don't know, i guess i have some sort of girlie crush on Liz Lemon. She's really hysterical. So, here's the thing:
My therapist, her name is Liz. So, ok wait for it........wait for it......wait for it......
I call her Liz Lemon! Sheesh, that was like waiting for a fart to come and go!

It's pretty cool because she thinks its funny and allows me to call her Liz Lemon. Not sure what that says about her either but i find it pretty freaking rad!!

So, when i find myself in situations where i literally have no clue what to do, i stop and think to myself "What the fuck would Liz Lemon do???" I do. Would she date that guy? Would she eat that crappy cupcake? Would she spend her last dollars on nail polish?? Would she?

Probably not, but i do!! But, just stopping and thinking things through makes an incredibly big difference in what i would do in more treacherous situations. I won't subject you to the perilous ridiculousness of my days, but lets just say sometimes i need guidance.

Fucking Liz Lemon, she rocks!! I don't know how many of you are in any form of therapy and i am not asking, but i am and i am proud. Here is the way Liz Lemon describes it:
You have 50 minutes to talk about whatever the fuck you want to talk about and I Liz Lemon will give you my undivided attention even if you bore me to tears!!! Even if you talk about ridiculous stuff that i've heard 1000 times before. Even if you ask me how fat you look or if i like your shoes or if your nail polish matches your shirt!!! Yep, i will listen! But, i will listen even more attentively if you bribe me with Starbucks lattes and a cupcake once in a while.

Yes, isn't she special? I think so!!!

So, i wanted to ask you guys a question....this should be fun.

So lately, I've been obsessively erasing my google search history, because I'm worried someone will find a weird list of searches similar to "singles yoga" and "scalp pain" when they use my computer.

Here are three things i searched for on google:

  • Things prohibited from mailing
  • yorkshire pudding
  • world's best cake donuts

I...am going to go hang my head in shame. Then go eat a donut!  Notice how 2 out of the 3 are food related.

So, i am asking...what are some of your google searches?  I am so very curious!  

Oh, just to ease your minds, lots of my google searches involve stuff like:

  • How to get your mojo back (dude i was asking for a friend)
  • What is mojo??
  • How to make a mojo mojito?
  • Is there scotch involved?
  • When you have mojo does everybody see it?
So, yeah those are the normal ones?  The ones i am not mortified to admit!  So, lets have it folks!!!  I want to know your googles searches!!!  Come on, play along nicely!!

So, i will leave you with this great photo! The two people on earth i have crushes on right now!! Jon Hamm and Liz Lemon...ooops i mean Tina Fey!

Dating???? Stay tuned. It may be real!!! Or not!

Liz: Whoa, excuse me, there's a line, buddy.
Man: There's two lines.
Liz: No. No, there's one line; we're in it.
Man: I'm just getting a hot dog.
Liz: We're all getting hot dogs! What, you think there's two lines and we're all in this line? You're the only genius who got in the other line? Can you believe this guy?

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