Friday, March 13, 2009

Persistent Positive Outlook On Life.....

Lately, I am thinking about things. Why is it, that us humans can't seem to get along with each other?? What is it with all the bickering and lack of understanding?? Why can't we just say "hey, I get it" I get why your doing that!!! I respect you and love you!!! And get on with it!!! WHY??

I know, asking why is futile!! It is the same as a five year old asking why is the sky blue?? At that very moment, there is no answer that may placate the youngster!! Actually, come to think of it I still to this day ask WHY IS THE SKY BLUE??? Yeah so?

I like that video up there. "Getting along" Simple really isn't it?? Those animals got it down. They are hip to the ways of the world. They know that getting along is the way to go.

My February 21st post you-could-be-happy talked about a good friend of mine, a doctor who lost a 9 year old patient. Nicole...the daughter of one of her nurses. It is just about 3 weeks now and she told me today that she is being sued. FUCK!!!!

She is really distraught and upset over this. She is not upset over the fact that she is being sued, although she should be, she is more upset at this horrible tragedy that robbed a young life and that she thinks she didn't do all she can to save her. She is depressed and turning inward to herself. She wants to be alone a lot which is so not like her. She doesn't want to talk to anybody, which is again, so not like her.

All I can offer at this point is my ears!!! To listen. To say "its not your fault" over and over again. She said to me today that in all her 38 years of being a physician this has been the worst time she's had. She doesn't want the case to go to trial, she wants it settled and the mom Tania to have some $$$$. Thats all she wants.

The autopsy came back inconclusive. Actually it showed nothing. They then checked her heart and there they saw that a virus attacked it and she just died. Really no rhyme or reason here.

The girls that work for her are all primarily russian. They all think the office is cursed and want to do some sort of ceremony to get rid of the curse so they can then all work without fear. My friend is allowing this to happen. She seems resigned to agree to mostly anything at this point.

Again, I had no words. Yesterday was her birthday. There was no celebration. Her request. I sent her a card with a gift inside. She was appreciative but reluctant to accept it. I insisted and she said OK Michelle Thanks!!! She is my running mentor. Since I have not been running (well sort of) she has been running partly with her husband but mostly alone. She told me this time running alone has been really therapeutic for her. I am happy about that.

I am writing this post just as much as a tribute to her as a way of therapy for me. I hope that she can get through this and come out the other side all happy again. She has 1 granddaughter and one on the way. Nina needs her to be a strong grannie!!! Perhaps, she cares to much??

Which brings me back to getting along!!! I've had my share of shit in that area. I am a narcissist. I am mean spirited. I am horrible human being. These were some of the things i was told. By someone who now has no relevance in my life. It just haunts me how this person would think that of me. It haunts me because I am letting it haunt me. I can control my thoughts and feelings. But the fucking thoughts are there. And I hate it.

BUT, I will not let that shit get me down. I am way better than that. I know I am not a narcissist. I know I am not mean spirited. And I know I am not a horrible human being. I know it and you know it. So FUCK the person who said it. My life is so much better than all that. That one person is THE ONLY person I refuse to have in my life. So, if in the rest of my entire life I only have ONE person who I would turn away from, I WIN!!!!!

Check this out:

You all may have seen this but it is worth watching again, and again!!! Brings tears to my eyes how a simple reunion between man and animal is so special.


I think a lot of my readers may need to start this treatment!!! Please!!! It's pretty fucking annoying!!!!

I just want to thank the people that are praying. For a friend. Thanks!!!!!

The Universe told me this today:
Never underestimate, Michelle, how many friends you have, how close you are, and how much fun you're going to have.
Because, as you've seen throughout your entire amazing life, one usually gets exactly what they've been estimating.

You thrill me,
The Universe

Walt Whitman
Re-examine all you have been told . . . Dismiss what insults your Soul.

Delicious Ambiguity.

You laugh at me because I'm strange I laugh at you because your stupid!

In a world of nonsense, everything something is, it isn't, everything it would be wouldn't, and everything it wasn't, was.

Life's a garden dig it
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