Thursday, March 19, 2009

The Recalcitrant Runner.....

Kate Nash - Nicest Thing

Snow Patrol - You Could Be Happy

Regina Spektor - Raindrops

Coldplay - Yellow

You all know me by now, and you know I am quite difficult and defiant and I resist authority I do not obey orders nor do I listen to or comply with my doctor's orders. I am rebellious, stubborn and basically pretty fucking ridiculous. Childish and I don't like to follow the rules.

So, before I start to grovel and seem quite pathetic I thought I would include some cool music I am digging at the moment. I found this cool youtuber who makes nice animation videos and I want to share! It is called musicANDmuffins.

Ok, so dear Fhina turned me on to this word: RECALCITRANT and it describes me to perfection. What I need to do is try to understand WHY I do what I do. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know that running is not the right thing to do. I also know running is not the smartest thing to do. I also know running is not anything I should be doing at this moment in time.

I will not use any excuses. It's not right and it makes me sound even more fucking ridiculous. I am not a child. Far from it. I know that if there is any chance for me to run again, I need to NOT run now. It is so simple yet I make it complicated.

Self destructive behavior, to me, is when we neglect our bodies and do not give them rest and exercise OR when we drive ourselves, overworking or over exercising to please others or to make ourselves feel okay. Perhaps, just perhaps this is what I am doing?? I don't really know, but I had a long talk with Liz Lemon today and we (I) have a plan. A good plan for me to work on and achieve.

I really want you all to know how much I appreciate you all. Let me try to put it into mere words.
  • You never put me down, laughed at me or made me feel inadequate.
  • You have become my friends and I feel as though I can be totally open and honest.
  • No matter how foolish I sound I have never felt that I am being judged.
  • Blogging can be as impersonal or personal as you make it. Here I can be pretty upfront.
  • Each day that passes makes me realize and respect and love all of you even more!

    There is so much more I want to say but here is the bottom line:
    I am not going to run until I am given the go-ahead by my doctor. I also intend to get a 2nd opinion just because. I am using the ultrasound machine faithfully. I did see Dr. TOE today for my toe to be rewrapped and Dr. TOE said no harm done. For that I am grateful.

The Universe told me today:
People, when given a chance, Michelle, smile, skip, and dance.

They create, play, and laugh.

They care, share, and love.

And the ones who don't, haven't yet realized that chances are something you give yourself.
Double dare you,
The Universe

"Just because you make a mistake doesn't mean you are a

Oh, not to worry, I should be back to my regularly scheduled silliness tomorrow!!! K??
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