Friday, February 8, 2008

The glittery loveliness of excess serotonin....

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life’s about creating yourself.”

Serotonin is a neurotransmitter produced in the brain known to influence the functioning of the cardiovascular, renal, immune, and gastrointestinal systems.

Any disruption in the synthesis, metabolism or uptake of this neurotransmitter has been found to be partly responsible for certain manifestations of schizophrenia, depression, compulsive disorders and learning problems.

The diffuse connections of serotonin allow it to affect many basic psychological functions such as anxiety mechanisms and the regulation of mood, thoughts, aggression, appetite, sex drive and the sleep/wake cycle. Multiple observations suggest that serotonin, one of the most abundant neurotransmitters, plays an important role in the regulation of mood and a key role in the treatment of depression. Having said all this:

Heaven, if there is such a thing, must surely be a place where the serotonin flows at abundant yet consistent levels every day without fail. Today seems quite close to that ideal because of Earth-bound though wonderfully appropriate serotonin levels.

The world has a silvery glow. Everything I touch turns to pixie-dust shimmers of glittery loveliness.

So forgive, please, these extemporaneous burblings on the goodness of life. I may need to refer back to this post at some point in the future when the serotonin plummets and life once again feels bleak.

Today I’ve realized that I may just be the luckiest person ever. I got to run 3 miles today! I got to correspond with some wonderful people today! I got to learn things today! I got to eat beautiful healthful food that makes me healthy today!!

On a day like today I feel blessed to be alive! I feel blessed to be able to love and be loved! To ask questions and not be chastised for talk to my sibling and feel the love from the conversation!

I peek into my cupboards to contemplate cheerfully the food that’s there. Almond milk waits in the ‘fridge, fresh vegetables huddle on the cutting board
and fresh bananas perch on a shelf ready to be peeled and eaten!

Does it ever concern me when great heaping mounds of snow rush from the sky, blocking my car from pulling out of the driveway and trapping me in the house? No, it does not concern me, because luck or fate or whatever provides a small tribe of opportunistic teenagers willing to free me from this snowy prison in exchange for a few bills, which they accept sweaty and spent for the day after shoveling twice as long as they’d originally anticipated.

Color me blessed. And grateful! And almost — almost! — convinced that providence watches down on me from above. But, you know, I don’t really believe that.
Because before the snow melts, before the groceries are eaten, before any of those things happen, the serotonin will once again drop and things will seem less glittery.

I just need to remember that on the next day, or maybe the next, I’ll go back to being the luckiest person ever. The glittery will return. It never stays away
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