Feelings.....

You cannot make yourself feel something you do not feel, but you can make yourself do right in spite of your feelings.
Pearl S. Buck

I am having a very hard day. Let me explain please! It's as if i am floating outside of my body experiencing things that are out of my control. I am totally stressed and feel anxiety rushing over me. Now, i know this may sound ridiculous to some but a lot of it has to do with the way i eat. I am desperately trying to embrace the raw lifestyle and i've been doing quite well for the past 4 months.

Somehow, today its all getting to me. I haven't felt like juicing for 2 days now so i haven't. I haven't felt much like eating either but i have, only because i need energy and nutrients. It's as if all the raw food i've eaten and have yet to eat are conspiring against me and my body. I do not feel very good. I don't seem to have the "glow" and amazing attitude that other raw foodists have.

I read many raw food blogs and it all seems so easy and breezy and light. And fun. Is it? Not for me, at least not today. Today, nothing appeals to me. I made nice chocolate mint icecream and its still sitting in my freezer. I wanted to make almond bars because i have an awesome sounding recipe that i've been dying to try. So, i soaked my almonds and they are still sitting where i left them 4 hours ago.

Now i want to talk about the global juice feast that i was so committed to doing. I had big plans, really i did. 30-40 days of pure juice! I bought supplements that are still in an unopened box. Money well spent huh? So, i decided to ask a raw friend his opinion and his email started this way: "NO NO NO on the juice feast!!!!" This is of course his own opinions and after reading through his reasoning i am starting to agree with him. Am i easily swayed? Maybe. Maybe, i needed to hear it so i have a good excuse not to do it???

I do feel, i need to do "something" different or i am afraid i will lose all the momentum i gained and go back to eating cooked food. Is this a bad thing? I am so not sure right now. All i know is that its getting hard for me and me alone! Eating shouldn't be stressful right? If it is than whats the point?

So, today i am closed! Closed off to what my mind might discover. I am floating and don't know how to come back down to earth! Enough said i guess!