My Crazy Sexy Life.....

"Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie."

-- William Shakespeare







At least i think i'm hip!

So, the wonderful Kris Carr has added a wonderful forum to her arsenal. It's all about love and friends and life and canser and not having canser and did i mention love? It's all there, in black and white and color! Kris just has a way of making everything seem like a rainbow. Right after a summer rain. You all know what i mean. The kind of rainbow that takes your breathe away and makes you say "WOW".

There's so much to do and read and look at over at Crazy Sexy Life. It's kind of hard to describe! You just have to be there i guess. I highly recommend you checking it out!

So, here's the deal. If you are a lover of life and want to have fun, leave me a comment as to why you feel that way! Tell me something fun about youself. It can be almost anything OK? Leave me your email address and i will send you an invite. It's that simple folks.

Computer $1000
High speed modem $350
Computer desk $200
Mouse $20
Crazy sexy life PRICELESS

This is me....

"There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will."

I would like to wish myself a happy anniversary! Today, marks exactly 1 month since i've started running again. You may wonder...where is she running, to what, to whom? Does she ever stop running? Well, the simple answer is no. The more complex answer is why would i want to stop? I don't run to or from anything. I just run. If there is such a thing as a runners high, i suppose i feel that too. Running, gives me strength. Sure, it makes my legs look 100% better than it did last month. Sure, when i finish a 4 mile run, i have a big smile on my face, even though i can hardly breathe! But, its more than that. It's almost spiritual in a way. It gives me what i need to start my day and then my day is just that much better. Maybe, i am chasing a distant dream but isn't that a good thing? Dreams and fantasies and thoughts always somehow make me feel as though i am a part of a bigger, brighter more loving world.

Saturday, is March 1st. Start of the first ever global juice feast!! It's extremely exciting and inspirational to say the least. As i have written here i was all set to start exactly at the stroke of midnight. I purchased all the recommended supplements, put aside some money for the first month and spruced up my Breville and it stands ready and waiting. Thing is, i'm not quite ready. Somehow, in the last month i felt a pull, not towards juice feasting but away from it, the total opposite. Eating! Yep, plain and simple i like to eat. I enjoy the tastes and textures, the colors, smells, the sweetness and the savory. So, what i have decided is possibly juicing 2X a day and have 1 raw meal. This may work, this may not work. I simply do not know! It's really all kind of a big experiment to see what works exactly right just for you!!!!

Well, maybe not exactly right, it may never be exactly 100% right, but your body will lead you the right way. I'd like to quote a friend here if i may! Her name is Dee and i am sure many of you know her, she's terrific by the way!

"You all have it in you, it’s just a matter of whether or not you have the cohones to bust it out, embrace it, love it, smother it, and never let it go. The possibilities of what you can become are endless, but nobody can make those possibilities a reality but you. You owe it to yourself to at least try, I promise it will be hard, and I promise it’ll get harder before it gets easier, but I also promise that you will never, ever, not even for one moment, regret it. You may ask, ‘what’s there to gain/lose?’ and that’s just it, everything. Isn’t that worth it?"


So, thats my decision. I hope everybody here understands and supports me! Somehow, i am worried that i am disappointing everybody, but most of all i feel like i am disappointing myself. I almost feel like a failure but then....i read the words of a friend who never ever complains! Never! And, she may have some things to complain about once in a while. It's her positivity that makes me realize that my decision is the right thing for me!

I love life, i really do! There's so much to learn and i want to soak it all up. There will always be another global juice feast right??

The queen of selective writing....

“I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.”

I was all ready to post about something totally different, but the events of today has made me change my mind. At the risk of sounding spiritless or insipid i will forge ahead with my thoughts.

First off, i actually had a good day. I accomplished things that had long been put off due to a variety of reasons. It felt good. I guess you can say i had a very fulfilled day and i feel pleased with myself.

I think i've mentioned that lately, i've been proud to make the aquaintences of various people here on the "net". Now, maybe and i use the word maybe very lightly, maybe i become a little too attached to the newness of these friendships. I simply do not know. I care. I care deeply for people that i may very well never meet. So, when something scary happens to any of these people, it upsets me. I want to help, i just don't know how. I want to be there, yet i don't quite know where "there" is.

I realize that i am scarily paying pedantic attention to details here. I am distracted by my thoughts. I usually go through life saying "it is what it is" meaning in a nutshell, "this is the way its going right now, and thats how it is." kind of a way to say: dont overthink the situation. a reminder to keep things simple, dont overanalyze things, or a way to put a definition on something thats hard to explain. Insert "tough shit" here!

So, i'm ranting here. Not making much sense even to my over-stimulated mind. Things always have a way of working out. I truly believe that.



I think tomorrow i'd like to talk about the global juice feast. Lots to say about that just have to organize my thoughts.

Lastly, Philip over at lovingraw has brought to my attention a wonderful raw chocolate site
gnosis chocolate

Vanessa Barg, owner of Gnosis Chocolate and Certified Holistic Health Counselor is a chocolate alchemist, and has really done an amazing job with combining a love for chocolate with potent superfoods and medicinal herbs. Besides the delicious taste, and the love for cacao, some of her clients and customers are even experiencing physical healing from the ingredients contained within her bars.

A message from Vanessa:

Most of you have heard that I make chocolate – many of you have tasted it at raw events, some of you have bought the bars in NYC retail stores, and others have ordered it through my website…. I want to thank you SO much for your support with this GI2MR Gnosis 4-Pak Special Offer! Here's the site: gnosis special These chocolates will certainly fill the need for anybody with a sweet tooth. Simply terrific!

I know this post is all over the place, but thats because my mind is as well. It is what it is!!!

I am shocked. Shocked and appalled!!!

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'
Conan O'Brien




I meant to post this much earlier in the day, but you know how that goes. Today, at 5.30PM Starbucks is closing its doors for three long caffeine-deprived hours at more than 7000 of its US locations, in a massive plan to "retrain" its barristers in the art of brewing its famous cup of joe. Starbucks described this lapse in service as "espresso excellence training.

Now, i don't know about you guys but aren't there many other places to purchase coffee in the big cities? In fact, i read that to compete, rival Dunkin' Donuts will drop its price for a small coffee down to $0.99 from 1 p.m. to 10 p.m. as "to ensure that no coffee lover is denied a delicious espresso-based beverage." Oh my!!!

Maybe, its me but i'm just not feeling this. Are people so very addicted to their caffeine that Dunkin' Donuts had to do this? I mean don't get me wrong, a $0.99 cut of coffee is quite enticing especially when coupled with a warm jelly donut. What i don't understand is some of the thoughts of some young people in NYC...Here is a quote..."A lot of people come here (starbucks) to make out, read, sleep (huh). I can't imagine how lost people will be". Here's another "What am i supposed to do, make it myself? (yikes). Mind you this is coming from an 18 year old and a 22 year old. Now an older wiser 27 year old said this "the closures are cool beans (who says cool beans anymore?) "if its going to be an improvement, i look forward to the change".

I used to be a Starbucks fan, big time! Everybody always asked me...why? I said because it tastes good and i like the music they play! Mind you, i never made out, read or slept in Starbucks. This whole thing just rings funny to me. Whatever can they do to retrain the barristers to be more espresso trained? Beats me!!!! It's 5.34PM, Starbucks has been closed for 4 min! Oh my!

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guy: Well, what do you think? Do you like it? It's just a demo, you know...
Guy's Dad: It's fucking brilliant.
Guy: Really?
Guy's Dad: Fantastic stuff. That'll be a hit, no question.

listen to the song!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, i admit it...my name is Michelle and i am a music geek! (hello michelle)...

So, Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova just won the Oscar for Best original song from the movie Once for the song Falling Slowly! Oh, they also performed the song at the Oscars. The Oscars!!!! See this movie folks! Here's some stuff...

'There is a certain poetry in a Grafton Street busker playing the Oscars," grins Glen Hansard.

"I feel like a plumber at a flower show. The indie rocker in me wants to say it's a load of bollocks, but if you are gonna get an award in this life, why not try and get yourself an Oscar?" The 37-year-old Dublin musician's life has the kind of fairy-tale arc that would make a good film, if it hadn't already been turned into one.

Hansard is the co-star of Once, a shoe-string budget feature (made for under £100,000) about an Irish busker and his platonic relationship with a Czech immigrant, played by 19-year-old Marketa Irglova. From extremely humble beginnings ("We never even thought it was going to get released, we just thought we might sell some DVDs after gigs"), it went on to win an award at the 2007 Sundance Film Festival and become one of the art-house hits of the year, grossing $7 million in its first three months.

And, it doesn't hurt that Glen is quite easy on the eyes or should i say he's eye candy????

There will be blood....and briefly the Oscars!!!!

"Drainage! Drainage, Eli, you boy. Drained dry. I'm so sorry. Here, if you have a milkshake, and I have a milkshake, and I have a straw. There it is, that's a straw, you see? You watching?. And my straw reaches acroooooooss the room, and starts to drink your milkshake... I... drink... your... milkshake!" Daniel Planiview

Exhilarating, suspenseful, chilling and beautiful.

i heard once that the reason people stand whenever the 'hallelujah chorus' is performed is because it was first performed for a king, and he was so moved by it, he simply stood up during the song. this movie is just like that.

i'm happy to be alive and at an age where i can appreciate this sort of thing now, because 50 years from now, people will surely say, 'i wonder what it was like to see that movie in theaters when it had just been released.'

when i say, 'you should go see this movie,' i don't mean it's really entertaining, a good way to spend a Saturday night, worth the price of admission or what have you. i mean it in the way that i think everyone should see the sistine chapel, read hemingway, listen to beethoven's 9th symphony and so on. it will certainly be remembered for generations to come as an important work of art.

Daniel Day Lewis's performance was chilling - the themes of family, good vs. evil, and greed topped with the multi-layered visuals presented by Mr. Anderson had my head swirling in film-geek delight. Brilliant film!


Much talk surrounded “There Will Be Blood” before it even started shooting. Adapted from a 1927 novel called “Oil!”, the lead character Daniel Plainview was a rich and complex one that a lot of people thought Day Lewis would be able to shine in. But for me, I had no expectations walking in because other than buzz… I hadn’t seen one single clip or one single trailer for the film… which doesn’t happen often for me. It was kind of a nice feeling.

THE GENERAL IDEA

Daniel Plainview is a hard working and determined man at the start of the 1900’s who seems limitless in his pure determination to succeed. A miner searching for gold and silver, Plainview changes directions when he accidentally discovers oil on one dig. When one of his crew members is killed in a digging accident, Plainview adopts the man’s baby son as his own, telling no one, not even the boy, that he isn’t his natural son. As the years pass and Plainview becomes more and more successful, he develops a deep and loving fatherly relationship with his son, H.W. Plainview and even tells people the young boy is his “Partner”. But when Daniel is told of a rich oil deposit in a small faith lead community, Plainview begins to reveal his darker side. Pushed by greed and spite, Plainview quickly comes to odds with the community’s young fanatical religious leader, Eli (played by Little Miss Sunshine’s Paul Dano). Hatred, ego, love, greed and deception all boil to the surface like oil.


The entire background set up is told in the first 5 minutes of the film… WITHOUT ONE SINGLE WORD OF DIALOG! It was fantastic! So, i loved There will be Blood!

Now, i just want to take a moment to list the films up this year for Best Picture at the Oscars:


Picture Nominees: No Country For Old Men, Atonement, There Will Be Blood, Michael Clayton, Juno

I saw 3 out of the 5 films...i still need to see Atonement and Michael Clayton! I am conflicted because i loved Juno but honestly, it is not anywhere near the caliber of the other films. We'll see though! Should make for an interesting Oscar night!!!

When water comes to life....

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own.
And you know what you know. You are the guy who'll decide where to go.”

Today, there was snow. Finally. I was resigned to the fact that i may not see snow the winter of 08 and that was OK! They predicted 6-10 inches in the city. NOT!

When i opened my eyes at 6AM and peeked outside there it was in all its majectic beauty. OK, i know your probably saying gosh she's corny. I am, i know it. It's a character flaw of mine, but in a good way. Anyway, by 6.04AM i was back in bed, disappointed because i was unable to run today! It's ok, my body needed the rest.

I live in a 23 story apartment building so the walking paths are always cleaned right away. Cars are another story. We are on our own to clean and shovel our cars out! So, i bundled up, hat, hood, scarf, gloves, boots, i have to say i looked kinda cute. Walked out, it was amazingly warm in a wintry mix kinda way. I saw my car from afar and it didn't look quite as bad as i anticipated so i thought a quick cleaning was in order. A few minutes later i noticed an older gentleman friend of mine coming by with a younger, quite handsome (i want to say hot guy) man. He introduced him as his relative from Israel who doesn't speak english. Well, you know how that goes, i tried to initiate a conversation but without language we only had our eyes and maybe our smiles to communicate with each other. He was nice, he shoveled me out (and i don't mean that in a dirty way) i watched (he had a cute butt) and soon it was all finished.

So, now i'm thinking "hmmm, i really don't need to be there anymore* but yet i didn't leave. I figured i'd talk to my older gentleman friend and get some info. Info is, he's leaving tomorrow for DC. :O(

So, today when the water came to life in Brooklyn somehow so did i! It's really only called snow and not much of it, but it was fun while it lasted. Now, the question is will it be clean enough for me to run tomorrow???

By the way, i do not know the little joyous boy in the photo above, i just really liked his enthusiasm!!!

Wheatgrass - Deb - Kris - Love!!!

The art of living consists of dying young, but as late as possible.





I tried wheatgrass once! Just a spur of the moment decision when passing a juice cafe! It was shall i say interesting. Grassy! Almost sweet in taste.

I must give a shoutout and thank you to a wonderful person that i have met here online! Her name is Debbie, Deb for short. She has CLL (chronic lymphocytic leukemia) just like my mom so i feel a sort of kinship if you will. Please check out her blog here: debbie does raw Anyway, she was kind enough to send to me and others some samples of wheatgrass powder and wheatgrass coffee and honey! To me, this is an act of pure kindness and love.

I simply cannot believe the wonderous world of the world wide web. It's as though nice people know where to congregate online and we all find and befriend each other. People always want to help and be helped. Perfect example is Kris Carr over at
crazy sexy cancer!!! To quote Deb "CSC is a place of miracles..." Well said and very very true! Kris is a true pioneer in giving people a place to gather online and, simply put, just talk.

I've made amazing friends with so many people! The list is long but you all know who you are! I just want to say "i am there for you, all of you!" Help, advice, love, humour, music...whatever!! I'm in the loop.

So, let me end this by listing some of the reasons why we need to take wheatgrass daily!!!
1) It's a life-sustaining complete food
2) It's concentrated over-all nutrition
3) It's great for internal cleansing (god knows we all need internal cleansing)
4) It has powerful anti-oxidants
5) It arrests bacterial growth internally
6) It enhances repair mechanisms
7) It prevents the growth of cancer cells
8) It supports blood circulation
9) It neutralizes toxins
10) It reduces inflammation
(this list was included in my packet from Deb, so thanks)

Anybody else do wheatgrass? Shots or powder it works!

Where the wild things are.....

Ok, today i decided to be positive and hopeful and loving! Is there really any other way??? I had a better day, not great but better so thats good!

My very favorite book when i was young (as opposed to being old???) was Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak!

The book tells the story of Max, who one evening plays around his home, "making mischief" in a wolf costume (chasing the dog with a fork, etc.). As punishment, his mother sends him to bed without supper. In his room, a mysterious, wild forest grows out of his imagination, and Max journeys to the land of the Wild Things. They are fearsome-looking monsters, but Max conquers them with a scary look and he is made the King of the Wild Things. However, he soon finds himself lonely and homesick, and he returns home to his bedroom. He finds his supper waiting for him ... "And it was still hot."

Now i read that a full length movie is in the works. You can read about it here :

Where the wild things are

Is anybody else excited? Or more importantly, why do things like this excite me?? Just looks like fun, thats all!

Best line: The last five words. Max returns to his room and finds his supper waiting for him “and it was still hot.” When a new edition of Where the Wild Things Are was being prepared ten years after it won the Caldecott Medal, Sendak’s editor wrote to ask him if he wanted to change “hot” to “warm” because Harper Collins had heard from “a couple of children (or their rotten parents)” that “children don’t like hot” food.

Hey, maybe these children are raw foodies????

Woke up new.....

"I got ready for the future to arrive!"



Woke up New (The mountain goats)

on the morning when I woke up without you for the first time,
I felt free.
and I felt lonely.
and I felt scared.
and I began to talk to myself almost immediately,
not being used to being the only person there.
hmmmm

the first time I made coffee for just myself,
I made too much of it.
but I drank it all,
just 'cause you hate it when I let things go to waste.
and I wandered through the house, like a little boy lost at the mall.
and an astronaut could've seen the hunger in my eyes from space.

and I sang oh
what do I do?
what do I do?
what do I do?
what do I do without you?

on the morning when I woke up without you for the first time,
I was cold, so I put on a sweater.
and I turned up the heat.
and the walls began to close in
and I felt so sad and frightened,
I practically ran from the living room out into the street.

and the wind began to blow and all the trees began to bend.
and the world in its cold way started coming alive.
and I stood there like a businessman waiting for a train.
and I got ready for the future to arrive.

and I sang oh
what do I do?
what do I do?
what do I do?
what do I do without you?

While i realize this song may in fact sound depressing, i don't see it that way at all! If you listen to the words and watch the video to the end, the very last paragraph is awesome! I got ready for the future to arrive...WOW! So, powerful. The Moutain Goats are my new favorite band!!!

Feelings.....

You cannot make yourself feel something you do not feel, but you can make yourself do right in spite of your feelings.
Pearl S. Buck

I am having a very hard day. Let me explain please! It's as if i am floating outside of my body experiencing things that are out of my control. I am totally stressed and feel anxiety rushing over me. Now, i know this may sound ridiculous to some but a lot of it has to do with the way i eat. I am desperately trying to embrace the raw lifestyle and i've been doing quite well for the past 4 months.

Somehow, today its all getting to me. I haven't felt like juicing for 2 days now so i haven't. I haven't felt much like eating either but i have, only because i need energy and nutrients. It's as if all the raw food i've eaten and have yet to eat are conspiring against me and my body. I do not feel very good. I don't seem to have the "glow" and amazing attitude that other raw foodists have.

I read many raw food blogs and it all seems so easy and breezy and light. And fun. Is it? Not for me, at least not today. Today, nothing appeals to me. I made nice chocolate mint icecream and its still sitting in my freezer. I wanted to make almond bars because i have an awesome sounding recipe that i've been dying to try. So, i soaked my almonds and they are still sitting where i left them 4 hours ago.

Now i want to talk about the global juice feast that i was so committed to doing. I had big plans, really i did. 30-40 days of pure juice! I bought supplements that are still in an unopened box. Money well spent huh? So, i decided to ask a raw friend his opinion and his email started this way: "NO NO NO on the juice feast!!!!" This is of course his own opinions and after reading through his reasoning i am starting to agree with him. Am i easily swayed? Maybe. Maybe, i needed to hear it so i have a good excuse not to do it???

I do feel, i need to do "something" different or i am afraid i will lose all the momentum i gained and go back to eating cooked food. Is this a bad thing? I am so not sure right now. All i know is that its getting hard for me and me alone! Eating shouldn't be stressful right? If it is than whats the point?

So, today i am closed! Closed off to what my mind might discover. I am floating and don't know how to come back down to earth! Enough said i guess!

I have to share!!!

Without music, life would be a mistake.




You all know how much i love music right? So, Goldfrapp's new album Seventh Tree is being released 2/26/08 and if you simply cannot wait a week you can listen to the entire album here:
Goldfrapp I love it, so enjoy and tell me what you think!

Do you all know i am a runner? So, i am always searching for new music to run to. I just discovered a cool website that literally measures the BPM (beats per minute) of songs so that you can run at a certain pace. It's pretty neat! Check it out here:
jogtunes

Sharing ended!

I want this....and i'm getting this....

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water.






Unless you're stationed in the rapidly disappearing Arctic, you've probably heard about the evils of bottled water these past few months. I've watched this unfold with great interest, as it spoke to my own fraught love-hate relationship with bottled water.

Like many, I am both concerned about the environment and incredibly lazy. I also happen to be hydration-obsessed. I drink water around the clock in obscene, probably insalubrious quantities.

While I've tried to skirt the bottled-water issue whenever possible—I opt for brita at home and i suppose tap at restaurants—I've never figured out how to get my fix when out and about. I dislike the tinny aftertaste of water-fountain water (which has never satisfied my volume requirements anyway). And the permanent water bottles I've tried were either too aggressively outdoorsy, or—like the old time water bottles used when riding my bike too hideous.


Over the cries of my pocket book, I lapsed into the (yes: expensive) habit of buying bottled water en route to the subway several times a week. Sure, it's a rip-off, but the water is always so clean, so cool, so ... effortless.

What other options were there? The solution is clearly not, to refill my Poland Spring bottle more than a few times. I don't mind the bacterial buildup these bottles' design encourages. But I certainly don't want to be gulping down the carcinogens and hormone disruptors that the PETE No. 1 plastic may leach after more than one use.

So, today, I decided to end this internal warfare once and for all. I went in search of a reusable water bottle that I actually liked—a stylish, versatile, easy-to-clean (and carry) container that I could refill anywhere, as often as my thirst dictated.




I should add that what works on the trail doesn't always work in the mall, and vice versa. My quest was for a water bottle to accompany me in the urban, not the actual, jungle. It isn't only that I last went hiking in 1995. It's more that I seriously doubt the backpackers among us are responsible for the estimated 38 billion plastic bottles we sent to landfills last year.

Here's the criteria i looked for:

User-friendliness
Are there any health and/or environmental issues with the material? Is the bottle easy to clean? Dishwasher-safe? Is the price reasonable? Is the bottle easy to open and stow? Built to last?


Sex appeal
Design matters. If I feel stupid, or more stupid than usual, carrying a bottle around, I'll probably leave it at home and end up hitting the Volvic once again. The ideal water bottle will be an attractive lifestyle accessory that enhances all sorts of settings: not only the gym, but also the airport or the boardroom.

Portability
Portability is key. Leakage and sweatiness were also considered: A bottle should fit inside your purse without imperiling your iPod. Does the bottle's mouth prevent or promote spillage? Does it dent when dropped? Can you sip from it in a moving vehicle without ruining your silk top?

So here is what i chose:

The century-old Swiss company Sigg seems to have the most advanced understanding of what these water bottles really are: baubles. Functional baubles, but baubles nonetheless—used only to the extent that they're admired. Some of Sigg's 144 designs are a little over-the-top, uncomfortably reminiscent of the Swatch watches of my early childhood.

Siggs are made out of aluminum coated with a water-based epoxy, a combo that initially worried me. I was reassured to learn that no lab tests have ever found any evidence of bisphenol A leaching, even after prolonged use. So, i chose the Siggs circles orange with an orange transparent top. I am rather psyched about this purchase! Maybe, i will finally look cool when sipping on my many many oz's of water!!!


Put the chocolate in the bag and nobody gets hurt.

Ok, so now on to bigger and better! Today, i received an email from Sue saying this:
"Don’t get the chocolate covered sun flower seeds from whole foods – they are quite good and terribly addicting" She then intentionally (or unintentionally) sent me the link! The very dangerous link! Oh i did answer her with this:


"oh god, chocolate covered anything is so good!!!" and this:
"WOWOWOW, they look yummy!!! which ones did you get???now of course, i am tempted!!!! i will be there maybe tomorrow?"

So, i thought why not share this link with my friends?

sunflower food company

Yep, sorry i just had to..is anybody as tempted as i am? I don't know maybe its a familial thing that just us sisters posess. Our mutual love of and consumption of chocolate covered in just about anything. It's bad i know but....
It BOOSTS A SENSE OF WELL BEING. Xanthines found in chocolate create a sense of well-being. Theobromine opens the lungs and increases flow in blood vessels. It calms nerves and has a little stimulatory effect to give some additional energy without the addictive and negative stimulatory effects of caffeine.

I don't know about you, but i crave a sense of well being pretty much all the time. It surely helps me get through the day in one piece. So, when i say, i want chocolate covered sunflower seeds, its all for the health and well being that it gives to me. Thats it. Need i say more????

Autobiography in five chapters....

Autobiography in Five Chapters
l
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost ...
I am helpless.
It isn't my fault. It takes me forever to find a way out.

II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place but, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit. my eyes are open I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.

IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

V
I walk down another street.
- Portia Nelson



How much of life is spent in that hole, falling into it, blaming others for it, owning our own responsibility for it, but still falling into it, or walking around it? Why don't we walk down another street, I wonder? Perhaps in our last few days on earth, we will turn that corner. Can we get there before then? How would the quality of our lives be changed if we could? It is a street without street signs, it seems, not on MapQuest or Google Earth, one we can only find from the inside out.

We know things, I believe, only by knowing their opposite. I know autumn by knowing spring, I know love by knowing hate, health by knowing illness, peace by knowing anxiety, regular by knowing decaf. And I know life only by knowing death.

Death ends a life, not a relationship.

It takes us down another street.

Sorry, for the morbidness of this post but i felt i need to get this out! Besides, i really do love the poem and wanted to share!

Blood oranges and green juice!!!!

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single minute before starting to improve the world.” ~Anne Frank

Yesterday, i purchased a lot of green produce for juicing. I decided to try chicory, mint, kale, spinach, romaine, cilantro, cukes and celery.

Then, as i was wandering the store the beautiful colors of the fruits pulled me in. I think i can stand there and admire the loveliness of all the fruit and how its arranged to maximize the colors and textures.

I bought some blood oranges, pears, apples, grapes, cherries, bananas, and blueberries! I almost bought some cactus pears but then i remembered that i didn't care for them. Not sure why though.

I also bought some honey, brazil nuts, figs and agave...i've come across some nice recipes for nut milk using brazil or macadameian nuts. Figs have quickly become one of my favorite snacks. Easy to grab and eat on the go.

But, the blood orange really caught my eye! Just the name alone inspires your brain to picture the color. So, i slowly sliced it down the middle. It was exactly as i expected. Beautiful, shall i say bloody and so very sweet! I believe it took me about 8 seconds to consume it. Very nice.

Today, i decided to juice. I used all of the greens plus a pear and lemon. Others might say yuck or ugh! I say bring it on! It's quite delicious and so energizing. It feels so fresh as i taste it and let my tongue swish it all around my mouth. I just feel healthy and light. Juice feast here i come.

I realize that what i am writing here is something that many raw foodies have already experienced in their journeys. For me, maybe its all a bit new and so i need to shout it out to the world.

Of course, there is no right or wrong way to do this is there? I tend to listen to what my body is telling me. Today, i needed greens and plenty of it. Also, i am now thinking i may decrease the length of my juice feast to about 14-21 days. I shall see.

It's all relative isn't it. For me, a 21 day juice feast is just like someone else doing it for 92 days! I am not approaching it as if it was a test, but more like an adventure into new territory! Cleansing and detoxing and giving my body a deserved rest!

I will juice blood oranges and greens!! Color and texture and taste! YES!!!!

Thank you my friends!!!!!!

No one can make you feel inferior without your permission. ~Eleanor Roosevelt.



I've been doing a lot of reading of blogs lately! Wonderful, informative, inspiring blogs! I've made many friends and even had my blog posted on another blog which brought a lot of people here. WOW! Thanks, Keiko!

As, i've been reading and learning i realized that i am not very evolved in the raw food community. I don't know all the latest recipes for smoothies and green juice. I haven't attempted making cookies or almond bars yet. My salads pretty much consist of the same few items! Sure, i have chia seeds and hemp seeds. I have raw cacao and all kinds of raw nuts. I have goji berries...I make a killer raw chocolate pudding!!! I take vitamineral green religiously plus some MSM. But, i know there's more. I don't even grow my own sprouts and settle for alfalfa. I make my own version of raw cereal in the morning but thats as far as i've gotten!

So, i want to take the next step in eating raw! I want to learn and prepare interesting dishes so that i feel tempted to eat and enjoy! I want to massage my salads before i eat it so that my energy and love comes through in how it tastes and feels in my mouth.

I love my new friends so much! I have never met a group of people who are so eager to help, loveable and beautiful inside and out plus you are never judged if lets say you eat 80/20 instead of 100%. Your minds are fresh and your hearts are pure!

March 1st i will start my first juice feast ever! I am looking forward to this time in my life as a time of renewal and love. Feeling clean and healthy and i would like to document some of the feast here. But, most of all right now i want to thank everybody for supporting me and this blog. I love you guys a lot!!! You all know who you are!!!!!!!

More light!

Dare to reach out your hand into the darkness, to pull another hand into the light. ~Norman B. Rice



I always thought i was a night person. I thought i liked the darkness. Well, i do when i want to sleep or look at the moon and stars. But, as i embrace peace and well being, i crave the light much more!

Light comes in many forms. There's Superman, faster than the speed of light. There's the realization that you finally understand something...it's finally coming to light! There's eating light! There's feeling light and bouncy! There's ways to light your home, neon, flourescent bulbs, sparkles, glitter, the light coming from your dehydrator (forgive me i do not have one) sunlight, torchlight, candlelight, incandesant light, even the little light in your refriderator and lets not forget flashlights!!! Then of course there's the holiday lights so bright and beautiful in every imaginable color. Christmas trees, hanukkah menorah's, and the lights that adorn the homes of everybody celebrating!! Let's not forget firelight!

So, light is everywhere! It makes me want to awaken each day and not just flip the covers and get out of bed, but to actually hop or jump out of bed! It makes me happy to see the sun slowly rising over the ocean as i stretch out for my morning light run!!!

My journey discovering raw has been like a light bulb being turned on in my mind. The more i learn the lighter everything looks and feels. The lighter i look and feel and thats the part i love the most. I've made the most amazing friends that fully embrace the lightness. It's everywhere i look! When you posess light from within, you always see it externally.

Can you imagine living in a world of pure darkness? When you are depressed, no matter how light it is you feel darkness taking over. When you are born without sight you are in a world of darkness. There is darkness living in Alaska. I don't know, some people may like that...Not me! So, shine a light on your depression and it lifts. Learn to read braille and the darkness becomes just a bit lighter.

I can go on and on about how the light, the sun, the glitter, the sparkles illuminate our world. How it illuminates my world. I am grateful for the light!

Even when love isn't enough....somehow it is!

Happy Valentines Day to my raw friends, my non raw friends or anybody reading this blog!!!!!





It's a special day, isn't it? I mean, even for the folks that are single (like myself) i feel the love! I thought i'd do something fun so here's a list of romantic sounding places.... Anybody, wanna live in Flowers, MS...Cupid Lake, MN or Heart's Content, PA? Not me!!!

SO, now i'm thinking....ok its a good excuse to eat some chocolate (raw of course)...

What if your Heart’s not into it?

Over the past few years, a growing number of people have been voicing their discontent with Valentine’s Day, and retailers have created a market of products just for them. Anti-Valentine’s Day cards and merchandise have appeared online and in stores, and they have become more mainstream.

Messages on cards and T-shirts are targeted toward singles or to people who prefer to ignore the holiday. Some sentiments poke fun at the occasion or mock Valentine’s Day. Even e-cards have gotten in on the action.

One electronic card on bluemountain.com shows a woman crying and covered with roses. “Valentine’s Day …” it begins. Inside it says, “Hate it with a passion!” Then there are cards for the more bitter and angry consumers.
“What is worse than a cheating husband? Give up?” asks the front of a card on cafepress.com. Inside, the card answers, “A cheating husband that got caught! Goodbye loser!”

So, i'll just leave you with this thought:
"Its better to eat twinkies with your friends than to eat broccoli alone"

I'm in love with......

One Lucky Duck
Go here please!!! I cannot stress it enough. Ok, let me start from the beginning. I had heard of Pure Food and Wine (well who hasn't) and really want to devour a meal there. I am planning on taking Sue after tax season for her belated birthday. But, thats a long way off. So, i took a look at Sarma's One Lucky Duck website and felt compelled to place an order.

I'm always looking for body products (mostly body lotion) and i read about How Now Brown Cacao. Let's just say, if you like chocolate, like the smell of chocolate than this product is for you! I have it sitting here on my desk and i almost want to eat it! Then i ordered a bottle of MSM for my upcoming juice feast, which i will talk about in another post.

A bag of chocolate macaroons, a bag of grawnola, a bag of goji berries, and a special gift for free one lucky duck chewey almond crunch bar. Each item better than the next. Plus, while of course it came in a box (in 2 days) it was wrapped in lovely pink tissue paper and the invoice has an adorable smiley heart with the words thank you!

To me, its the little touches that make me so appreciative. I sent a quick email off to Sarma thanking her. Everything is fresh, tasty and quite delicious!

Anybody wanna join me at Pure for a meal? If her treats are this good, imagine what her food tastes like!

Update: Sarma answered my email extremely fast! She's lovely....

Beyond excited.....

The Ringing Cedars Series. You must read Anastasia!

“I exist for those for whom I exist” - Anastasia

In 1994 a Siberian elder told the entrepreneur Vladimir Megre a fascinating story about the "ringing cedars" - trees respected from Biblical times for their curative powers and the capacity to re-connect human beings with the Divine. The elder told him where such a ringing cedar was growing in the Siberian backwoods. Vladimir Megre set out on an expedition to find the tree. But his encounter with the elder's granddaughter Anastasia transformed him so deeply that he abandoned his commercial plans and, penniless, went to Moscow to write a book about the spiritual insights she shared with him. What happened next thrilled and inspired millions! With no advertisement other than word of mouth the Ringing Cedars Series has become an international bestseller. Having sold over 10 million copies in Russian alone and translated into 20 languages, it has made Vladimir Megre into one of Russia's most widely read authors.The books, which read like a fascinating novel, have an authenticity of a documentary account and present spiritual insights of incredible depth, are believed to be a most significant masterpiece of Russian literature and one of the most important revelations in the history of humanity. These highly unusual books provide extraordinary insights into dozens of subjects - from natural child rearing to the production of high-energy, healing foods, from the meaning of human life to the amazing potential that awaits every one of us, from ancient megalithic science to the vital importance of breast-feeding, and from sacred sexuality to the hidden history of world religions. Megre presents Anastasia's deep understanding of Mankind's innate spiritual connection to Nature and provides practical solutions to the problems currently facing humanity. He reveals her brilliant vision for the future of this planet, one full of hope and possibility. Her words of wisdom inspire and uplift in a way that has an immediate and profound impact on the reader.

This excerpt was taken from the Ringing Cedars website. I just ordered the full 8 book series of Anastasia! I am beyond excited. This series has been mentioned numerous times on various blogs that i read on a daily basis and so my fascination with Anastasia was born. Being the voracious reader that i am, i am sure i will hungrily rip open the box and start on book 1 right away! This is well worth my money...so yes i am beyond excited! I am uber excited and i possibly may have a
geekgasm just by turning the pages...

Floating like a feathery lovelyness!!!!

“When it snows, you have two choices: shovel or make snow angels"



There is something so soothing and immediate about watching the snow fall. It sort of fits in with the way i feel. Light, airy, healthy, vibrant and happy. So, today when the snow started and the air was brisk and tingly, i felt like the sky was opening up with such a purity that it made me smile. Then later, when i peeked outside i saw something quite wonderful. The snow had incresed in intensity but that wasn't it. I saw what looked like big fluffy feathers falling slowly to the ground. The flakes were big! They were so white and clean. Again, it made me happy to witness such a miracle.

My only real concern is i will probably not be able go out on a run tomorrow. While that doesn't make me sad, it frustrates me because running is quite frankly, a very enjoyable thing to do. It is hard, living in the city and dealing with inclement weather. So, i think tomorrow is a catch up day for me. Just lots of stuff to do around the house...but then i think...hmmm, maybe i will go outside to look for the prettiest, lightest, purest snowflake. I think i can find it for sure...

"Sprouting my mungs"?

Your heart is full of fertile seeds, waiting to sprout.



So, for the past few days, my sis Sue has been in the business of sprouting! I am kinda jealous of this because i do love a good sprout in my salads. I try to explain to her that maybe i want some of her sprouts, i sort of hint more than actually saying the words but i'm still stuck with store bought sprouts. Which is fine if all you like is alfalfa sprouts.

Today, i looked up online what a sprout bag looked like and quite honestly, to me it looked like an old woman's underware! When i questioned Sue about this, here's what she said: "No it looks more like a small canvas bag" Short and sweet are her answers.

So, this world of sprouting is still foreign to me! Even Anthony over at Raw Model has never mentioned sprouting his own before! But see, this is what i love about Sue! She always likes to try new things and usually succeeds! When i talk to her about Raw she is always responds positivly! Always!

I just completed a phone call with an old friend who has admitted to me on numerous occassions that she has an "eating disorder". Among other things, she does the whole binging/vomiting/laxitive end of the spectrum. When i said to her, very nicely i might add "stacy, why are you doing this to yourself???? Her response was "well you juice everyday don't you? Why yes i do! So, thats kinda strange to me!! So, she's comparing her "eating disorder" with my juicing. Not even close huh? I feel vibrant, healthy, alive! She feels fat, scared and not so alive. To me, this is very disturbing and scary and i told her so. She thanked me for my concern and then said don't worry i have it under control. NO YOU DO NOT!!!

So, back to sprouting! Its healthy, its fun to do and it sure is tasty! So, i say to Sue...you ROCK! Sprout away and while your at it, make me some zucchini pasta with sundried tomato pesto sauce! What time is dinner?

Eat your frog!

It is 10.55PM and i am almost ready for bed!

I was thinking about some advice an ex-coworker of mine once gave me. She said "Michelle, everyday when you come into the office, eat your frog first.

In other words, whatever task you are most dreading, do it first. Get it out of the way, so you can move on to other things without that burden hanging over your head.

This was perhaps the best advice i've ever received! I'm not always able to follow it, but boy, am i happier when i do.

So, that same co-worker and I decided that we'd start each day with a frog telecon (or frogchat via IMs). We'd identify our frogs, and commit to each other that we'd tackle them right away. Then later in the day we'll check in and see how we're doing.

So, that was a few years ago but i still to this day follow the "eat your frog first" mentality! I do not put any undue pressure upon myself, i just identify my frog for the day and get it out of the way! It makes the rest of my day just so much easier.

So, this morning my frog was getting in my 3 miles! (running that is) Simple right? Not when it's 5 degrees outside with 20 mile hour winds. So, my running frog remains for another day!

Then there's my home frog! Lots of stuff there but i always get it done. Home frog, to me is most important because it sets the tone for the rest of the day!!!

Hey, i do realize that frog if eaten is not technically raw...so lets just eat the frog metaphorically OK?

So, what's your frog today?
(I'd be curious to know readers)!!!

P.S. Make sure you set up your frog telecon with a friend or even a foe, just for indentifying your frog!

What am i doing??

“We forget that historically, people have eaten for a great many reasons other than biological necessity. Food is also about pleasure, about community, about family and spirituality, about our relationship to the natural world, and about expressing our identity.”





It's as if i lost all thought processes when it comes to food. I read blogs, i look up recipes, i think about what i will eat for the day yet i eat the same things over and over. I want to embrace the raw lifestyle and make it my own. Not hardcore, just dedicated.

Each thing i do or accomplish helps me to live a pure, conflict free life. Why deal with the complications of not being evolved enough to know when you are wrong? I know when i am wrong, but i also know when i am right. I do not throw my beliefs out to other people hoping to convert them. I simply explain my life and hope they understand.

So this book "In defense of Food" I want to read it. Not just read it, but absorb it into the deep crevices of my brain! It is currently being featured as a book club book on
crazy sexy cancer a blog that i love by the way! Kris Carr is magic and delightful. She has a posse of CSC people that are smart, funny and full of life. So, anyway amazon is calling my name to order this book.

I need to pick a direction of the way i want my diet to proceed. 50/50? 80/20? or 100%. Whatever i choose i need to stick to it and create healthy, beautiful, detoxing food that will take me way beyond just eating.

I believe in friendship.....

Marilyn Monroe once said:

I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes. I'm out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

Today, i feel a bit melancholy!

melancholy

A cool word.

I've often felt melancholy in this life.

Maybe the word i'm looking for is pensive. I seem to be thinking a great deal today! Thoughts keep poping into my head for no apparent reason. What i'd like to do is make a list. A list of what makes a good friend IMHO...so here goes:

1) A friend will always be there for you even when they physically can't. It may be through email, letter, or phone. You always know that you can contact them and that they will respond.

2) A friend will always be honest with you and not just tell you what it is that you want to hear.

3) A friend will understand.

4) A friend will care.

5) A friend will love unconditionally.

6) A friend will listen.

7) A friend will know. (what to say, what to do, and what to be-even when you do not).

8) A friend will be happy for you.

9) A friend will never leave. Miles may separate you but hearts will always keep you together.

10) A friend will always know what being a friend is, what being a friend means, and will understand your every mood.


There's so much more but these are a few that I look for and have in my true friendships. It seem so odd sometimes. Months will sometimes pass where life gets busy and phone calls or visits to friends do not occur. Then one day the phone rings and it is that special friend, and it seems like just yesterday that we talked.

I'm not quite sure why i felt the need to make this list. I am so not a list kinda gal. Maybe, just maybe a friend of mine will read this and say "WOW, so thats what i have to do to be Michelle's friend". Not to hard is it? Actually, i think its rather easy to be a friend.

You know when you get the mass emails saying something like "share this with all the wonderful friends in your life...i just did"! So, you smile and think your special and then you look at all the other people it was sent to and you realize your actually not so special afterall. So, the smile fades just a bit and you wonder, hmmm, why did she send this email to "her" or "him". They are assholes. Ah well, thats going to be one of life's biggest mysteries to me because i do not do well with confrontations. So, i let it be!



Seek not to change the world, but choose to change your mind about the world.

The glittery loveliness of excess serotonin....

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life’s about creating yourself.”

Serotonin is a neurotransmitter produced in the brain known to influence the functioning of the cardiovascular, renal, immune, and gastrointestinal systems.

Any disruption in the synthesis, metabolism or uptake of this neurotransmitter has been found to be partly responsible for certain manifestations of schizophrenia, depression, compulsive disorders and learning problems.


The diffuse connections of serotonin allow it to affect many basic psychological functions such as anxiety mechanisms and the regulation of mood, thoughts, aggression, appetite, sex drive and the sleep/wake cycle. Multiple observations suggest that serotonin, one of the most abundant neurotransmitters, plays an important role in the regulation of mood and a key role in the treatment of depression. Having said all this:

Heaven, if there is such a thing, must surely be a place where the serotonin flows at abundant yet consistent levels every day without fail. Today seems quite close to that ideal because of Earth-bound though wonderfully appropriate serotonin levels.

The world has a silvery glow. Everything I touch turns to pixie-dust shimmers of glittery loveliness.

So forgive, please, these extemporaneous burblings on the goodness of life. I may need to refer back to this post at some point in the future when the serotonin plummets and life once again feels bleak.

Today I’ve realized that I may just be the luckiest person ever. I got to run 3 miles today! I got to correspond with some wonderful people today! I got to learn things today! I got to eat beautiful healthful food that makes me healthy today!!

On a day like today I feel blessed to be alive! I feel blessed to be able to love and be loved! To ask questions and not be chastised for it...to talk to my sibling and feel the love from the conversation!

I peek into my cupboards to contemplate cheerfully the food that’s there. Almond milk waits in the ‘fridge, fresh vegetables huddle on the cutting board
and fresh bananas perch on a shelf ready to be peeled and eaten!

Does it ever concern me when great heaping mounds of snow rush from the sky, blocking my car from pulling out of the driveway and trapping me in the house? No, it does not concern me, because luck or fate or whatever provides a small tribe of opportunistic teenagers willing to free me from this snowy prison in exchange for a few bills, which they accept sweaty and spent for the day after shoveling twice as long as they’d originally anticipated.

Color me blessed. And grateful! And almost — almost! — convinced that providence watches down on me from above. But, you know, I don’t really believe that.
Because before the snow melts, before the groceries are eaten, before any of those things happen, the serotonin will once again drop and things will seem less glittery.

I just need to remember that on the next day, or maybe the next, I’ll go back to being the luckiest person ever. The glittery will return. It never stays away

I'm a new soul......

I'm a new soul I came to this strange world hoping I could learn a bit about how to give and take.
But since I came here felt the joy and the fear finding myself making every possible mistake

la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...

I'm a young soul in this very strange world hoping I could learn a bit about what is true and fake.
But why all this hate? Try to communicate finding just that love is not always easy to make.

la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...

This is a happy end cause' you don't understand everything you have done why's everything so wrong

this is a happy end come and give me your hand I'll take your far away.

[Refrain]:
I'm a new soul I came to this strange world hoping I could learn a bit about how to give and take but since I came here felt the joy and the fear finding myself making every possible mistake.

It's apple, It's Yael Naim....need i say more?

The magic of orange!

"Nothing tastes as good as being healthy feels."






Grapefruits, Oranges, and other citrus fruits look just like the mammary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the movement of lymph in and out of the breasts.

You can read more at:

teleological nutritional targeting

Also here is a post from bueller's Kitchen

Earlier I posted at length about lemons and how they keep me from getting sick. I wanted to take a moment to write down the short version because sometimes I even forget what’s what. So here is my “Aid” routine for when I’m “coming down with something”:

At the first sign of a scratchy throat, swollen glands or just exhausted I make Orange-aid,

Orange-aid Recipe


1 1/2 quarts orange juice

2 lemons - squeeze them in the orange juice


Drink this down within a 1/2 an hour.

The large size at a Jamba Juice will do and they will squeeze lemons in it if you ask them. I drink this down within a 1/2 hour. To do this within a half an hour is very important as is the quantity. This also works with any citrus juice, not just orange juice, but I add the lemons to whatever I choose.

Ideally I try to do this and go to sleep but if that’s not possible I at least try to take it down a notch.

It works folks! I was coming down with a cold and cough so i decided to try the orange-aid that bueller talked about in his wonderful blog. I figured what can i lose...if anything its tasty and sweet and quite yummy. So, i juiced some oranges and also bought a 36oz container of tropicana. I also juiced the lemons so i was able to get more juice out of them!! IT WORKED!!! My cold was virtually non existent and the cough lasted no more than a day or two.

I've been eating these lately thanks to Uncle:

Honeybell Orange

Honeybell oranges are the sweetest, juiciest oranges I've ever tasted! For those of you who have not been fortunate enough to experience a Honeybell Orange, here's a little info about them: Available only for a few weeks in January every year, Honeybells are a hybrid of Dancy Tangerines and Duncan Grapefruits. One Honeybell grower describes the flavor as a combination of orange, grapefruit, peach and strawberry, with a hint of honey. They're usually shipped with complementary bibs -- they're that juicy.

This is no exageration...they are sweet, very juicy and big enough to share. I'm really enjoying them and feel sad that the season is slowly coming to an end.

So, you see there are tons of ways to utilize oranges in your diet. I like juicing them and drinking the juice right away! A great way to wake up in the morning when you crave something a bit sweet! So, go for it...let the magic of orange work its magic on you.

This is how i see it!!!!

Invalidation may be the single most damaging form of psychological abuse

Invalidation is to reject, ignore, mock, tease, judge, or diminish someone's feelings. Constant invalidation may be one of the most significant reasons a person with high innate emotional intelligence suffers from unmet emotional needs later in life. Invalidation goes beyond mere rejection by implying not only that our feelings are disapproved of, but that we are fundamentally abnormal. This implies that there is something wrong with us because we aren't like everyone else; we are strange; we are different; we are weird.

None of this feels good, and all of it damages us. The more different from the mass norm a person is, for example, more intelligent or more sensitive, the more he is likely to be invalidated. When we are invalidated by having our feelings repudiated, we are attacked at the deepest level possible, since our feelings are the innermost expression of our individual identities.

Psychological invalidation is one of the most lethal forms of emotional abuse. It kills confidence, creativity and individuality.

Here are some of the things i've been told recently:
Get over it.
Grow up
Get a life
Deal with it.
Don't be so dramatic.
I tried to help you..but
You have a problem.
Oh, you poor thing. Did I hurt your little feelings?
I am sick of hearing about it.You are just ... (being difficult; being dramatic, in a bad mood, tired, etc)
Stop taking everything so personally
There's nothing wrong with you
You are way too emotional.
You need to get your head examined!
You are impossible
Don't you think you are being a little dramatic?

I have lived for 46 years, thus far...and I hardly think I've waited all these years and went through all the things that I've endured, just to have a friend tell me how to 'get through it'....Nothing anyone says will make it go away....nothing will make a friend in pain feel better....except for the words "I'll be right here for you if you need to talk".

I am just venting here but there was an incident in my life that has greatly affected my way of thinking and dealing with people. I very rarely hear the words above! It bothers me. I was mocked and laughed at. I do not know why. I was invalidated big time. Again, i do not know why. I need to know though. It hurts! OK, its out there for all the world to see. I feel a little better.

Thanks!

Lets play it by ear?

Play it by ear:


To do something by feel and instinct rather than with a plan, to improvise
I think I will play it by ear since I have so much time.

Meaning
More recently it is also used figuratively to mean 'handle a situation in an impromptu manner', i.e. without reference to pre-determined rules or guidelines.

So, today i was told "lets play it by ear"! At first, i was put off by this statement! Then i decided to google it and understood where that statement was coming from.

Let me explain...today was the 2nd time this week that i saw Liz. She may have questioned my motives as to why i wanted to have a 2nd session. I asked her if it was OK or weird? She said "lets play it by ear". I am not sure if i have the right to insist that this is what i want to do. I am willing to pay, money is not the issue! I feel that i need a 2nd session. I want to explore what my mind is doing. I want to explore my feelings and i feel the only way to accomplish this is too really work hard, be open and honest and possibly have a 2nd session. I want to succeed at interpersonal communication with Liz. I crave validation from Liz, where my opinions are acknowledged, respected, heard and (regardless whether or not she actually agrees with me) i would like to be treated with respect whereas my expression of feelings are not dismissed.

OK, here's the part i've been dreading. I do not do therapy well. I have to really work at it. It takes a very long time for me to come to any realizations about myself. It's hard work, both on my part and especially on Liz's part. She's more than patient, but at the same time she's tough. I do ask silly questions sometimes, not realizing that maybe there is something deeper there. Why ask these questions all the time? I sort of like to compare what i do and think with what Liz does and thinks. This is wrong on so many levels.

Let's just say, i have a lot of work to do to understand and come to any realizations about myself. I am "In Treatment" I'm also thinking that being "In Treatment" is all the rage now thanks to HBO! Sometimes, its fun in a creepy sort of way. So, i end this exactly as i started this...lets play it by ear!

Super Tuesday!!!

Super Tuesday (2008), Super Duper Tuesday, Mega Tuesday, Giga Tuesday, Tsunami Tuesday, and The Tuesday of Destiny are names for 5 February 2008, the day on which the largest simultaneous number of state U.S. presidential primary elections in the history of U.S. primaries will be held. Twenty-four states and American Samoa are scheduled to hold either caucuses or primary elections for one or both parties on this date. Additionally the week long Democrats Abroad Global Primary will begin on this day.

So, today i worked! I worked Super Tuesday! Or Super Duper Tuesday, or Mega Tuesday, Giga Tuesday, and my personal favorite Tsunami Tuesday! Whoah, who came up with this? Anyway, got there about 5.45AM to be greeted by the whole team. I was supposed to be there at 5.30AM but i have this problem about arriving at things on time! But, thats for a whole other post! 6AM official opening of the poles. The work itself was not hard, in fact it was quite boring at times. What i loved was meeting and greeting the voters and interacting with them. I find this very interesting. The voters here were a mix of the very young, the very old and a large russian community!

The day itself seemed to fly by! With 3 (1 hour) breaks the 15 hours widdled down to 12. I enjoy the commraderie of working with a team and leaning on one another for help if needed! Of course, there were some bumps throughout the day but i have to say a successful Tsunami Tuesday was what we were left with at 9PM.

I am now left to watch, with interest the results and then to research the candidates and see where i stand come this November!

Something rather cool!!!!

Ok, well i think this is cool as a avid tissue user! It's what i go to when i feel the need to blow! So, here it is:
design your own box of kleenex

Kinda nice for valentines day for your sweetie! Nothing says love than a lovingly designed box of tissues!

17-14!!! Enough said!!!

Pepsi ad featuring Justin Timberlake!!!




Anybody watch the game? I didn't but i did catch the end so i know the Giants won!! I'm happy!

Go Giants.....or Eat your fruit!!!!

Superbowl:

30 second clips of men running in between commercials.

or


Superbowl:

A huge bowl that can contain a large amount of fruit.

Hmmm which one would you rather watch/eat/live/do/see/touch/love????

My old friends....and running!

As i was outside running today, i thought of only one thing. Where are my old friends? It was about the time that they should be making an appearance on the boards! Weekend, 8.30AM. I finished my 1st mile thinking i guess i missed them. Then suddenly on the way back there out of the corner of my eye was Hector! He was stretching out his tired old muscles on a bench. I stopped. Looked at him and slowly walked over. That was all i needed to be brought back to another time and place. Memories were flooding my emotions, great memories they were! I knew if Hector was there, the others were soon to follow. We slowly jogged back to the meeting place and there they were in all their glory! Ilene, Janet and Randy! I gently hugged each one of them and we said our hellos! The running started and Ilene reminded me to go easy! "Do not increase by more than 10% Michelle or you will get a stress fracture" I will listen to her words. Talking resumed and before i knew it a mile was run.

So, old friends, to me are the best friends. It was as if we see each other everyday! No pauses or awkwardness. Just mutual admiration and love! Great conversation and of course last but not least...our love of simply running!

Confusion is setting in....

So, i was sitting here today reading up on juice feasting and all that goes along with it. When i got to the supplement section on juice feasting i suddenly stopped and sat there dumbfounded. So much! Maybe, i am not understanding why all this is needed. I mean i am all for supplementation, i don't know i just feel confused. Should i purchase everything on the list? Or go with my gut..I am already using Vitamineral green and Earth, both of which i love. I am really just trying to wrap my mind around the fact that in 1 month i will be starting a juice feast! That means no food..for at least a month or more. Wow, what was i thinking? Oh, i have no doubt i will complete the 30-40 days that i am planning on. It's just a daunting prospect in my mind is all. My feelings right now are excitement, empowerment, a bit of aprehension, wonder, love of greens, feeling light, calmness, and resolve! Each of these feelings can be dealt with separately or in a bunch. I am thinking once i decide on all the supplements and actually place an order, the feeling of calmness will overtake all the other bad feelings! Light, love, brightness and the power of juicing, thats where its at!!! I'd like to include here some of the thoughts of David and Katrina Rainoshek:

IMAGINE what your life would look like if you had amazing physcial health, health beyond your wildest dreams and expectations!


Do you think that with such health you could:

be free of fear of developing one or many of the cronic illnesses that affect many of today's population?
create a deeper, more joyful experience of life for yourself, free of physical discomfort and pain?
experience mental clarity and freedom from "brain fog?"
enjoy your body more, as it becomes the correct weight for your height?
feel proud of your radiant, glowing, healthy skin and bright, clear eyes?
enjoy eating free from guilt, and in a way that is ecologically and environmentally beneficial?
gain more self confidence?
be blown away by how GOOD it is possible for you to feel?
kiss common colds, flus, headaches, mucus, and more goodbye?
eliminate the need for chemical pharmaceuticals and prescription drugs?
effortlessly move away from the foods that create illness because you now get FAR MORE pleasure from feeling healthy than you ever did from eating sugary, processed foods.
be a powerful example of HUMAN POTENTIAL, sharing your health secrets with the millions of people who so badly need to see and hear about vibrant, healthy people like yourself?
have consistant energy and emotional stability throughout the day?
What if there was a way for you to realize such exelent health for yourself, and what if it was as simple as FEASTING on fresh, natural, beautiful JUICE! Well, IT IS!

Juice Feasting is, at its heart, about self-empowerment and abundance.

JUICE FEASTING means you can drink all fresh, nutrient-dense juices for up to 92 Days, healing and preventing almost every major health challenge we have developed in western society. Join thousands of individuals, including recognized health professionals who are switching on to Juice Feasting as a way to make significant healing and health possible for themselves, their clients, and those they love.

God, this is something that i can and will do! I have no choice do I?