Saturday, January 10, 2009

Honesty??? What is That??? Post #201

Cake - Sheep go to Heaven
I'm not feeling alright today,
I'm not feeling that great,
I'm not catching on fire today,
Love has started to fade,

I'm not going to smile today,
I'm not gonna laugh,
You're out living it up today,
I've got dues to pay,

No idea, i just like it is all!!!

My first ever award and my #201 post!!! Pretty fucking cool!

I was given the Honest Scrap award by the amazingly gorgeous Simplicity over at chasingwentworthmiller Me? LIttle old me? An honesty award!!

So the rules to accepting my award are as follows: A) first list 10 honest things about yourself - and make it interesting, even if you have to dig deep! B) pass the award on to 7 bloggers that you feel embody the spirit of the Honest Scrap.

So, please join me on the magical mystery tour i like to call 10 honest things about raw cool. That would be me!!!

1) Even though it doesn't seem possible i am a pretty shy chica. Well let me preface that by saying i was much MORE shy as a child and teenager. I am way less shy now but still. Here is what my mind goes through when trying to have a meaningful conversation.

My mind - Yikes there's ------! Perhaps i should look down and pretend i didn't see him? Perhaps, i should try to ask him a question. Perhaps, i smell?? Should i say anything? Should i offer him money? Should i give him my first born????

Real life -
Me - Oh, hmm, hi what up dude?? Hmm, oh the weather? Yeah where ya been? How you? Yikes i will shut up now!!

So, perhaps when i say shy i really mean not knowing what the fuck to say EVER!!!!

2) I am a member of a dating service that i never used. WTF? Yes, i wasted precious money on this endeavor. Oh i did peruse the site a few times only to find that whenever i clicked on "my matches" i saw the exact same 20 men that i saw 2 months ago. Nothing changed and the men i saw 2 months ago looked infinitely worse today. Their profiles sucked, their photos were non existent and i hated myself even more.

3) Running - WOOHOO! I bet you all were waiting for me to mention this. Then see how i would tie it in to an honestly list. Well, you know how i say how much i love running. There are days when i fucking hate it. So much, Yet i drag my ass out there to get it done. And i see the sunrise and i still hate it. And i hear the ocean's lapping onto the shore and i still hate it. And i see other runners with smiles on their faces and i hate it even more. And then i finish my five miles and somehow then and only then, i love running again! I also always have to wear running outfits that match and look cool. My running friend wears running clothes that she's had for the past 20 years. I look at her and think WTF??? Only the latest and greatest for me!!! Cause i love running so much!! Only when i don't hate it!!!

4) I do not know how to be a friend. I always think i do and i always think i am doing the right things. But apparently i am not doing anything right. Or apparently my definition of friendship is vastly differently than the definitions of the friends i think are my friend. Make sense?? I know not really. Let's just say i've learned my lessons and i am good at flicking the fleas off!

5) I think and analyze things way too much. Like all the time. I do not know why i can't just let things roll off my shoulders and down to the floor. I do not know why i keep everything inside and mostly to myself. I take what people say too seriously. If someone says to me "Hey i will do this at this time and call you at this time" Well i take them at their word. And guess what? It never happens that way. Sure, shit happens and time goes by. You get busy. I get that. Just don't say things you can't or won't full fill like EVER!!!!

6) I have been in therapy for a while now. And i don't care who knows it. Her name is Liz Lemon. Hence, What would Liz Lemon do or WWLLD for short? It's this thing i do. When i am having a problem or situation that i cannot handle on my own i stop and thing WWLLD?? Not that she is perfect or anything. Far from it and she will be the first to admit that, but she tends to do exactly the opposite of what i do in sticky situations. She stops and thinks and doesn't do anything more. I, may stop and think but then i may do something stupid. But, i am learning. Slowly. To think before i speak or act. It is the best thing anybody can do for themselves, i think!!! Or is it?

7) I twitter. A lot. It's fun. It's fun to try to write something, anything really in 140 characters or less. There are times when what i want to say is over 140 characters, i spend ridiculous amounts of time widdling down the sentence to under 140 characters but still have it make sense to someone reading it. I also facebook. This one intrigues me. People find you. People you never thought even think about you, find you. They find you and friend you. Then you leave comments on each others face book page. Things like "oh i haven't seen you in like forever, what have you been up to for the past 15 years??" Then you answer and ask the same ridiculous question right back to them. And so it goes!!

8) I love music so very much. I used to be limited in my musical tastes BIP (before iPod). But, now that i have the glories of the internet and itunes plus free MP3's from various sites i am enthralled at the amazing music that is out there. When i find a song i love, i will listen to it over and over again for days, weeks, even months. Literally. Then i memorize the lyrics and get to sing along. My iPod is always with me. Even on the toilet. Hey a woman needs her entertainment on the toilet doesn't she?? I have close to 6000 songs on my iPod plus videos and 2 movies. I am a geek for sure. A dork perhaps?? And definitely a nerd for i like gadgets and fun techy stuff. I would rather attend a tech gadget show than a make up, clothes thing. Yep!!!

9) I cannot sew or do anything crafty. I cannot even draw a stick figure to make it look like anything anybody would recognize. This bothers me. I love to be creative and i love art, yet i suck at it. It's as though i am missing the artistic gene or something. Or is there even a gene for that kind of stuff???

10) I used to be a raw foodie. It was fun and interesting and i met some amazing folks yet i couldn't pull it off 100%. Food is such a big part of my being. I think about what i will eat for breakfast as i am eating dinner the night before. I like to plan my meals out in my head the day before so the next day there will be no thinking or deciding or contemplating what i will be eating. I do not eat the same things day in and day out, except for breakfast. That is always oatmeal. With toppings. I cannot get enough of it. I would eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner but i need some protein i think!! Perhaps i obsess about food. Perhaps i obsess about everything????

I've decided to not actually give this award to specific bloggers because there are way to many amazing bloggers out there for me to choose just 7 bloggers. If i could, i would give this award to every single blogger on my blog roll. Well, i could couldn't I? So i am. Everybody on my blog roll or everybody who wants to do this, well get on with it please!!!

Peace out homies!!!!
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